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Looking for thoughts on my breakup- what is my ex thinking?!


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My girlfriend and I split up June 13th. We had a great night out, with dinner, watching a movie at my place and cuddling, and then she suddenly broke up with me. She gave me the “I feel like I love you as my best friend and I’m not in love with you” while bawling her eyes out. We had been together for basically 4 years with a 2 month split this past Sept-Nov. Since then, we’ve not had any problems and things had never been better.

 

She has told me on many different occasions how I’m the closest person she has in her life and there were nights when she couldn’t sleep she’d come to my house no matter what time it was because she felt safe and secure with me. I don’t feel like she’s been planning this for awhile, because 2 days prior to our breakup we were planning another double date with friends and vacation plans for the summer. It should also be noted I’m her first EVERYTHING and she’s been with me since she was 16 (now 20).

 

Here in lies my confusion. Since that night, we’ve not seen or verbally talked with each other, only a few texts or e-mails the first few weeks. I’ve now been 1 month NC, but still I find myself confused as ever on her feelings and intentions. Even though she has told me many times that I need to “move on”…I’ve also gotten this from her…

 

~ She continues to say that she loves me as her best friend; I'll always be her best friend no matter what, closest person in her life, etc.

 

~ After 7 weeks, it's still too hard for her to talk to me...asking that we not talk or see each other at all…so, if she doesn’t love me and thinks of me as her best friend, you think she wouldn't have a problem with this

 

~ She told a mutual friend of ours that she doesn't see herself dating anyone for a really really long time because she can't imagine doing that, especially because it would hurt me...

 

~ I’ve learn that she is constantly checking my blogs on myspace and even breaks down into tears sometimes reading them

 

~ She says she’s not "in love with me" but keeps saying that we BOTH need to move on we BOTH need to heal- wouldn’t she already be able to move on without romantic feelings?

 

~With the blogs, I posted one in anger the other day after seeing her face book and noticing she had been spending a lot of time with guys (including one she made out with on our last break).

 

She emailed me out of nowhere and lied saying she gets emails about it because she was subscribed before (this isn’t true, it doesn’t work like that) and went on to tell me that there is nothing going on with this guy and that she regrets what happened with him before and the other guys are just friends she’s seen like once.

 

So what am I to think? Myself and others sometimes get the impression that she’s trying to force herself to move on because she’s never dated anyone else and her mom is constantly telling her she needs to date other guys (mom had 2 bad marriages). I still love the girl and miss her, so I’m going to continue NC…but I was wondering if anyone had any type of idea what to make of this

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