Abercrombie Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 I met a girl at the start of summer. She had just came out of an abusive relationship, her boyfriend used to beat her alot. Anyways I met her through a friend of a friend and we hit it off. She wanted me to meet her whole family including her father who lives two hours away. She had talks with my sister saying she was "lucky to meet someone like me." A little background info about me, I recieved a DUI about 6 months ago and I wasn't allowed to drive. This resorted into me losing my job. So now I can not drive until I pay the fine off and I can not work because I can not drive. Anyways with all that, I have alot of crap on my mind alot. So a week ago saturday was our mutal friends birthday. They were all going bowling but I didn't want to go because I wanted to get drunk (I'm 22, I like to party, what can I say.) So we started to argue on the phone and in the heat of the moment I just snapped and for some reason said "don't call me anymore, peace." And hung up. I didn't talk to her for 3 days after this until she emailed me saying that we were breaking up because she didn't want a real relationship, she just wanted to have fun. She also said that I didn't want to come to her house, hang out with her friends, and a few more reasons. I think she was alittle out of line to end a relationship without talking about the problems. I mean I would have hung out at her house, with her friends, and anything else that was bothering her if I knew it was messing up our relationship. She also said that she felt like she was the only one trying in the relationship. So now i think she has this impression of me being an *******, even though I'm not. I'm realy a nice guy at heart and I wish she would be able to see this. We talked on the phone shortly after she emailed me, and then I emailed her a few days later and she responded saying that she wouldn't forget about me and still wants to be friends, but that she needed to do whats best for her right now. So my question is does NC work? If I just stop talking, stop emailing, you think she will start thinking about me more? What should I do in this situation? I usually do not think about any certain girl like this. I got out of a 3 year relationship as well and told my self to hell with relationships right now. So I spent the past year meeting ner girls, hooking up some times, and have no strings attached. But this one is a realy good girl and I'm having problems with this. Maybe it's that my life is so messed up right now that I was using her to make me feel good about my self and I didn't even know I did it.
magichands Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 until she emailed me saying that we were breaking up because she didn't want a real relationship, she just wanted to have fun. I think you should try to forget her and have a beer (what can I say, you like to get drunk). I would give some serious thought to why you think the relationship wasn't working out - these may be valuable lessons for your next relationship (and, of course, should you and her decide to reconcile).
wintercs Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 I don't know if NC works in short-term relationships but have you considered apologizing for snapping at her? It sounded like things were going well but when you snapped you sent some bad wheels in motion. Maybe you can try calling her, apologizing for being an .ass and ask her for forgiveness and maybe see if she'd consider giving the two of you a second chance. If she doesn't want to get back together or even at least think about it, tell her that you respect what she wants and that you'll let her alone. Hope this helps.
Guest Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Yes of course I tryed calling her and telling her this. I also sent her emails. And she keeps saying that she needs to do what's best for her right now. I don't understand why she even said yes to to me when I asked her out. I also don't know why she said all the nice things to people about me if she's just gonna give up on our relationship just like that. I made a mistake, I'm human. It was the heat of the moment and I didn't mean it. Everyone in her family likes me, my family likes her, and she liked me a ton, I could tell. She would call me everyday when she woke up, or before work. She would call me when she was on break at work, or even bored at work. Then she would call me after she got off and periodcally throughout the day until she came over. She constantly wanted a kiss from me and she wanted to snuggle nonstop. I don't know how someone can just change for good in a blink of an eye.
wintercs Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 I don't know what to tell you other than that sometimes women are fickle. If I understood them I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in right now...and I also would be making lots of money with my NYT best-selling book. I wouldn't assume that she changed "for good" as you mention - she may have needed some time to sit back and reflect on who she is and what she wants. I know this isn't much but hopefully it helps you out. Good luck.
Author Abercrombie Posted August 2, 2006 Author Posted August 2, 2006 I hate this crap. I didn't even want to meet anyone and actually have feelings for them! But it happened and now I'm in a rut!
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