Guest Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 If you are dating someone and it's getting close to making love what are the rules about safe sex. What I mean is.. at what point can you stop wearing a condom? How will I ever know if the guy is free of diseases or HIV? He told me the last time he has done it was 4 yrs ago..You never know though..what if he had a one night stand only months ago and is lying or something. He has also told me he has had a vasectomy. So.. just curious as to what's the norm. Thanks
SoCalCatman72 Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 what are the rules about safe sex. It's quite simple really, when in doubt....don't have unprotected sex. What I mean is.. at what point can you stop wearing a condom? How will I ever know if the guy is free of diseases or HIV? When the two of you are trusting enough of each other to exchange blood test results and those results are negative. He told me the last time he has done it was 4 yrs ago..You never know though..what if he had a one night stand only months ago and is lying or something. People lie, men lie even more when trying to get some. Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear. He has also told me he has had a vasectomy. Great, then he'll be able to produce medical records. So.. just curious as to what's the norm. I dunno, I don't think there is any 'norm' per se, it's all on a case by case basis.
blind_otter Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 Go to the health department together and get tested. That's when you can start having sex without using a barrier method of protection against STDs. As long as you have a handle on your own method of birth control so you don't end up pregnant. And no, the pull out method doesn't count.
The slayer Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 In my opinion the only time in any relationship to stop using barrier contraception is when you are actively trying to concieve a child. Infidelity happens all the time, trust betrayed and hearts broken every day. It is hard enough for a betrayed spouse/ partner to pick up the pieces emotionally, without having to cope with a terminal illness at the same time. HIV rates in the hetrosexual community are currently an unknown quantity, surely for everyone, whoever they are with whatever stage in the relationship they may be it is better safe than sorry. Condoms are an extremely effective form of contraception, that could also safe your life, with no where near the same level of complications and side effects as any other form of birth control. The only safe sex, is to use a condom every time you have sex.
magichands Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 In my opinion the only time in any relationship to stop using barrier contraception is when you are actively trying to concieve a child. I agree with this. And no method of contraception is 100% effective - so it also makes sense to use a combination of.
SuddenlyCurious Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Hey, I thought I was pretty knowledgable about these stuff, but I realise I dont know the answer to a basic question. Can STD's & HIV spread through oral sex, If so how i.e. a) if a man goes down on a woman b) if a woman gives a BJ, but no ejaculation c) woman gives BJ, & ejaculation in the mouth. and any other possible scenarios Cheers
Guest Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Can STD's & HIV spread through oral sex, If so how i.e. a) if a man goes down on a woman b) if a woman gives a BJ, but no ejaculation c) woman gives BJ, & ejaculation in the mouth. and any other possible scenarios Cheers Yes (to a b and c), HIV and STD's are transmitted thru blood and bodily fluids. Blood (most of all), semen, breast milk, and vaginal fluids have a high viral load. If you have any cuts at all in your mouth you could contract HIV from having those fluids in your mouth. I know that HIV is a blood-borne pathogen and I am guessing that the more risky bodily fluids are probably contain blood plasma and others like sweat or saliva do not, or not so much. Does anyone know if this is true?
insomnie Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 If you are dating someone and it's getting close to making love what are the rules about safe sex. What I mean is.. at what point can you stop wearing a condom? How will I ever know if the guy is free of diseases or HIV? He told me the last time he has done it was 4 yrs ago..You never know though..what if he had a one night stand only months ago and is lying or something. He has also told me he has had a vasectomy. So.. just curious as to what's the norm. Thanks If you don't trust him to the point that you absolutley know he would not lie about things that can put you at risk, IMO you are not ready to have unprotected sex. If I were you I would take him to a clinic like Blind Otter said, and get both of you tested. There is NOTHING wrong with being careful about this kind of thing, as there can be SUCH huge and life-altering consequences to one very avoidable mistake If he is a reasonable person he will understand this. Wouldn't you rather be 100% sure you aren't putting your life and fertility in danger?
rina_r Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 . Does anyone know if this is true? No, HIV is transmitted through blood only.
The slayer Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 No, HIV is transmitted through blood only. Please be aware this is NOT true. HIV can be transmitted via any body fluid. Google it. Transmision requires direct contact with another body fluid, and the virus cannot survive for long outside the body. This does means that direct contact via blood is the most likely route of transmission. Therefore sharing needles is the highest risk activity. Anal sex carries a vey high risk due to the likehood of trauma. Vaginal sex also carries a high risk. It can also be transmitted via oral sex, although this is considered to carry a lower risk it is not risk free. Sweat, saliva and tears are not cnsidered to carry a risk of transmission
kulyok Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 How long have you been dating? Were you exclusive all the time? If it is less then a year, and you don't know him inside out, I suggest barrier method and no oral sex for the time being. If you trust him over and out, I suggest you do the following: Remember, HIV and several other STD's have a hibernating period up to 3 months. (!) So, both of you need to: - take blood tests, - repeat the procedure in three months, - use condoms and no oral/anal sex in between. If both tests give negative results, and you trust him enough not to cheat, then yes, you can have unprotected sex - IF and only IF he produces medical results for his vasectomy(at least two sperm tests showing he is infertile). This is important! Remember, even then you can change your mind, and it won't be your or anybody's fault - it will be a honest decision. Your health and fertility are at stake, so you are entitled to take every measure to protect yourself.
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