Diver012 Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 Im an analyst at heart. Ive been called a "Thinker" by friends in the past. The wheels are always turning. I think thats true for a lot of the people here. We look back, we analyze a situation that has caused us grief and pain. We wonder why, after trying so hard, trying to do the right things, being true to ourself, and true to the one we loved, did things not turn out the way we expected them too. We put our trust in an individual that has freedom of choice. They, as much as we do, has the right to choose any action they see fit. In the grand scheme of things, it doesnt really matter one bit, what we do, how we act, or what we say or think, this other person we have involved our life with is going to do what ever they damn well choose. I was talking with my God Mother earlier today. She was worried about how I was doing and we chatted briefly about it. She very bluntly said "I expect better from you." This was after she told me to not trust women. hehe.. I think what she was trying to tell me, is that there is nobody that you can trust but yourself. People are in relationships for their own selfish gratifications. They are with you because, of how they feel about you. It doesnt matter what you do, what you say, how you say it, once you, as a partner in a relationship is no longer fulfilling that need for them, they WILL go find it with someone else. It sucks, it hurts, and it doesnt seem fair... Its life and it happens to everyone. Nobody is alone in any of this. I know we all want to find that special something we have all been seeking. That one relationship that is everything we have always dreamed of. Does it really exist? Is it out there? I dont think so. There is no Cinderella, or Prince Charming. There is only Joe Shmoe and Plain Jane, desperatly trying to find each other. Im gonna go drink another beer.. hehe
Last Mohegan Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 what do you think about the couples who, after some betrayal, identify what the "need" or "feeling" was that was not being fulfilled and they start fulfilling it? Yes, this question at heart really is...can people really change? Im an analyst at heart. Ive been called a "Thinker" by friends in the past. The wheels are always turning. I think thats true for a lot of the people here. We look back, we analyze a situation that has caused us grief and pain. We wonder why, after trying so hard, trying to do the right things, being true to ourself, and true to the one we loved, did things not turn out the way we expected them too. We put our trust in an individual that has freedom of choice. They, as much as we do, has the right to choose any action they see fit. In the grand scheme of things, it doesnt really matter one bit, what we do, how we act, or what we say or think, this other person we have involved our life with is going to do what ever they damn well choose. I was talking with my God Mother earlier today. She was worried about how I was doing and we chatted briefly about it. She very bluntly said "I expect better from you." This was after she told me to not trust women. hehe.. I think what she was trying to tell me, is that there is nobody that you can trust but yourself. People are in relationships for their own selfish gratifications. They are with you because, of how they feel about you. It doesnt matter what you do, what you say, how you say it, once you, as a partner in a relationship is no longer fulfilling that need for them, they WILL go find it with someone else. It sucks, it hurts, and it doesnt seem fair... Its life and it happens to everyone. Nobody is alone in any of this. I know we all want to find that special something we have all been seeking. That one relationship that is everything we have always dreamed of. Does it really exist? Is it out there? I dont think so. There is no Cinderella, or Prince Charming. There is only Joe Shmoe and Plain Jane, desperatly trying to find each other. Im gonna go drink another beer.. hehe
daphne Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 Yes, this question at heart really is...can people really change? In my experience, usually not. Every once in a blue moon someone really does change. Most of the time, they don't. Lots of lip service and trying but most people are too lazy and afraid to really change. It requires an awful lot of work and self awareness and it can also be very painful.
In Sync Posted July 31, 2006 Posted July 31, 2006 ...We look back, we analyze a situation that has caused us grief and pain. We wonder why, after trying so hard, trying to do the right things, being true to ourself, and true to the one we loved, did things not turn out the way we expected them too. We put our trust in an individual that has freedom of choice. They, as much as we do, has the right to choose any action they see fit. In the grand scheme of things, it doesnt really matter one bit, what we do, how we act, or what we say or think, this other person we have involved our life with is going to do what ever they damn well choose.... People are in relationships for their own selfish gratifications. They are with you because, of how they feel about you. It doesnt matter what you do, what you say, how you say it, once you, as a partner in a relationship is no longer fulfilling that need for them, they WILL go find it with someone else. It sucks, it hurts, and it doesnt seem fair... Its life and it happens to everyone. Nobody is alone in any of this. The bigger picture is the realization that we can not control anybody's will to love us. Just like no one can control who I choose to love. When love is in synchronicity (hee hee) it's a beautiful thing yes but life evolves and the wheels are always spinning. Expectations are finite. The world is infinite. Learning to let go of our expectations enables us to grow. Feelings of hurt besiege us because we stay stuck in a limited expectation. We become so comfortable with what we have that when life happens and expectations fall apart we doubt that there is more in store for us. Perhaps the more we accept the spinning the more we understand we too WILL find that someone because life always has more to offer us.
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