skiptron Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 [FONT=Arial] OK my situation is so screwed up!… I work for my dad and I love my job. My X-boyfriend also works for my dad and we are both extremely vital in the success of the business-however it would survive if one of us left. He was my only true love – we dated for 4.5 years and have been broken up for 2.5 years now. We at one time were planning on getting married but for the last two months of our relationship we were fighting a lot and then I found out that he was cheating on me. We both had the understanding that if either of us cheated it would be over. Well after a terrible HORRIBLE LONG LONG break-up…he got into another relationship and I remained single. When I started working for my dad again, I felt completely over him. However, that did not last for long, and we soon started hooking up almost everyday. I knew it was wrong since he was in another relationship and I would never ever want to be cheated on again but with him it was so different… I love him – I’m not IN love with him but I will ALWAYS LOVE him and I guess I was always hoping that things would go back to the way they were. On top of just the sex and ****, we are good friends at work, we totally get along and joke and ??? Well 3 weeks ago, we all of a sudden stopped hooking up for some reason and a few days later he went on a vacation to Cancun with his Girlfriend and her parents. When he got back, he told everyone at work (except me) that he had proposed to her and it was a week later when my mom told me that he’s engaged. My heart broke again. I’m so mad, sad, and hurt. We work together all day every day. When I asked him how he could possibly propose to someone after cheating on them days before. He said that his mom had been pressuring him to do it. I don’t know. It doesn’t seem right in ANY way. I of corse will not be sleeping with him anymore now. But I’m so MISERABLE now …it’s EATING my heart every time I’m around him. I feel so bad for his fiancé too… I mean I was so devastated when I found he had cheated on me but I would have been even worse if I had found out after we had gotten married. I don’t know what to do. Here’s how I see things possibly going: ∑ Tell him he needs to tell her or I will, he will probably have to quit cuz I’m sure his girlfriend will go crazy- but the business will be fine. I really don’t think that he could just quit and her not find out. Everyone at work is friends with both of them and me as well. On top of that we also have a million mutual friends and I’m sure someone will spill it sometime. Plus I just think she needs to know what she's possibly getting herself into Or… ∑ I leave, and when I say leave, I mean move away..?? Maybe join the military or something cuz I just don’t see myself getting a good job that pays me what I make and on top of that, ANY job that I will like. I could really see myself taking over the buisness one day as well. It's not really the option I want to resort to- I love my family, my dog, and my job...but I'm not loving life cuz of this... Please help me! [/FONT]
Guest Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 Ok this is the way I see it, either he has to leave the job or you have to leave. You can't be around this guy everyday when A. He's your ex and you still have feelings for him and B. when he's engaged to someone else. That cannot be healthy for either of you. If you can be his friend then great, but if not then he's probably gonna hurt you. If he's being pressured into marrying this other girl then he's not gonna be happy and he will eventually leave, but in the meantime it's not your responsibility to tell her about you two. You should not be the one to do that, nor should anyone else. He should. One thing though (i don't mean to offend) but if you felt bad for his current gf then you wouldn't have cheated with him, knowing how badly he hurt you when he cheated on you. He's cheated on you, and with you! Why would you want a cheater. You deserve someone who will respect and want you for who you are and someone who will NOT CHEAT ON YOU. Some people have forgiven their spouses or SO's for cheating, and who know's, things might turn out. But at this point it doesn't even seem like he knows what he wants. So (at least for now) i'd cool off on your relationship with him. But it's also at the same time not fair that you have to leave your job that you work for your dad, but if it will help your situation to do so (meaning if he doesn't leave and it seems like too much to see him every day) then maybe you should. And remember he knew that if he cheated on you, and you found out that it would be over (it was your agreement right?) so his priorities were not on you. So let him sort things out, whether he wants to marry the other girl or not. Let him figure out what he wants, and in the meantime you go about your life, have fun with your friends and family. And if he still wants to be a part of your life, and you still WANT him to be a part of yours and you can forgive then great. But now is not the time. Sorry to be harsh, i don't want to be, but sometimes people need that to realize and open their eyes. I hope things work out for you, good luck.
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