Maylove Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 So I got tired of my ex's attitude and all over the 4th of July. I was studying for the bar this summer and very stressed, but just felt like she wasn't taking any interest in me. I finally got so pissed about it I started a fight by dropping the C bomb. 1st time I've ever done this and its so unlike me, but just couldn't deal with the way it was. We had been on and off again. In the beginning I wasn't as caring / attentive as I should have been, but I wasn't cheating- even though she's a very jealous person. She has been checking my phone in the past. After we broke up in Feb, she stated going online to sites like Myspace and facebook and basically trying to make me jealous and what not. I cut it off for a bit and she started being nice again but then would be way too controlling and worried I was up to stuff behind her back, even though I wasn't. Needless, to say she managed to get me concerned, and I found out there wasn't anything on her end as far as cheating that I could tell, just more like she wasn't seemingly able to get past the prior pettiness, so I had to end it, badly. I sent her email a few days later appologizing for handling it the way I did, and left it at that. Since that time she hadn't been in contact but online has made it a point to try to get my attention and being playing stupid games of getting a rise out of me. I didn't bother with it, as I was studying for the bar. However, I just moved to the same city as her, and since then have felt this cloud of worry. She texted me last week to wish me good luck on the test, but I didn't respond. I really would not be disposed to playing the same stupid game, but since moving up I've had a bit too much free time on my hands, and have bothered to look at her profile online, and needless to say its a directed strike to get a rise out of me- which worked sadly, and I bothered to get into contact with a bunch of girls I know to reciprocate the same anxious feelings. I wish I wouldn't have, and really don't know why I'm bothering when it clearly absurd. I want to just erase the situation, but I'm like sadly wishing to run into her w/ the hope she gets pissed b/c I won't talk to her. I know its counterproductive and I should just go w/ no contact. I need to not give in and check her profile or anything on the sites, but find myself bored and can't seem to break my habit of wanting to know- mostly just hoping to see she's misserable. How can I just get the burden off of me and not keep screwing up and making myself feel bad. Its all a bit new to me, b/c I am a VERY laid back person & I feel she's has gone from the sweetest person to just pure poison! From a women's perspective, is this all just a person that is very bitter that things didn't work out and she's bitter that she was so loving at 1st and I had a hard time "Jumping in" or is this just her way of trying to turn the knife? I just need to get my time occupied and hope to not run into I think. If I could just get settled in and meet someone to take my mind off it I think I'd be fine.... just a matter of that going down, b/c I usually have no problem meeting new girls, just tough when I'm new to town and everyone I know is so busy w/ work, so I waste my weekdays w/ more free time that I don't want and now was dumb enough to fall prey her stupid games. Any advice. This situation may take care of it self soon. My lack of a life this summer and being in a new place has compounded the inability to move on or have my support base around me!
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