lovestruck234 Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Hi everyone, I feel as though I need to talk to someone about this, cos I'm finding it really weird... Every now and then, not everyday or anything, but say, once every 2 weeks or something like that I'll be doing something and then this thought comes into my mind, I don't know why it does, but this is what i think... What would I do without my bf? Really, if he or I died tomorrow in a tragic accident or something, would we move on? I know I wouldn't, but would he? would he find someone new or would he be living the rest of his life in sadness and grief? I really don't know why I think these thoughts but when I do my breath starts to quicken and my heart starts to race. I get a lump in my throat like I am about to cry, but I don't. It's freaking me out, cos I have never thought like this until I met him. My interpretation of thinking like this is because of just how much I care about him and to be honest, how dependent I am on him. I honestly believe if he died tomorrow I would not be able to go on with life. Really, I would be just in so much grief... ahem....why the h*ll am I thinking like this?? It comes on out of nowhere and it's such an overwhelming feeling....why?? I am preparing myself for the "Your a nutcase" posts, so fire away!
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 When i was with my ex, i used to do that alllllll the time....it even brought me to tears on occasions....and i felt silly and overly emotion...wierd isn't it...i guess it's a true fear of loosing someone you love...because they could walk out of the door in the morning for work like everyday except it may be the last time you ever see them alive....hmmmm...
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Do you feel as though you are loosing him, drifting apart, arent spending enough time together...is he being evasive...etc etc It might be showing a subconcious fear
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 1, 2006 Author Posted August 1, 2006 Do you feel as though you are loosing him, drifting apart, arent spending enough time together...is he being evasive...etc etc It might be showing a subconcious fear Yeah, it is weird. No, we're no different or any more distant than what we were when we first got together. We still have the same closeness and passsion and love for each other, if not more, than when we got together. It freaks me out. Like I said, this morning when it happened was probably the first time in about 3 weeks that I had done it so at least it's not happening every day... It's like I have a minor panic attack. My breathing is so fast, and my temperature rises and I get really worked up.... I thought I must have some problem or something...
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 hmm, i always though i acted that way because he was my first love and it had reached depths i never knew existed and he was so precious to me and i knew how devastated and inconcoleable i'd be if i ever lost him and it scared me.....and in the end i did loose him (not to death thank god)....so i don't know whether it goes away or not....maybe we're just ultra emotionally sensitive when it comes to matters of the heart? who knows!
alphamale Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 ahem....why the h*ll am I thinking like this?? um, cause you're in "true love" for the 1st time? enjoy it while it lasts...
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 1, 2006 Author Posted August 1, 2006 Hmmm...I think that's my probelm too. He's also my first true love and well, yeah, you pretty much took the words out of my mouth...yeah.....
Darkwall Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 As long as there's nothing more going on you've missed to mention... you've gotten closer and have come to realize that life without him would be difficult to accept. Sounds to me like you're just afraid of losing him, you'll falling even more in love, is all. Perfectly normal daydreams.
abitconfused Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 I would say what your feeling is natural. You must care for him alot. I say don't read into it so much. When it happens just be glad to see him the next time you do. We all have the feelings of loosing a loved one and what would you do. I am sure there would be a time of grief but you would almost have to move on. One day you would realize that you have the rest of your life left.
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 Thanks everyone. I don't feel as weird now....Although, Darkwall, you might like to take a look at the thread I just wrote in Cheating, Flirting and Jealousy called "I can't stand feeling like this anymore (for those who don't mind a bit of a read)"....I have a bad feeling that this is the underlying reason....
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