Sally00 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 My boyfriend is 19... almost 20. I'm 20. He lives with his parents. His stepmom is quite controlling. His dad couldn't care less what his son does. He just goes along with what the stepmom says. His stepmom calls him, asks what he's doing, what time he'll be home, etc etc etc. It's annoying as hell. She's supposedly hell at work (the boyfriend works with her and the rest of the family), makes him clean his room, do laundry, etc. His sister's boyfriend says she has him by a leash. My boyfriend is so sick of it, he's trying to move out. Trying to find a better job with better pay. He's also paying for his own college and everything. It pisses me off the way some parents are. The way they make him act like an adult to where he has to pay for everything... and yet, they don't TREAT him like one. My parents are nothing like his. They're easy-going, understanding, and I can talk to them about anything. They're like my friends and I love it. And everytime I hear about crap from his parents, it makes me VERY THANKFUL for mine. I'm just wondering. Is there anybody else who has controlling parent(s)... I'm talking about your boyfriend/girlfriend who is an ADULT with controlling parents. I'm so frustrated with this. And I can't even imagine how frustrated HE is...
Touche Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Am I missing something here? What's so wrong with expecting him to do his laundry and clean his room? Should they be doing that FOR him? Sorry, but I don't think parents should be your "friend." They're supposed to be your parents and teach you to be responsible. I don't see how he's being abused in any way.
norajane Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Have you considered that it is these very same parents who have raised your boyfriend to be the loving, considerate man you love? That doesn't just happen by accident, you know. Give them a little credit for knowing a tiny bit more about raising a son than you do.
Author Sally00 Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 Nevermind. I guess you just have to be there... see how pissed off his parents get at such petty things and how they seem to treat him. I'm not saying that having your stepmom tell you to clean your room is a horrible thing. It's just one of the things she just forces him to do when he already does it. He gets home from work and it's like he can't even take a little time to relax without his stepmom b!tching at him for SOMETHING. He does NOT act like a 10 year old. And I'm just saying he doesn't need to be treated like one.
norajane Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 When you're 19 and living at home, you have to abide by the parents' rules. If he's having so much trouble dealing with it, perhaps he can have a mature conversation with them rather than just getting pissed off about it. If it's really just the timing of when they want him to clean his room or do laundry, then that's certainly something that can be worked out. His stepmom calling to know what he's doing and when he's coming home could have all kinds of reasons behind it. Maybe she wants to know so she doesn't worry that he's dead on the side of the road when he really doesn't even intend to be home until 2am; maybe she's wondering if she should include him in dinner; maybe she needs someone to pick something up at the store and if he'll be home soon, he can. Again, a calm discussion as an adult to determine why he's being questioned can go a long way to proving to them that he is an adult. When I started dating my former fiancee, he was living at home, and his parents would call me at 3 in the morning to find out if he was there (pre-cell phone days). Why? Because he would never leave a stupid little note telling them he'd be out late, and they were worried about him. They are parents. That's what they do. They worry.
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