Author wintercs Posted August 3, 2006 Author Posted August 3, 2006 Yes, it does make sense. And I'm starting to think that she views me as "non-assertive." Especially when it came to certain "rooms," sometimes she felt like I wasn't trying hard enough in order to get "it." (I'm being very generic, but you know what I meant). But in all honesty, she was often ready to go and so I really didn't have to do much heavy lifting... I let her call more of the shots becuase she often complained about how every other guy in her life - her dad, her brother, some other bf's, etc - kind of told her how it was going to be and didn't allow her to make decisions. And so, maybe I was a little too easy going with that and let her have things her way all too often. I don't know. Now I feel like a total puss becuase she probably thinks that I wouldn't be able to handle things and that I'm a total pushover - I'm not, but from her experience I could understand how she might think I am.
LaraV Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Yes, it does make sense. And I'm starting to think that she views me as "non-assertive." Especially when it came to certain "rooms," sometimes she felt like I wasn't trying hard enough in order to get "it." (I'm being very generic, but you know what I meant). But in all honesty, she was often ready to go and so I really didn't have to do much heavy lifting... I let her call more of the shots becuase she often complained about how every other guy in her life - her dad, her brother, some other bf's, etc - kind of told her how it was going to be and didn't allow her to make decisions. And so, maybe I was a little too easy going with that and let her have things her way all too often. I don't know. Now I feel like a total puss becuase she probably thinks that I wouldn't be able to handle things and that I'm a total pushover - I'm not, but from her experience I could understand how she might think I am. *Sigh* OK, don't feel too bad about it, just enough that you don't do it again. Honestly, (and I'm swallowing my pride as I say this) it happens to the best of us. In my case, I'm a very independent, low-maintenancy kindda gal. Well, my X made me act at times in ways that I couldn't even recognize in myself. I actually would cry because he hadn't called, or worse - and I HATE to admit this - I would actually "be waiting" for the phone to ring. I was SUCH an idiot! I should have SEEN with my eyeballs that he just "wasn't that into me." But I guess I was too vain and proud to accept that, so I waited around like a moron for him to finally decide that he didn't want to be with me, when it should have been ME walking away LONG, LONG ago. It also kills me that he probably thinks I'm "needy" when I'm really not. Someone else said it on this board somewhere.... We all play the fool at one point in our lives. Sad, but true.
Ariadne Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Hi, I'm not [a pushover], but from her experience I could understand how she might think I am. I don't believe you are either. I can see why you would say things in order to be respected, but only if those things bothered you. And I'm sure if something bothered you you'd speak your mind. Other than that, why bother. People that are tolerant I believe are being confused with nice guys that finish last. Ariadne
Pink Amulet Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Reading that conversation, I would say that it means nothing. However you are trying to find meaning in it, which is impossible. I agree, 100%
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