Ruff Ryder Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 After my break up I decided to do some reasearch on break-ups and how to avoid them. There is one guy David D where I think this tread started. He is the fore father of dating and attraction. A very simple statment that he makes is "attraction isnt a choice" If you meet a girl and she isnt attracted to you there is nothing you can do about it. However if you meet a girl and she does feel attraction for you there is nothing she can do about it. Attraction is yes very much the key part to all great relationships you dont have to be good looking to get a date just understand how attraction works. FJ shark also wrote a book on attraction and how it all works and his motive behind it is why do woman stay in abusive relationships???? ATTRACTION. The point here is that if she is attracted to you and looking to please you and make you happy she wont be looking at your flawes. I dont belive all that is true but the concept behind it is pretty powerfull stuff. Can you get an ex back YES how ATTRACTION if she was attracted top you then the chance that she will be again is high. Just do the right things. Do things that amplify attraction and not shut it down. Acting like a wuss is not attractive. Dressing dumb is not attractive. Ask a lady what she thinks if your belt doesnt match your shoes. The answer will be something you didnt expect. I know done it 100;s of times. The bottom line is every interaction you have with a woman she will be testing to see if you get it, she may not know this but she is doing it. If you have questions please ask I do love these type of chats.
Mary3 Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 After my break up I decided to do some reasearch on break-ups and how to avoid them. There is one guy David D where I think this tread started. He is the fore father of dating and attraction. A very simple statment that he makes is "attraction isnt a choice" If you meet a girl and she isnt attracted to you there is nothing you can do about it. However if you meet a girl and she does feel attraction for you there is nothing she can do about it. Attraction is yes very much the key part to all great relationships you dont have to be good looking to get a date just understand how attraction works. FJ shark also wrote a book on attraction and how it all works and his motive behind it is why do woman stay in abusive relationships???? ATTRACTION. The point here is that if she is attracted to you and looking to please you and make you happy she wont be looking at your flawes. I dont belive all that is true but the concept behind it is pretty powerfull stuff. Can you get an ex back YES how ATTRACTION if she was attracted top you then the chance that she will be again is high. Just do the right things. Do things that amplify attraction and not shut it down. Acting like a wuss is not attractive. Dressing dumb is not attractive. Ask a lady what she thinks if your belt doesnt match your shoes. The answer will be something you didnt expect. I know done it 100;s of times. The bottom line is every interaction you have with a woman she will be testing to see if you get it, she may not know this but she is doing it. If you have questions please ask I do love these type of chats. This is utter garbage. A women can be *attracted* to you but if you are a worthless loser, druggie or an abuser , after some time she is going to DUMP you . If she is weak and vulnerable she might stay around for whatever crap you dish out .. Hopefully she finds the strength to leave. But a strong women sees the crap earlier and promptly STOPS talking to you. Yes if there is a strong attraction and there are feelings involved its a little harder but if she keeps her eyes OPEN and looks at your behavior rather than your words, and if these two don't match , then she ( if she's smart ) gets out and quick ! And that is SERIOUS BULL CRAP that a women stays for abuse because she thinks you are handsome or cute. She stays because she has been manipulated and segregated from her family and friends , brainwashed into thinking she deserves nothing better and FEAR . Fear of leaving because the abuser threatens her. Take your book and put it in the dumpster. Enough of these garbage books. Go to a battered womens shelter and talk to these women. You apparently feel that women will tolerate abuse if they are attracted to you.
Outcast Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 Let's see. David D's Real name is (you'll love this) Eben Wind Pagan. No sign of him being married. FJ Shark. 36 and single. I guess if all you want out of life is to have girlfriend after girlfriend with no long-term love, commitment, or prospects for family, then maybe you should heed their advice. OTOH, if you hope to have a meaningful and fulfilling relationship, you probably best pay attention to people whose focus is on advising people how to find and keep life mates like John Gottman and John Gray and Willard Harley.
lindya Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 I always thought the only reason women left men was because of their man's body odor, regardless of what they said the reason was. It's no joke! I remember going out with a guy a few times. He was perfectly clean, but he just didn't have a natural smell I could cope with. The "reasons" for the breakup are merely the "symptoms"...the UNDERLYING cause is ALWAYS a lack of attraction, get it? So...how do you keep the attraction high? I understand what you're doing. You're trying to simplify that which is never simple...ie the blend of attraction, happiness and compatibility that keeps a relationship going. Leaving aside your presentation of an extremely shaky (and wholly unsubstantiated) supposition as some sort of indisputable fact, you're asking how to keep the attraction high. There is no formula. People change, their tastes and emotional needs change...and sometimes their friendships and romantic relationships have to change too. Trying to control the way in which another person evolves so that you can keep them in your life is futile. Trying to tailor the way you personally evolve in order to keep the attraction might work...but only if the person you're aspiring to be (ie for the sake of the relationship) is someone you would truly want to be. The games, seduction techniques, formulas etc....these all boil down to one thing. The need to feel in control, and to exercise power over another human being. Ironic, because it's precisely that desire to control another person that spells the demise for so many relationships.
