Confusedgirl25 Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Please please please can someone help me and give me some advice on what i should do. I have been trying to sort my feelings out in my head and i have now just had enough of trying to work things out. I feel like me and my partner of 4 years should split up but i dont know if it is the right decision to make, will i be throwing the best thing in my life away? Are we meant to be together? The reason i think we should split is because it feels like there is something missing between us, the spark (does this go after 4yrs)??? I know that we love each other very much we have been inseperable for years but im scared that it is friends who are sharing life together and not lovers who are desperately in love. We dont communicate greatly and share our feelings. Sex isnt really passionate, i feel like it has to be done. It feels like there is a part of me that isnt fulfilled but then i think maybe i am being selfish and should be glad that i am with someone who loves me and i love them. I started to have feelings for someone else so does that mean i dont love my boyfriend? Am i just scared to leave my comfortable life with him? We are both feeling alone at the moment and i dont know what the answer is... can anybody help me?!!!
Guest Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 Hi, I found your post interesting, because it was exactly me six months ago. I had been with my b/f for almost four years, and I suppose the relationship was a little stale. But we got along well, and we loved each other. Enter another man into the equatiuon and suddenly I found myself 'in love' with this other man. I went crazy, I fell for him hard and within months I had turned our lives upside down. Yes, I can see the reasons why it happened. I was not happy in my relationship. There was a lot of things wrong with it, and we didn't have the experience to deal with those problems like adults. We both acted badly towards each other, but more so me. I ended up breaking up with my b/f. What did it archieve?? Nothing and everything. I say nothing, because I never ended up getting together with the other guy. Perhaps you will not feel the same, but I was too guilty over the breakup to ever go there. I lost my b/f and I threw away our dreams we had together. But I also say everything, because I honestly do not think that we could have continued in our relationship. Yes, hindsight has shown me that we could have fixed those problems, but at the time, we were not to know that. And in the end, I don't think those problems were fixable at the time. But what advice can I give you?? You don't know what you want to do. Totally normal. But don't make a decision based on your feelings for this other guy (I was given this same advice, but at the time didn't listen to it, because I was so infactuated). Remove yourself from this other man. DO NOT see him, concentrate on what the problem is with your current b/f. Take yourself away from the other man for two monthsd, write a list of all the things you see attractive with him, and see if you can puit that same spice into your relationship. All the best, break ups are no fun!
tearful_soul22 Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 4 years is a very long time to just throw away a relationship such as yours..but, that's just my opinion. Have you considered counseling? Making compromises? I think you should perhaps resolve yours issues before you decide to just throw in the towel. But, if the relationship is beyond repair and you've tried your best to fix it, then end the relationship cordially and amicably. One last thought...it has been said that the grass isn't always greener on the other side (but sometimes..it is!) so, you have to decide if you want to take the risk.....to find out. Meanwhile, goodluck to you and hope it works out for the best.
Recommended Posts