Guest Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I've been SO good about NC for over six months now. Break up was terrible and messy, both us seemed destroyed by it. I've been finally moving on, getting counseling and starting to try to get myself back on track. I still think of him every day and miss him, but my rational voice has been getting louder and louder, reminding me that he was abusive, destroyed my self-esteem and I should feel lucky to be out. He started dating someone else two weeks after our breakup and that sent me reeling...still. I cut off contact with his friends, many of whom agreed he is selfish, has issues and was not good to me--or to anyone. Any information about him, or reminders, was just upsetting me too much. Even though he was with someone new, he told others he was sad and missed me, but with no contact to me, ever. The girl he began dating was someone I knew of, had met briefly once, and whom everyone said was a rebound, but it seemed weird that they hooked up so fast. Because my self-esteem was so shot by the end of the relationship, it was just salt in an open wound and I can't let it go. This whole time of NC I just can't stop thinking that while I am trying to heal, feeling such pain, he's been with someone else this whole time and hasn't given me a thought. After three years together. It sucks to think he could just replace me! And not ever once check in on me to see if I am ok....to let me know he cared, even as a friend, knowing how upsetting the breakup was for us both. THEN I heard through a friend that he contacted her the other day.....after years, looking to get in touch. This is our only connection, our only mutual acquaintance, and he knows she is close to me still. It has just sent me back to square one, having any news of him at all. I'm sad, lonely for him, DYING to call him, totally depressed he has never contacted me. I can't GIVE UP THE HOPE that he will one day call. If he did, I know I would cave, which wouldn't be good, but this still hurts. And having him rear his head, albeit to someone else, has just thrown me off track. When will this stop? When will I be able to move on and let him go, knowing how bad he was for me??
Recommended Posts