Mary3 Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 It's no joke! I remember going out with a guy a few times. He was perfectly clean, but he just didn't have a natural smell I could cope with. I understand what you're doing. You're trying to simplify that which is never simple...ie the blend of attraction, happiness and compatibility that keeps a relationship going. Leaving aside your presentation of an extremely shaky (and wholly unsubstantiated) supposition as some sort of indisputable fact, you're asking how to keep the attraction high. There is no formula. People change, their tastes and emotional needs change...and sometimes their friendships and romantic relationships have to change too. Trying to control the way in which another person evolves so that you can keep them in your life is futile. Trying to tailor the way you personally evolve in order to keep the attraction might work...but only if the person you're aspiring to be (ie for the sake of the relationship) is someone you would truly want to be. The games, seduction techniques, formulas etc....these all boil down to one thing. The need to feel in control, and to exercise power over another human being. Ironic, because it's precisely that desire to control another person that spells the demise for so many relationships.[/QUOTE] Exactly Lindya !
Author thekhris Posted August 10, 2006 Author Posted August 10, 2006 agreed...when it said attraction we are not only talking about the physical aspects... lets say there is a hot chick very gorgeus,,then you learned that she farts every 20 seconds non stop...would you still be attracted to her? and lets say there is a hunk very handsome then you learned the he is wuss, so clumsy, lazy, still leave with his mom, no job and no dreams.. would you still be attracted to that handsome hunk? when we say attraction it is not only considered as a physical matter but also behavioural and emotional etc... a non good looking guy but funny and confident can be very attractive to girls...and vice versa a very handsome guy with jerky attitude can be NON attractive to females.. Exelent post thekhris by the way..awesome exactly good points!
Author thekhris Posted August 10, 2006 Author Posted August 10, 2006 After my break up I decided to do some reasearch on break-ups and how to avoid them. There is one guy David D where I think this tread started. He is the fore father of dating and attraction. A very simple statment that he makes is "attraction isnt a choice" If you meet a girl and she isnt attracted to you there is nothing you can do about it. However if you meet a girl and she does feel attraction for you there is nothing she can do about it. Attraction is yes very much the key part to all great relationships you dont have to be good looking to get a date just understand how attraction works. FJ shark also wrote a book on attraction and how it all works and his motive behind it is why do woman stay in abusive relationships???? ATTRACTION. The point here is that if she is attracted to you and looking to please you and make you happy she wont be looking at your flawes. I dont belive all that is true but the concept behind it is pretty powerfull stuff. Can you get an ex back YES how ATTRACTION if she was attracted top you then the chance that she will be again is high. Just do the right things. Do things that amplify attraction and not shut it down. Acting like a wuss is not attractive. Dressing dumb is not attractive. Ask a lady what she thinks if your belt doesnt match your shoes. The answer will be something you didnt expect. I know done it 100;s of times. The bottom line is every interaction you have with a woman she will be testing to see if you get it, she may not know this but she is doing it. If you have questions please ask I do love these type of chats. NIce post...
Ruff Ryder Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 I think there is a huge mis conception here, Some twit called my post crap. Well my question to him/her would be then why is the famous story of every abusive relationship the fact that the abused part wont leave the relationship???? People will answer fear now thats CRAP reason is if you know that every time you walk into a pub your going to be beatern up fear would make you stay away from the place not go into it. Lets be real here loads of posts are he is attractive, there is a diffrence between attractive and attraction, one is an attribute one person has and the other is a feeling that people get. Oh and David D and Fj shark, did you do more reashearch????? they are both very very wealthy and both promote long healthy relationships. I think the issue here is people here are just looking at the posts and not using any form of logic to see what is being said. Think about it is any girl in the world going to stay with a man if there is no attraction???? the answer is NO. So stop trying to analise every word being said here the fact is that without casusing attraction keeping attraction going and forming that into love there will be no relationship.
