grateful Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 That said, I must say that the grieving process is always the same. Whether you lose a job, a relationship, or when you experience the death of a loved on. The intensity and duration of the grieving process differs according to the severity of the stimuli. I actually agree with both you and Alpha. You are saying the same thing. However this part that I bolded I disagree with. It is an entirely different thing to grieve a relationship or the loss of a job. In these cases you are grieving interactions that will never be again. Grieving for the loss of a loved one is so different that it varies in more than just intensity and duration. It forces you to confront something bigger than who you go to bed with every night or where you get your paycheck from. I write these things with a trivial tone because losing a loved one makes relationships and jobs seem so trivial. When you lose someone to death who means the world to you, suddenly breakups and lost jobs seem very, very trivial. Life goes on, y'know. Except with death, it doesn't. That's the biggest difference - the loss of hope. Some people may feel like they will never have as good of a relationship or job again, but even the most pessimistic will have a little bit of hope. Losing a loved one is final, finite, and hopeless. Grieving a loved one comes from a different part of you, both emotionally and physically. Losing my dad to cancer has changed who I am. Completely. Made me stronger in many ways, but only after a period of totally screwing me up. I lost him at 26 and it was the first time I truly felt like an adult.
mariJane Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 thanks all, yeah dont know why i was flipping the other day, i was really worried, ok, just as it comes and goes is good, ya everything else does seem so little when she left. i will be ok by golly. thanks all and Q
In Sync Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 My mom passed away in October and the ex broke off from me during the same period. The amount off grief I went through was unimaginable. I sometimes thought that I could not separate my pain. But eventually my heart and tears were able to separate when I was crying for my mom and when I was crying over a broken relationship..can't describe it but the grieving did feel different. I may never see my mother again but I feel her with me. I may never see the ex again but I don't feel any of his pressence with me now for sure.
johan Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 ...Would those who cannot cope with breakups well, also not cope well with death or vice versa? Would those who DO cope well with breakups handle death better? I think many times people don't deal well with breakups because of how they interpret the rejection. The pain is not due only to the loss of someone's presence and love. It is more the dismantling of ego and the loss of self-esteem. Death of a loved one doesn't carry the same implications. The pain is due more to the loss itself. It can also be due to guilt maybe due to how you may have neglected or abused the one you've lost, or maybe for how you may have contributed to their demise. There are things the two events have in common, as they are both deaths in a way. But the effects of each tend to be completely different. Therefore I wouldn't think that the response would be the same.
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