2001Acura Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 So I've been seeing this woman since April steadily. The first week of June '06 her father (whom she lived with) passed away unexpectedly. Completely unexpectedly. Btw, she had a really close relationship with her father and since her parents were divorced, she doesn't have much of a relationship with her mother. We continued to see each other and I tried to be supportive as she begins to grieve and work through the emotional trauma of losing THE most important person in her life. We'll, everything is going fine and she seems like she's doing well, them BAM! She stops calling me, won't see me and says the loss of her father has her so emotionally confused, she can't think straight. I pretty much went NC and 9 days later as fast as she disappeared, she reappeared, sending me txt messages and doing everything she could to get in touch with me. So we agree to begin working things back out last Wed. and five days later (Sunday night), she pulls it on me again, though at least she talked to me about it, before she did the Whodini(sp?) act. She says she needs time to try and sort through her emotions and get her life straight. Now, since Sunday, she's called four times, including once Monday AM, twice yesterday and once this morning. I answered all but today. Now I'm going back to NC! A couple questions for ya'll! 1. She left some clothes and other things at my house, including her tooth brush on my bathroom sink. She removed everything else from the sink that belonged to her, but she leaves this for me to stare at everyday? What the hell ya'll? 2. Her birthday is Sunday (8/6)! Originally we were gonna go on a trip to help get her mind off her dad, siince this would be her first birhday w/o him, now it appears I'm going by myself. With the major change in her life, I feel like I need to do something for her birthday, but I'm not sure what to do. Your advice is appreciated!
wintercs Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Wow that's a tough one. First, let me tell you that you're going to have people give you advice, but you're the only one that knows her the best...take the advice as you want it, but remember that there's nothing that says you have to take the advice. That being said, I would recommend that you maybe drop off a nice card and maybe a small boquet of "cheery flowers" (no roses) on her birthday before she wakes up or something (as in don't give them to her in person). In the card, maybe write something to the effect of "I hope you have a Happy Birthday! If you ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen" or something like that. I'm personally for being there for your gal, even though she broke things off with you. Some people will tell you to forget about it and leave her be, but I think something like this shows that you care and puts the ball in her court . Birthdays are a tough subject to navigate around, but hopefully everything will turn out fine for you. Good luck.
Author 2001Acura Posted August 3, 2006 Author Posted August 3, 2006 Unfortunately, I'm gonna be out of town Sunday morning! You think I should send a txt saying the same, or considering the circumstances is that too impersonal? I could also send flowers to her work on Friday, something small, like a potted plant or something too! Im a little disturbed a/b giving her the wrong impression, which is "that I'll be here no matter what you do....walk all over me, etc" by sending her anything. What does it say to her if I send or say nothing on her birthday?
wintercs Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Hmm I don't really know what it "says" if you do nothing. Someone else will probably give you a better idea of what message you'll be sending. If you're going to be out of town, maybe calling her and just wishing her a happy birthday would work. If I were in your shoes, I don't think that I'd send anything to her work - I think that would miss the mark. Like I said before, you're the one the knows the most about your girl and your situation - think long and hard about how you want to handle this. In second thought, maybe you could play off not sending anything. Maybe you should explain more about her and your relationship with her. How close were you emotionally? Did you do lots of "sweet" (that's how they describe it) things for her? If so, how did she react? I'm signing off so I won't be able to answer immediately, but I'll be sure to check tomorrow for your response.
BeHappy Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 call her and wish her a happy birthday... she is confuse...
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