CGrace44 Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 When my relationship with my boyfriend started a year and a half ago we used to talk on the phone for hours, email each other before going to school or before going to bed, and text each other throughout the day (including "good morning" and "good night" text messages everyday). First the long phone calls ended. We would run out of things to say to each other and have awkward silences. We sometimes would even take turns picking a random topic to talk about. Then the emails stopped. It seemed like we began saying the same things every email and neither one of us saw the point. Now we still occasionally text the daily greetings. What I don't understand is that if I don't text him in the morning then he won't text me at all during the day. Then, he will get mad because I didn't say anything to him all day. When I ask him why he didn't text me all day he just says that I'm usually more busy then him and he doesn't want to text me and then wait hours for a response. He doesn't even ask me out anymore. He just waits for me to ask him if he wants to do something together. Is his request for me to start our conversations because of my busy schedule ridiculous or am I just making a big deal out of nothing?
laRubiaBonita Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 sounds like you and ge may be getting bored with he routine, or just cause he has "gotten what he wants"....... what do ya'll do for fun anymore??
LikkleMissConfused Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 Maybe spice it up a bit. Take him away for a couple if days or something. That will revive things and give you stuff to talk about.
Walk Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 Not sure what's in your bf's head... but a similiar experience here. My bf is far busier than I am during the day. He initiates 90% of the texts, calls, etc. I really hate calling him because I worry that he'll feel obligated to answer even if he is swamped with work. Or when I do call and leave a message, he won't return the call for Hours. Have to remind myself he's busy, and not just ignoring me. Or I'd text him, and 6 hours later he'd respond. So I'd rather he just call or text when he knows he has time. He had the same complaint towards it that you have. And he asked me why. Don't think he was satisfied with my answer either, about him being busy and I didn't want to bug him. But it's true... I only call when it's important. Something needs to be taken care of asap. Our amount of communication dropped off over time too. Unless soemthing major happened during the day, or theres a big problem, we talk on the phone maybe 5-10 minutes at most. Not every day either. Might send 1 text message every couple days. When he was gone all the time, we talked every day on the phone... but still wasn't for all that long. Long enough to say we were alive and well, ask how the other persons day was, and say the love you's. I'd say it's normal for the calls/texts/emails to drop off over time. If you want more, ask for it. Otherwise he might feel like he's being too needy, or feel he's bugging you at work. Also, if he won't ask you out because of your busy schedule, would it be possible for you to give him a written list of when you are available? Something he could plan around? I did that for my bf, although he asked me to do it. But gives him an idea of when I'm available and he can call or take me out. He'd stopped calling/texting me during the days and it was because he didn't know when I was in class, or in meetings, etc. After I gave him my schedule, he started calling and texting again. Or just accept it... and make the plans. You could ask him to compensate in some way. Like, you'll ask him out, but he has to choose the location every other time. Or he has to give you a back massage every other week. hahaha j/k.
Poboy Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 are you two in a LDR ??? ... sounds more like that to me
Guest Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 just want to agree with walk on the thing about giving him your schedule. my boyfriend and i now use a calendar online and we both type stuff in there... our work times, other obligations, dates for things we have planned together, etc. it sort of came up because i was getting frustrated with the lack of making planning for time together. i talked to him about it and he suggested the calendar. turns out he was a little frustrated being in the dark about my schedule. i was a little worried that this calendar/planning could have a negative effect on being spontaneous. given our schedules, i think planning is necessary, but i've found we are still able to be spontaneous too. the calendar seemed sort of "unromantic" at the time but actually i really like it and i think it has brought us closer.
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