Broken2peices Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Hi, I am dating this PERFECT guy he has been so great to me he loves me so much, but I feel guilty for not loving him as much as he loves me.. Am I the bad person here? Ok heres how it goes I always look at other guys, and I always for get that I am dating him... I have feelings for my exs still not all of them but I still care deeply about them... And lately I cant seem to get my self to tell him that I love him... The other day I saw my bf and we hung out for a while but later the next day I saw my recent ex and I got so many butterfly's in my stomach I thought I was flying... I dont feel that way even when I am kissing my bf... I know that my ex still has feeling for me and I know that I still have some for him.. I just cant decide if I like my bf or my ex better... I couldnt EVER hurt my bf so breaking up with him would be so hard... I am so confused, I always flirt with guys and my bf (mr.perfect) doesnt care he thinks that is harmless talking... But the truth is it makes me not like him as much as I used too... I dont know why but even when I am talking to some of my guy friends it is really hard to tell them that I am dating some guy... HELP ~B2p
MsArtful Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 You need to make a serious decision about who you want. If you choose your current bf. the best thing would be to limit contact to any ex's as much as possible. If you want one of your ex's, end it with your boyfriend before you do anything. Whatever you do, be true to your self and your feelings, if you don't love your boyfriend, end it, keeping him in a relationship limbo where his love isn't returned is unfair. Your not the bad person, this happens in relationships, you'll only be the bad person if you don't make a definite decision and continue to cruise along for months undecided because you don't want to hurt someone (which in the end is destined to cause more pain).
john2776 Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 He might be the perfect guy on paper, but he is not the perfect guy in your heart. Break it off and go find the right guy for you!
Author Broken2peices Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 How am I supposed to break his heart like that? I normally am the one who gets dumped and dont dump people... I dunp one guy once and I felt aweful about it and it was the biggest regret I have ever had!!! I just dont wanna go through that again.. And yes I know that I cant get it straight and just pick one thats why I have turned to you guys... I really need help on this one!!! What should I do? thanks ~B2p
norajane Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 If you're the one who always gets dumped, were you also treated badly by your boyfriends during the relationships? It could be that you're used to going for the butterflies and chemistry at the expense of a boyfriend who treats you well. Sometimes, the butterflies come later, and it just takes some time to fully appreciate their qualities. When you get the butterflies later, it's often a stronger relationship because you actually like the person in addition to the being hot for them. Remember, a lot of times the butterflies come from the unknown - does he like me? what is he thinking? what would he be like with me? - or from anxiety. And sometimes when you're not used to being treated well, it takes a little adjustment in your thinking. Of course, I could be off base and your past boyfriends all treated you well, and this guy just bores you. In that case, to break up with anyone, you just say that you don't believe that you're right for each other, and you don't see yourselves ending up together. If he's such a terrific guy, I'm sure there will be many other women who would love to go out with him - he'll be fine, and much better off with someone who wants to be with him.
lailla_flava Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 I think that you will eventually hurty Mr. Perfect more by simply leading him on. If he is such a great guy then he deserves to be with a person who loves him as mush as he loves you. You cannot spend the rest of your life with a person that you don't have feelings for. If you look at other guys and still have feelings for your ex then you should leave Mr. Perfect alone and let him enjoy his life. Don't sell yourself short and don't make Mr. Perfect suffer in the end. It is not fair!
Author Broken2peices Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 Ok another question... What do I do when I feel so ugly around him? And feel like I am not good enough for him? Thanks ~B2p
MsArtful Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 What you need to do is change your thinking patterns. Rather than thinking "I'm so ugly", think "I'm sexy, smart, confident and cool". Negative thinking is destructive and won't do you or anyone else any good. When ever you feel an "I'm ugly" thought springing into action, stop, say "No. I'm gorgeous". Remember, a woman who is confident within herself, is beautiful.
Author Broken2peices Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 Thanks I will try to think that but its not only when I am with him it is also when I am by myself... I dont know thank you for the help!! ~B2p
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