Guest Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 been goin out with my gf for 5 yrs, and things getting a bit stale but I still love her. recently met someone socially, who isn't single but unhappy in her relationship, we really click, exchange flirty texts and she could potentially be the love of my life and im constantly thinking of her, although I've not said anything to her. I dont want to cheat or act inappropriately towards my gf, so the question is this: is it worth the gamble of splitting up with my gf then telling this new girl how I feel, risking her not feeling the same and ending up with nothing, or do I settle for what I've got??
rina_r Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 If you still love her then why split? You know, life is not a never ending party, and relationships need to be worked on. I dont know, maybe I grew up already, but I do notlook for endless fun in a relationship, more like respect, stability and security.
littlekitty Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 we really click, exchange flirty texts and she could potentially be the love of my life and im constantly thinking of her, although I've not said anything to her. Then you've already acted inappropriately towards your girlfriend IMHO. Sending flirty texts to another women isn't exactly respectful towards your current gf is it now? If you're bored and want out.. then get out. Otherwise I think you need to knock this new 'friendship' on the head and respect your girlfriend. Is it her fault things are stale? Are you doing anything to inject some spice into your relationship? If you really want to see how things go with this other girl, then I think you need end it with your girlfriend immediately as you are already acting in a way that would be hurtful to her no doubt. Yes you could lose a great relationship and things might not work out with the other girl, but that's a risk you're going to have to take.
typical Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 You know how that old adage goes about the grass on the other side of the fence... It only appears that this girl is exciting because she is new. Once the newness wears thin, could you still say the same? I dont want to cheat or act inappropriately towards my gf Its a little too late for that, what with the flirty texts and all. I bet your GF knows nothing about her either, which is telling. she could potentially be the love of my life and im constantly thinking of her, although I've not said anything to her. Oh, I am sure she has a pretty good idea where things are headed. You know it, she knows it, too bad the SO's dont....yet anyway.. This: been goin out with my gf for 5 yrs, and things getting a bit stale but I still love her. Compounded with this: recently met someone socially, who isn't single but unhappy in her relationship and this: exchange flirty texts and this: and she could potentially be the love of my life and im constantly thinking of her has the potential to severely damage the lives of the SO's that are involved. It seems that things are going to take a curve towards cheating, maybe not physically....yet....but emotionally for sure.....Do your GF a favor and talk with her about this. There is no way you can go on exploring the soon to be OW without things getting out of hand. Because it is going to get out of hand, for sure. There is no reason to cheat...dont be a coward, either break up with GF or stay put, but if you chose to stay, you would be best not to continue a friendship with this other girl. rina and littlekitty had great advice.....as rina states, "life is not a never ending party".... and one cannot expect to be entertained all the damn time. Thats what the TV is for. Something I wonder...is this: she could potentially be the love of my life and im constantly thinking of her How you felt about your GF when you first met her too???
john2776 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 I think you should leave your GF and then go chase 'the grass in greener' girl. I don't see any down side. You might get another 5 years of good times with the new girl (and this appeals to you) You can repeat this for maybe another 20 years but then you might want to consider settling down. Personally I would swap over at the 4 year mark, as the 5th year is a bit tedious don't you think?
ShoeGirl Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 I heard this quote a while back, I don't know where I heard it but I think it makes perfect sense, "Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love" In the end it is up to you what you do, but if you love your current girlfriend and can see a future with her, then stay with her. Good luck!
Love_the_Loni Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Yes, you should probably breakup with your gf if you are starting to have feelings for someone else. I am sure you love your gf--how couldn't you after 5 yrs? But do you love your gf in a I want to marry you, spend forever with, grow old with, have kidswith kind of way? If not, this may be a good time to move on. I know it will be tough, really tough, to break off a 5 year relationship, but imagine how much tougher it will be once you are married, or have kids and then decide you are not happy. This new girl may not be the one for you in the long run, but there are tons of ladies out there--bound to be one who won't make you look elsewhere and provides the stability, respect, etc...good luck!
allina Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 been goin out with my gf for 5 yrs, and things getting a bit stale but I still love her.................................................................................... do I settle for what I've got?? Do you see the contradiction here? It doesn't sound liek you love her at all.
Violet87 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Its your choice. If you are starting to have feelings for someone else and truly don't think the relationship with your gf will work, then you should end it with your gf. Sit her down and tell her, you don't think it'll work out. Be honest, however I think it's best that you leave out the details of you texting and flirting with this other girl. Are you sure that you want to risk potentially damaging your relationship with your gf for good. This other girl may or may not be the love of your life, but that's the risk you'll have to take if you continue seeing her. As the old saying goes, the grass is not always greener on the other side. After the newness and the excitement wears off, would you still be into this girl or would you long for someone else (even your old gf).
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