Mary3 Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 I think there is a huge mis conception here, Some twit called my post crap. Well my question to him/her would be then why is the famous story of every abusive relationship the fact that the abused part wont leave the relationship???? People will answer fear now thats CRAP reason is if you know that every time you walk into a pub your going to be beatern up fear would make you stay away from the place not go into it. Lets be real here loads of posts are he is attractive, there is a diffrence between attractive and attraction, one is an attribute one person has and the other is a feeling that people get. Oh and David D and Fj shark, did you do more reashearch????? they are both very very wealthy and both promote long healthy relationships. I think the issue here is people here are just looking at the posts and not using any form of logic to see what is being said. Think about it is any girl in the world going to stay with a man if there is no attraction???? the answer is NO. So stop trying to analise every word being said here the fact is that without casusing attraction keeping attraction going and forming that into love there will be no relationship. Again BS . Unless you had your head smashed against the wall after months of careful manipulation to get you to the point of allowing someone to hurt you and finally fearing for your life , then please stop posting how cool it is to be abused and how attracted women are to it.
Outcast Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 then why is the famous story of every abusive relationship the fact that the abused part wont leave the relationship??? Nothing about that statement is true. I suggest you do a little more research before you post things which you call 'facts' which in fact are not fact at all.
Ukwizard Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Thekhris, I wonder if you don`t mean why a woman leaves because of a lack of attraction, but perhaps a lack of attention. I ve seen this before with my best friends wife, and my ex-girlfriend. If you don`t pay enough attention to women, then they will leave. Lack of communication, leading to fustration, and your girlfriend or wife leaving as they feel unloved. Woman like to feel attended to. They want to feel special. Hell, I know this because my ex-girlfriend slept with a guy on the first date, because he paid her so many compliments, and she fell for it. I think she`s learned from that. When I was still talking to her she did tell me (not about sleeping with him) that he was very attentive. I was attentive too, but I think the distance killed our relationship. Anyway, I dont think lack of attraction has anything to do with it. It maybe in some instances, but what your saying that attraction is making how a womans leaves which ironically was the first thing that brought them together! Nah! I don`t agree with your statement. Other factors include being physical of mentally abusive, violence, alcohol, or cheating. I think your statement comes last. People do sometimes leave for someone else that is more attractive, but not always my friend.
Author thekhris Posted August 11, 2006 Author Posted August 11, 2006 Of corz..attention is one of the zillion ingridients in attraction... ex.im attracted to her bcoz she makes me feel good about myself.. if im looser and im with this certain girl and she will feel ashamed of being with me and that is not attractive not totaly being good about her self.. if were gonna discuss here all the elements of attraction it will take as dacade..
Ukwizard Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Hey, Thekhris. I don`t mind if it takes a decade to take about this lol:). I ve got all the time in the world. I kind of disagree with your statement thats all. I just think its bottom of the list why women leave. I dont think when you wake up with morning breath, your hair all over the place, and sleep in your eyes. Of course you`re not attractive, but it doesnt mean they will leave. The phrase lack of attraction like you said is one of the zillion ingridients in attraction... Maybe whay you mean is that she is `not attracted` to you anymore, and not the `lack of`. Then again, you started this debate. Hee hee
Ruff Ryder Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Firdt up, not once in any posy by me or others here have even come close to saying that its cool to be abusive to woman to get attraction, firstly that wont work and second its wrong. Again your looking at what is writen and not the overview. Attraction at the end of the day can make or break any relationship regaldless of what your opione is and what you think. This is based on years of study 100000 of experiments and 1000's od DR pdh phils working on the human mind and all that. Thisis not my or thekris oppion it is what is writen in the laws of attraction and how it works. Yes sure I see how it can look but we not talking about being abusive here we are saying that if there was no attraction the person in the relationship would have never started on or stayed in one. You are again looking into this at the wrong angle WITHOUT ATTRACTION THERE WILL BE NO RELATIONSHIP that is the bottom line think about it. Would you walk up to and talk to and entre into a relationship with any girl/boy without liking what they say getting along with them and thinking they valuger? If you answered yes you need medical help. think about it again ATTRACTION IS THE KEY TO ANY RELATIONSHIP
mboston1 Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 I completely agree with your post. But I think a better term than attraction woud be "interest level"
Ruff Ryder Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Yea you are 100% correct attraction intreast level communication personality class style are just a few things that make up the wierd and wonderful thing called attraction.
