Getting sick of my shyness

[Scoop88]

Hi,

 

Im an 18 year old male and will be going off to college in the next few weeks. Well, Im looking for some advice. My whole life, I have always been a shy kid and people view me as a shy person. Especially now that Im off to college, I am looking to change this trait. It will be a new place with a completely different group of people that havn't grown up viewing me as a shy guy. Ive been working on becoming more of a sociable person and have made some good progress, mainly coming from this year. Ive even done karaoke on stage at a theme park. Still Im not to where I want to be. I know this will take time, but Im still looking for some help.

Ive got a large group of friends that I spend a lot of time with. When in groups, I am far from the most social person in the group (thats not really my goal) but I am still overcome with some shyness. I think that its easier for me to be more outgoing in groups because it is much easier for me to get things to talk about because everyones input makes it that much easier to relate and say something back.

My bigger problem resides mainly in 1v1 conversations or conversations with very few people. When I speak with one other person, I have trouble carrying a conversation. We may speak about 1 or 2 topics and not really go into much depth, so the conversation either ends quickly or sort of gets awkward. If im riding in a car or are stuck by them (not in a bad way), there are usually long silences. I always see other people that are together and they are able to just keep speaking to each other for a long time. That is what I would like to be able to do.

One more thing about me is that Ive never had a girlfriend and never have been kissed. I know that this isnt bad, and i just never really had an interest until this year. This bothers me a little now because I almost got into a relationship with a girl I really liked. I knew she liked me and all I really had left to do was ask her out. But my shyness overtook me and I got nervous and talked even less than I already do. So the relationship really ended before it was able to take off.

Overall, I think I usually just dont know what to say. Sure you can say anything, but nothing really comes to my head. When people talk about things, more often than not I dont really have much that I can contribute. I often dont have much knowledge of the music, tv shows, or movies, etc that people bring up. Ive often heard of what they bring up but I dont know anything about them. Any tips here of where you all get your discussion topics and sources of info?

Ill take any advice. Im not really sure what I need to focus on to help move my personality to where I want it to be.

 

Thanks in advance for any advice. It really means a lot to me.

Scoop88

 

ps- this is a sweet smiley

[MsArtful]

It sounds like you don't have a lot of common interests with your friends, which is kind of important. Ask your friends, or other people if they like or do something that you like. You're probably just unique, so its hard for you to relate. I'd suggest going channel surfing once in a while and watch something that catches your interest. I find that a TV show is a really good way to get a conversation going. Don't go and watch something that you're not interested in, just to fit in though - you're an individual and you rock!

I used to be really shy, and one day I read somewhere that if you act confident, eventually you will be confident. The next day I walked into school, shoulders back head up, and I have done so ever since - i'm a lot more sociable these days. Be friendly and confident and people will be drawn to you.

 

Good luck!