jimmy20013 Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 One month of NC. Should I email her this letter? This past one month in which I had no contact with you has been great and has helped me a lot. It helped me to sit down and analyse a lot of things.I was able to forgive you and move on. I also went through all the letters and emails we exchanged in the past 18 months and they were an eye opener. I think you did me a favour by breaking up with me because I realised that you are not good enough for me. I say this because I sat down and looked at the relationship from a neutral point of view and when I did that I saw that it was a very one sided relationship where I was making majority of the sacrifices and where I was trying to keep us together when you were ready to jump ship at the first hint of trouble. I know you took me for granted because I was a pushover. I forgave a lot of things and let you off with things that I shouldn't have let you off with. I wont deny the fact that we were soulmates. You never gave me the respect and love that I deserved nor did you have the strength to be self-less.Your tough skin is just an excuse for being selfish.Also I even though I never told you this, I was unhappy with you for about 2 months. I didnt know why I didnt realise that I was unhappy because of the way you treated me. Dont take me wrong. I am not saying that you are a bad person, just that you are very selfish and you lack the ability to look beyond your happiness. Thank you for the favour. I know one day I will meet the woman that will give me the respect, love and compassion I deserve and I will be very happy with her.I am not going to waste my time waiting for a person who doesnt even deserve me. This is not a hate mail. I am not angry at you nor do I hate you. Infact today I am very glad that you broke up with me. In a sense you gave me a new life and an opportunuty to be treated with respect and love.
bluegal79 Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 Jimmy, If you feel that the letter will help you, then send it. How do you feel after writing it? Does it feel a little better to get those feelings out on paper? From my own recent breakup (dumped 2 months ago), I would give you the advice that you have to be prepared she may not answer you at all. I would recommend that you keep the letter for yourself and let your silence show her that you are over her. If you do send the email and are like me and just want to know if she opened it and didn't delete it, then I would think about putting an invisible tracking on the email. That is available for free on readnotify . com and you have to make sure you pick the invisible setting. I wish I had found that service earlier so I would have at least known he read what I sent him after the breakup. Best of luck to you and keep your chin up! You deserve someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve!
superconductor Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 There is absolutely NO upside to sending it, other than you might think it will make you feel better for a few minutes. It only opens up the can of worms (again) which is better left sealed. Don't, don't, don't send it.
Author jimmy20013 Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 Its a good thing that I didnt send the letter. It felt good to get the feelings out though. I guess everyone needs to vent out once in a while.
magichands Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 I don't know... there aren't enough thank-you letters in this world.
Walk Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 I think it's a very truthful, honest letter which expresses your thoughts and feelings. However... The only reason she will see for you sending it to her is that you wanted to make her feel bad, or point out all her flaws. Or to gloat about how happy you are now. She's not going to take it as "Oh, I do need to change how I am. I never knew this wonderful information before. I am so happy he explained all this to me." So why do you want to send it? You aren't giving her any information that will help her in the future. You're basically telling her that she's selfish and your glad she's out of your life. Not that she could potentially become a better person, or how she might accomplish this. It isn't helpful advice, or concern for her future happiness. It's an accusation about her character flaws with a blatant judgement on her being less of a person then you. (the "you were not good enough for me" statement) She'll see it as you being selfish and hypocritical in your judgements of her and the relationship you two had together. Don't send it. A.) she won't see it as anything other than an attack on who she is. B.) The NC says you don't want her in your life, and that she wasn't your "it and all", so why do you need to so blatantly point it out? C.) If she really isn't someone you want in your life, why would you initiate contact with her? D.) It seems like you're attempting to get any kind of a response from her, even negative would be welcome at this point. To me.. I think wanting to send the letter says you don't really mean what you wrote. And that you are still very much in love with her, and that you're still hurt and angry that she broke up with you. I also think you're attempting to rationalize your need to send it without really investigating why you have this need to contact her. She's still a living breathing human being, who you still proclaim is your "soulmate". If there is enough good in her for her to be your soulmate, then have enough decency to not send that hurtful letter. She still has feelings and emotions, and if you honestly are "over" her, then you'd realize that your letter serves no purpose other than to wound. And if you honestly love her, or loved her once, then why would you want to hurt her? Just let the NC speak for you. It is far more effective, and humane, than the letter you wrote.
Walk Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 Its a good thing that I didnt send the letter. It felt good to get the feelings out though. I guess everyone needs to vent out once in a while. I missed this, sorry. I'm glad you decided not to send it though.
Walk Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 I don't know... there aren't enough thank-you letters in this world. I AGREE!!! Think of how much happier the world with be with a few short notes to say "Hey, thank you for the memories and the learning experience." Or thank you for not being in my life. HA.
Author jimmy20013 Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 Ya, I admit, I still love her. I have a tendency to assume that she is this God like person who doesnt get hurt, can get over things in a blink of an eye and is not hurt by this break-up. But I guess at some level, she does feel the pain.
Author jimmy20013 Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 I AGREE!!! Think of how much happier the world with be with a few short notes to say "Hey, thank you for the memories and the learning experience." Or thank you for not being in my life. HA. I would send such a letter but I didnt learn anything or if I learnt anything, it was never trust anyone with your heart. They will break it.
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