johnnytable Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Sometimes I think that coming to these forums actually hurts my recovery. It has been two months and I am not over my ex (nor do I expect to be in this amount of time) but I wonder if coming here is actually a way for me to keep the connection to my ex alive. I can read other stories to see how the ex might be doing, feeling, or what she might do. I'm not sure that this is helping. On the otherhand, I have advice to give to people. Not only does this hopefully help them, it also helps me since it is a lot easier to stick to your guns when you are giving the same advice to others. So for those of you with thousands of posts. Are you here because you are still in pain, or are you here because you simply like helping other people? I have noticed that my posting has changed from asking for help in a hurting situation to giving help to others in similiar situations. Perhaps this is part of the healing process. JohnnyTable
Outcast Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 because you simply like helping other people I prefer to not be a waste of space on the planet. This is one way (I tell myself) that I'm not.
KittenMoon Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I know people trash the Net alot for being impersonal, but how is this much different than in the old days when people didn't see each other for years and years, and just wrote letters. Everybody needs to connect with others in some way. Most of us do in reali life as well, but anonymity can be a good thing as well.
Brittjean06 Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I guess you can say I am here because yes I am still hurting. Will I just leave this site when I am 100% healed. I doubt that. I'll have other problems to vent about any way haha jk. Though my advice is not the most intellectual advice given here I still try and still enjoy putting some sense in peoples heads. As I type all that I say I always say to my self " how can I be so supportive and couraging about my advice when I can't even tell my self all this stuff.
In Sync Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 So for those of you with thousands of posts. Are you here because you are still in pain, or are you here because you simply like helping other people? I started out as a person in need and was given support and advice and now that I feel stronger I feel like returning the favor. I noticed that the more I stopped focusing onmy circumstance and helping others it helped take my focus off my problems..there's something about listening to (or should I say reading) another person in need of comfort or advice that makes me understand maybe my problems are small. It stops me from becoming so self-centered and if I can motivate someone to feel better or confident then it's a good thing. It's too easy to forget I was once at rock bottom when I first got here...so until I one day say 'Enough' I have no qualms about offering my 2 cents...
Craig Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I came here for some answers and found some ideas. I stay because maybe, just maybe something (even one thing) I say will make a difference for someone and that someone can make a difference for someone else some day. And so on, and so on... Also, I want to learn as much as I can about having a rewarding, healthy relationship as I can. Reading the posts, posting sometimes, seems to be helping me along that path. Though I'm not there yet, I am getting stronger all the time and understanding more and more about what I want, what will make me happy, what I need to do, etc. I also read alot and do that strange thing called thinking when I have the time to really ponder some of the things I've been exposed to here on LS.
Ariadne Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Hi, Are you here because you are still in pain, or are you here because you simply like helping other people? I don't have thousands of posts, but I've been going to another forum also where I do have thousands of posts. I am here because I'm still in pain, and "finally" I find people that I can relate to. Everyone else I know that is not brokenhearted, either gets upset at me because I'm not over yet, or I simply don't want pester them too much about my heartbreak anyway. For some time I had to take a break from this place. When I was at the bottom of despair. Because I'd get a pain in the stomach every time I read a thread of someone going through the pains of a heartbreak. But same as the other forum, I remained there because of the people. I made a bunch of online friends that way (that I still write to regularly) and I felt like I knew the people in the forum from reading their stories. I enjoyed being a part of the group. Ariadne
riobikini Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 re: JohnnyT: " So for those of you with thousands of posts. Are you here because you are still in pain, or are you here because you simply like helping other people? " I'm not hurting. I'm actually very happy now. And I like helping others. Like you. (Smile) -Rio
johan Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I'm here for the following reasons: I like to help. I like some people here as friends. Not everything here is heavy and therapeutic, sometimes it's just conversation. I like to be a smartass, and some of the topics are a great outlet for that. I like to see that others face the same issues I face. I am single and don't really like it. I have things to learn about relationships, and I'm waiting for someone with some insight to finally log in and teach me something. I like to see that I'm actually relatively healthy, even when I don't feel like it. I like to see my own thoughts reflected to me from others, so that I can see myself from another perspective. This shade of pink is very appealing, and I like how they've accented it with that burnt red color. It's good for my ego and confidence when I lay something out there and it gets accepted. I'm bored. I have a hibernating social life. Blind_otter needs me. So does Outcast, even though she wouldn't admit it. Some of the chicks have hot avatars. Touche doesn't need me, but I like to inflict myself on her anyway. Other smart-ass/sarcastic/ironic people such as b4r, westernxer, and magichands, and the UK contingent have brought some humor to brighten the place up. I have some real connections here with people I wouldn't have known existed otherwise, and that's a good thing.I've arranged with a bookie to place bets on who gets banned and when. (Some of you are costing me money, dammit.)
fireflywy Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I just like seeing what new picture Pink Amulet puts up as her avatar. j/k. (btw: if that is you, let me honestly say, and with all sincerity, that you're a beautiful woman) I like reading from everyone's insight. One of these days, I'll be moving up to the dating section! woohoo!
Brittjean06 Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Its also a very enlightening feeling when you have advice that is more than supportive but understanding. People who give you advice and firmly tell you that you will get through this, trust me. Great feeling! P:s I think my typing skills are gradually getting better. Yay! haha
littlekitty Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I didn't come here because I was hurting!! I was looking for possible ideas on how to handle my SO's ex (baby mother), but I wasn't in a bad situation with my own relationship. In fact the reason I stayed was that I feel I'm finally in a wonderful relationship where things are as they should be. I've been through a lot in love to get here, some very strange situations and a lot of pain. I feel that I can give something back and help others possibly avoid some of the pain I suffered or at least help them through it.
Pink Amulet Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Thanks fireflywy. In reference to my display pics, I have likened it with a relationship anaology... LS was like a new man in my life. Like any relationship, I let the man first see me as a flawless 'model'. Every meeting, I look immaculate and properly 'airbrushed'. As he starts to value my conversation, and particular personailty traits, I no longer have to woo him with my looks, so I show him the real me. Daggy me, hanging out with friends, no make up, unmanicured hair etc. LS is becoming like a steady boyfriend Great post btw Johan- especially 20
wonderingmind Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I don't have thousands of posts, but... I came here because I was jealous and insecure. Well, that's what he said, anyway. And that was a first; nobody had ever said those words to me before. So I did search after search, looking for people with experiences involving jealousy and insecurity, trying to find a commonality with myself. And I found page after page of people just like me. Was I jealous? Yep. Insecure? Oh, yeah. Not only that, I found sound advice, much of which I put into action. Am I still jealous and insecure? A little. But what I've learned is the importance of communication and how to do it. I will be forever thankful to the Shack for that. I'm a better person. And, if there's a way I can share some of the love along the way, by golly I'm gonna do it!
Recommended Posts