hurtingurl09 Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 ok my situation is quite complicated. I dated this guy for a total of just over 3 years on and off. We broke up about 4 months ago because he was hanging out with a girl that he liked and liked him back. When I asked him to stop he refused saying that they were just friends and nothing would happen. I left it alone at that but it got so bad that he was spending more time with her and talking to her more then with me his own girlfriend and they had only known eachother for maybe 2 months. She was constantly telling him lies about me so that we would fight and eventually i gave up fighting for him necause i was so sick of having to defend myself all the time to his accusations. Then one night at the bar i showed up to find them together side by side as usual but when i gave him a hug and kiss he was acting so strange. When he walked away his friend came up to me and asked if we were still dating, when i said ya he gave me the weirdest look and told me that he had thought my boyfriend and this girl were dating by the way they were acting together that night. Well i freaked out and when i went to talk to him he was with her and wouldnt leave her. Crying in the bathroom my one friend let him know i was upset and his reply? "I don't care" The rest of the night they didn't leave eachothers side. I broke up with him the next day. We had broken up 3 times before and always gotten back together after i vowed to myself and others that i wouldn't. (yet another long story) So this time i decided not to talk to him what so ever, because the others we stayed in touch and i just kept falling for him. This time i couldn't even stand the sight of him because he had hurt me so bad. Well a couple months later i met another guy and we started dating and he was helping me get over the pain of what my ex had done to me. Things were going great until i was out of town for 2 weeks and he cheated on me. The night i got back and found out it my ex happened to be at the bar i was at. He was right there and comforted me the whole night. My friend ended up dropping me and him off at his house to talk. Well we talked for about 2 hours just about all the drama then it turned into about us and what he did. He told me he regretted doing what he had done and that him and the girl don't even talk and that she's a true psycho. I ended up staying the night (nothing happened, he tried kissing me but i refused) the next day he said we should have a talk some time soon i agreed. We agreed to be friends and not enemies when we saw eachother out. Now he's been texting me and calling me all the time and just today (he is on a boat trip) he told me that he misses me and thinks about me all the time. Then he sent me one message that really upset me. "Ya i want to f*ck you" I don't know what to do I don't want to get back together with him but i know if i stay friends with him im going to have the urge he was my first love my first everything really. I thought maybe it would be fine this time but the way hes been acting and talking to people he thinks were going to get back together. I'm not going to get back with him but i don't know what to do what to say to him. PLEASE HELP
CGrace44 Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 I had a problem like that awhile ago. It started when I started dating my best friend. He had broken up with his girlfriend (of a year) about 2 months before. I thought things were going well. He was more experienced then I was so we took things slow. Apparently, we took things too slow for him. He cheated on me and one of his friends told me about her. I backed off though heartbroken and blaming myself. I know it didn't make sense to do that because he was the one that cheated. Anyway, they started dating and I had to watch it happen because we had alot of the same friends then. After about a month they broke up. He called me the next day for support from a friend. I went to his house and he tried to kiss me. I told him it wasn't a good idea. Then, he tried to have sex with me and I had to push him off of me. After this incident I still wanted to be friends with him (don't ask me why). He sent me the same kind of "I want to f*ck you" text messages. And I wanted him back. I think it was because he hurt me and I didn't want him to know that I was hurt and lonely. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you what I did. I gave up on our friendship. The way I see it is that if someone is willing to hurt you and to pick you up and then drop you off a cliff whenever he pleases then he's not worth having any type of relationship with. If he cares for you (even as a friend) then you can't let him have that type of control over you. If you really want to be his friend then you need to talk to him and tell him that you don't want to be with him anymore. Explain to him whats going through your head. If you end up getting back together with him and he hurts you then you will only blame yourself. If you try to be friends with him and he puts you in compromising position then he obviously doesn't respect you. Good luck and I hope that helped!
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