sad_ally Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 Dear all Just needing some support, advice, etc from people who are experiencing the same hurt and might understand what i'm going through. I've been with my boy for over 4.5 years. We moved in together about 10 months ago. We're best friends, share everything with eachother. He's a bit younger than me (we got together on his 21st birthday, I was 26 - now I'm 31 and he's 25) so for the first couple of years he was quite needy, that was when he was more into me than I was to him. Over the past couple of years, the roles reversed and I became quite reliant on him, for stuff like social events (he's a musician so lots of gigs, meeting friends through that etc), also for emotional support etc etc. Our relationship has been fairly volatile, thats more down to me than him. I can get angry and very impatient and that's often put pressure on the relationship. However, I've also been tremendously supportive, helped him with his debts, just basically helped to organise his life and been there for him every step of the way. As i say, we're best friends. We adored eachother. We had a few times where we were close to breaking up over various reasons but never seriously. He's never been interested in any other girl, he's just not that way inclined. Over a month ago, we had a big arguement, started by me - and the next day he said he didnt know if he could go on anymore, that he was exhausted and although he still loved me, didnt know if it was right. I begged him to think again and we went on for another month, he didnt say anymore - until 2 weeks ago when we had another long talk and he said his feelings had changed and we couldnt continue. I left the house to go back to my parents for a week, during that week he got mugged and beaten up, he rang me at my parents at 2.30am to tell me. He also was still in contact. I've been back in the house since saturday before last and he's gone through phases of being affectionate to recently being mroe distant. We're still trying to sort out about moving out of our rented house although he seems to be leaving this to organise a bit. When we finally move out (I'm hoping this will be next couple of weeks although it'll be so hard to move out) he's going to live at his cousin's for peace quiet and to get his head together, I'm going to go to my parents. Everyone keeps saying stop being so needy and give him the chance to miss me - he might see what he's missing. It makes sense but its so difficult. We are sleeping in the same bed, he sleeps facing away from me - I have about 3/4 hours sleep a night, i'm practically living on a couple of bananas a day. There's so much about this that has devastated me. I don't see any way I can ever feel happy again. I thought this was the person I'd be with forever. He said he won't change his mind about it but he said who knows in the future - things could change and he would never say never where I was concerned. At the moment, I don't know what to do. Does it seem like there's any hope of reconciliation sometime down the line? Any help, advice, friendship offered would be so so so good at the moment. Love xx
tearful_soul22 Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 In this situation, think about what you would lose and what you would gain by staying in the relationship or by leaving. You probably need some "alone time" to sort out your feelings and by not being in any relationship you can decide what is best for "YOU" Who knows something might happen eventually down the road or you might realize that the breakup works best for you. Either way, try to decide what you truly honestly want, and then act on that. Take care and good luck!
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