Chinook Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 My breakup was two years ago. Limited contact since... to remain friends. That wasn't working. No contact mode for one month now. It seems to be working. My question is for how long..? Right now, I'm feeling quite "stable" and fairly "numb". Is this normal...? I've been on the rollercoaster for the last two years of being okay one week and in fits of despair the next. Right now, I'm hoping this "numbness" is an upswing in the healing process. But I'm not sure. I feel just about "okay". Fragile but okay. I don't want to question it too closely just now because I'm scared of it dissolving into despair again. What do you guys think..? Could it be the road to recovery rather than just another swing on the rollercoaster..? Is it probably too early to say yet..? (sigh)
superconductor Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 You're recovering. It would have been easier if you had done NC immediately after the breakup, but you obviously can't change that. How long it will take is entirely dependent on many factors, not all of which are under your own control. Best way to continue to heal, at least in my experience, is to stay connected with friends (not your ex) when you feel yourself slipping into heartbreak again. There will be more ups and downs, but you'll probably notice that the downs won't be nearly as bad, and you'll recover quicker.
Author Chinook Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 Ahh, SC thanks for that. I think just this one time, I needed to hear "light at end of tunnel". It feels okay. I'm surprised with myself. I was thinking about the ex this morning when I thought "so how do I really feel about him..?" and I surprised myself because that's when I realised I felt numb. Can't honestly say I felt "nothing" because I doubt that will ever be true... but I didn't feel despair and I didn't feel low. I just felt numb. Weird. The initial NC wasn't a possibility really. We'd been together a long long time and had legal issues to sort out with my house (which are more or less sorted out now - just awaiting paperwork). So, hopefully, it will long continue.
KittenMoon Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 Don't forget you're dealing with a jumble of stuff Chin- not just your ex but your health and your house stuff as well. That's a lot for any one person to handle. You're not just healing from him, but from a lot of stuff, both emotionally and physically. I am sure that muddied the waters of recovery a lot over the past couple years.
Author Chinook Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 Don't forget you're dealing with a jumble of stuff Chin- not just your ex but your health and your house stuff as well. That's a lot for any one person to handle. You're not just healing from him, but from a lot of stuff, both emotionally and physically. I am sure that muddied the waters of recovery a lot over the past couple years. Christalmighty Kitten, you have that right. !!! (sigh)
LaraV Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 My breakup was two years ago. Limited contact since... to remain friends. That wasn't working. No contact mode for one month now. It seems to be working. My question is for how long..? Right now, I'm feeling quite "stable" and fairly "numb". Is this normal...? I've been on the rollercoaster for the last two years of being okay one week and in fits of despair the next. Right now, I'm hoping this "numbness" is an upswing in the healing process. But I'm not sure. I feel just about "okay". Fragile but okay. I don't want to question it too closely just now because I'm scared of it dissolving into despair again. What do you guys think..? Could it be the road to recovery rather than just another swing on the rollercoaster..? Is it probably too early to say yet..? (sigh) Chinook - I wonder about the "numbness" too. It kind of freaks me out when it happens. I guess I almost prefer feeling anything than nothing. I do wonder why this happens, but I've been told that every feeling and lack thereof is perfectly normal. Still, I find the numbness to be very uncomfortable...
Author Chinook Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 Lara.... ha ha ha! Sorry, you'll have to forgive the sarcastic laughter from me... I'm incomprehensible at the moment. You see, I was alright this morning... some kind twist of fate intervened since then and caused this. Edit: Got my answer to this thread though huh..? Anger and despair... again. Great eh.
Ariadne Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 Hi, What do you guys think..? Could it be the road to recovery rather than just another swing on the rollercoaster..? Is it probably too early to say yet..? Well, it doesn't really matter. As long as you feel fine. Ariadne
Author Chinook Posted August 3, 2006 Author Posted August 3, 2006 Transfer of Equity for the house. Forms arrived today. All completed and signed. Going back to the lawyers this afternoon. Nothing left to say or talk about. It's over. Now... hopefully the real healing can start.
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