john1776 Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Thekhris, I wonder if you don`t mean why a woman leaves because of a lack of attraction, but perhaps a lack of attention. I ve seen this before with my best friends wife, and my ex-girlfriend. If you don`t pay enough attention to women, then they will leave. Lack of communication, leading to fustration, and your girlfriend or wife leaving as they feel unloved. Woman like to feel attended to. They want to feel special. Hell, I know this because my ex-girlfriend slept with a guy on the first date, because he paid her so many compliments, and she fell for it. I think she`s learned from that. When I was still talking to her she did tell me (not about sleeping with him) that he was very attentive. I was attentive too, but I think the distance killed our relationship. Anyway, I dont think lack of attraction has anything to do with it. It maybe in some instances, but what your saying that attraction is making how a womans leaves which ironically was the first thing that brought them together! Nah! I don`t agree with your statement. Other factors include being physical of mentally abusive, violence, alcohol, or cheating. I think your statement comes last. People do sometimes leave for someone else that is more attractive, but not always my friend. Actually smothering and suffocating your girlfriend will drive her away faster than not being attentive enough. I don't think any woman is attracted to a guy who calls more than two times per day everyday or who buys her flowers every week or every month or a guy who is overly apologetic. You can also smother your woman by telling her how crazy you are about her and saying "I love you" too many times per day. She's going to think you don't have a life outside the relationship. She's going to think you are obsessed with her and can't live without her. In most cases smothering her with your presence and gifts and spending every waking minute together for 2-3 nights in a row is going to taper off the attraction. She'll get bored with you and want out. If you want to keep a woman in your life then give her the gift of missing you. You'll run into less arguments and conflicts that way. Show her that you don't need her in your life and that you'll get along with yourself just fine with or without her. Women are not attracted to men who act like lost puppies and that's exactly what a smothering man is doing.
2020vision Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Why Women Leave Men? Being a woman, I can honestly say that there is not ONE reason women leave men. Women leave men for multiple reasons, just like men leave women...This is a ridiculous thread. I understand what you're doing. You're trying to simplify that which is never simple...ie the blend of attraction, happiness and compatibility that keeps a relationship going. I totally agree! But the OP gets an A for effort!
Author thekhris Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 I completely agree with your post. But I think a better term than attraction woud be "interest level" yup exactly.. the big question on why are those people still pusue the person who leave them... is it bcoz REJECTION DOUBLES INTEREST LEVEL...
norajane Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 They lose respect for the guy They discover he's an ass They can't deal with his burping and farting They see that he treats people badly They notice he never opens a book They see that he's a lazy bum who prefers to sit on the couch all day They realize he doesn't keep his promises They see that he doesn't care about her happiness They realize that he lies They learn that he cheats They discover he's irresponsible They realize he's a misogynist and doesn't respect women They see he uses people They find out he's an abuser They realize he's emotionally dull, distant, or withdrawn They realize he's an uncaring, ungenerous lover They discover he's selfish and self-centered They realize they have nothing in common They see that he's not affectionate They see that he flirts with other women They realize they don't trust him They realize this isn't the man they want to marry or have children with They realize he'll never commit and so much more!
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 I think it goes alot deeper than just losing attraction. Women can be losing attraction because of how these men are treating them. It all depends honestly you never know when those feelings could just vanish. If a man were to beat his girl up no matter how stunning he was, I think if she stays with him is not because she is still attracted to him but because their are other underlying problems. I reversed some part of that hope it makes sense
whir Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 I think it goes alot deeper than just losing attraction. Women can be losing attraction because of how these men are treating them. It all depends honestly you never know when those feelings could just vanish. If a man were to beat his girl up no matter how stunning he was, I think if she stays with him is not because she is still attracted to him but because their are other underlying problems. I reversed some part of that hope it makes sense man i think they discuss that issue already... Attraction is not based on physical appearance only.. but its more on the personality that carries the attraction.. so its the same if there is a problem to the personality they will be a lack of attraction or no attraction at all..so its the same ending...lack of attraction makes woman leave men..
Pink Amulet Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Just thought I would be the first one here to let you know Brittany Jean, apart from having a great smile (as previously noted) you have fantastic tits
Adunaphel Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 In a way, it's true that when a woman dumps a man it all comes down to attraction. - she is no longer attracted to him - she is still attracted to him, but not enough to put up with bad behaviour, or relationship problems they might be having, or differences of personality/lifestyle/goals in life - she is attracted to him, but she is more attracted to someone else.
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