skylight Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 My boyfriend who lives with me has debts which I did not know about before he moved in. He is struggling to pay them off and therefore hardly has any disposable income. He recently asked if I would remortgage my house and lend him about £15,000 (its my house in my name, he's been living with me less than 2 years). This would greatly reduce his monthly payments and he said he would pay most of the mortgage. He is self employed with an unstable income however. He wanted us to remortgage jointly so that we could also borrow more money to do home improvements and said he would do much of the work himself as he works in the trade and has already done some work on the house (although my parents paid for the materials), to make up for the loan. He gets quite agitated when I refuse to do this, saying this is the only way we will have a better future and he persists with this reason frequently and I feel that he is pressuring me into doing it. I resent him asking me to do this because I have been careful with my money and have managed to buy my house despite being a single parent and his debts are not my fault, and if I remortgage with him he will be entitled to half my house and its equity and I will be jointly responsible for paying off the £15,000 of his debts that remortgaging will provide. I feel I have helped him out by letting him live with me; he was struggling to manage his rent etc before. He is very optimistic that we can do this and be better off but I am reluctant as obviously he has not managed his money well in the past. What should I do? Any suggestions?
laRubiaBonita Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 DO NOT DO IT! first, he lied about his debts, and how do you really know that he has told you the whole truth about the extent of his debts? second, unless you are married or basically common law marriage, or a parent DO not refinance your Home and give Him the Money..... you are giving him your home. and if he defaults, it means YOU default, and YOU lose your house...... he just loses his place to stay.
Outcast Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 NONONONONONONONONONONONONONNONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! If he continues to be petulant about it, drop him, because it's your money he wants. Do NOT give in or you will regret it.
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it! You have good credit and a roof over your head. God forbid, you could lose it all and take years to recover (if ever). You've only been together for two years, and already he's proven to be financially irresponsible … and now he wants his name on the deed of your house so he can piss away the equity that he had no part in contributing to!!?? If he can't even pay off his own dept, and his income is unstable, how can he make any promises to meet the mortgage payments? I can see the foreclosure sign and your property up for bank auction, already. Please, don't love dumb. It's nervy of him to even ask that you take that kind of risk for him given his situation, even worse that he would get agitated when you pause to take you and your children's own welfare into account. If he continues to pressure you, then you can bet you have a freeloader on your hands looking for a sugar momma to take care of him. And if he gets angry enough to leave … then count your lucky stars. It's a whole hellava lot easier to recover from heartbreak without the added resentment of having to file chapter eleven. Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it!
tinktronik Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Not just no but HELL NO . DO NOT EVER EVER EVER do it. Please take everyones advice.
Craig Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 No, of course, is the right answer but there is something disturbing about him even asking. I've personally known of another woman that did this with her bf in almost the same circumstances and situation as you. The similarities are amazing. It didn't work out well at all and no good came of it.
superconductor Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Bad, baaaaaaad idea. Love him if you must, but keep your finances completely separate.
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