lovestrucksweetie Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 K here's another one....sorry people but you are my only outlet.... K me and my boyfriend have been together since New Year's Day...and when we were first dating it was only the 2 of us goin to movies and doin alot of other things and friends were involved quite a bit too. Well we now live together in a basement suite and our friends live upstairs...and everything we do has to involve the friends..........several friends....when I ask if he wants to go for a movie he calls his friends to ask them to come or he'll say I can't afford when most of the time he can...all I want is like at least once a week or once every 2 weeks we can go out and do something fun.....but what i like doing he can't justify why he should spend his money on it or why he'd do it and so I do alot of stuff he likes to do.......anyways....that's not the point the point is thta i want some alone time with him outside of our place and no friends......so I don't know what to do......
mattea Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 i know that can be tough when one person is pretty much always up for group social stuff and the other one wants more time w/ just the two of you. at times my b/f and i are hanging out for the day and we run into some friends and he just invites them along, which can be frustrating. have you talked to him about this? w/ my b/f i just basically acknowledged that he is more extrovered and social and i like to socialize but am more introverted and also need more time with just the two of us. we've talked about this and agreed that we need to compromise - sometimes i go out with groups or friends even if i'd rather it just be the two of us, sometimes he makes times for dates with me or time to lay low at home and watch a movie with just the two of us. i think it's totally fair to ask him to compromise and do some of both.
norajane Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Maybe you could suggest doing something just the two of you that doesn't cost any money? It's summer, so there are often lots of free concerts in the park, and street fairs, or you can go to the beach and go swimming, or for bike rides, or a picnic with soda and sandwiches? Museums also usually have free days. If you're into movies, maybe you can suggest a matinee - an afternoon movie - tickets for the early shows cost a lot less than the shows at night. There's nothing wrong with wanting time alone together. I think you should just tell him that's what you want, rather than going in circles around the issue by asking him to do certain things and then just hope he doesn't invite anyone else. Does he have any idea you want time alone with him?
Recommended Posts