Sup Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 didnt want to start a new thread.....and didnt have any place to put this... but it kinda relates to what OP says about feeling unwanted...sorta... So... I am taking the kids and one of their friends for the weekend of camping....my wife is staying home. Something I do a couple times a year. So last night I had to mow the lawn, pack all the camp gear, pack the food, clothes, make dinner, give kids a bath, etc.... Now my wife stated earlier in the week that she was going to go watch her friends game but then come home after becasue she "wont see us all weekend". Well, 8 pm came and I get a call.....she says everyone is hanging out, so I am going to stay too, be home around 9 oclock so we can spend some time together before bed. 10 pm comes around...then 10:30 and she strolls in like nothing happened. So I gave a little cold shoulder and she asked why this morning. I told her, ya know you said you would come home early to be with us before we leave. I said, it would have been nice if you were here to help me plus the fact that you are getting 2 free nights. She didnt see my point and her response was, I see you guys every day. Now the thing I tried to point out was my dissappointment....i wish she would see my side.... I told her...i wouldnt even consider going out with friends the night before I was about to get a free weekend. My thought pattern would be, hey I got Fri and Sat, i will stay home Thurs to be with my W and kids. And I told her, that if i did it, she would feel the same way I did...dissappointed. I dunno, its actions like these that reinforce her selfish side.....and she agreed she would be upset if i went out the night before a free weekend.....but the problem is i have to explain it to her afterwards, in way that if it were turned around, she would be upset too. Her standard response was...I will try harder. I want her to think BEFORE her actions.....aaarrgggg anyway....maybe I am over reacting??? NO! I hope that old saying "once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater" is not true in your case. I'm not assuming anything though.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 I don't think she realizes how serious it is. She's even mentioned numerous times that she has problems but she never does anything about it. She thinks that i'll always be around no matter what. Truth is, I won't. Sil- My ex too didn't seem to take me seriously. He either thought that I COULDN'T leave him or that I WOULDN'T or that no one else would want me. Truth is, there are lots of great guys out there who would love to have someone who treats them like I treat my man. I even told him I'd have an affair or leave him if he didn't start investing in our marriage and it didn't wake him up. I asked repeatedly for marriage counseling. When I started packing he took me seriously- by that point it was too late. Don't wait until it gets too late. Perhaps telling her how you feel or what happened with the girl would help. She's be pissed no doubt but it might open her eyes up. I know how you feel, times 13 years worth- and don't wait. Start packing now while you still care if you need to to wake her up. Whatever it takes. I'm like WWIU- it breaks my heart to see ya like this.
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