alwayswondering Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 I have this huge problem. A friend of mine is going to visit her brother that lives at the beach for 4 days and invited me to come. She was going whether I went or not but since I had no vacation plans this year, I decided to go. Well, few days after that, my best friends I grew up with decided to go to the beach for 7 days the very next week and booked the condo and called me and told me to come. WE go every year but have not been able to go together in the last 3 years although we have tried. Due to how close they are, I can't do both with work and money and all that. I am absolutely heartbroken I can't go and so are my friends. My friend says she would understand if I cancelled with her since there is no money involved, just a $100 plane ticket for me, and she would still go since she was going anyway and has been alone before. I just feel bad. I want to go with my old friends so bad and the though of not going breaks my heart. But I don't want to be a bad friend to my other friend who I originally made plans with. I don't know if she is just saying she understands or not. I don't want to lose our friendship and I am scared she would hold it against me forever if I cancelled or think I chose them over her kind of thing. I would feel guilty about it. She was going to get another friend to go instead, which would solve everything but tickets are no longer on sale and they won't let me give my ticket to anyone else. What should I do? Help!!
tanbark813 Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 I wouldn't go so far as to say terrible but it's pretty lame to cancel on someone you made plans with first to make plans with someone who asked second. Not only are you choosing your old friends over your current one, but even at the expense of losing the $100 ticket. I guess it ultimately depends on how close you are with your current friend, which you didn't really specify. If she's currently your best friend and you guys are really close, I wouldn't cancel if I were you. But if she's just an acquaintence then she's more likely to understand and it doesn't matter as much if it does hurt the friendship. I'm guessing she will look at it as you choosing them over her. It's up to you if you're okay with that.
The slayer Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 It's a difficult situation. I think you should talk it through honestly with your friend. If you really want to be with your old friends the danger is that on some level you might resent her a bit and feel as if you are going away with her out of a sense of obligation rather than because you want to. If I was your friend I would probably prefer it if you cancelled, rather than came away with me out of a sense of duty, especially if I was happy to be by myself. In fact I would rather be by myself than be with someone who was there because they felt they had to be. Why dont you talk to her, tell her how much going away with your old friends mean to you and ask her if she would mind if you didn't come after all. As long as you have covered your fare I would suggest that if she is a true friend, she won't hold it against you.
Recommended Posts