Brokenheart17 Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 I know it's wrong and that I'm a terrible person, but I fell in love with a married man. Yes. He said he loved me and he said he was going to leave his wife and that we are perfect for each other and would marry. But then, the deadlines and timelines we laid out kept getting extended (children issues, money issues, family issues). Over the past time, he stopped calling as much. He used to slay dragons just to take a glimps of me. Now, he's hours late when we are suppose to meet or blows me off all together. Of course, he's always sorry later and can't understand why I can't understand how much pressure he's under. I truly believed what he said and us being together. I love his kids and they love me too. We argued on Thursday because after not seeing each other for a week (we used to not be able to go a day), he failed to appear for lunch. Of course, he had an excuse, but it's always an excuse and the only time we fight is over his lack of time managment. I don't believe he's ever going to leave her and I wish he would just be honest with me. I am educated, hold a very respectful job and am very dependable. I volunteer and am committed to lots of chartible organizations. His wife is the complete opposite and rarely even showers. I don't know why he's doing this. I need some insight. Please, if anyone else is going through this, please help me.
Ariadne Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 Hey, I know it's wrong and that I'm a terrible person, but I fell in love with a married man. Nah, nothing wrong with that. He is the married one, and you are not a terrible person for that. Well, it sounds like he just doesn't want to get divorced...What can you do? If you want to be with him, tell him that you want to be his lover forever or something like that. Take whatever he gives you and if he can't go to the lunch then, too bad. It may happen that things fade down in time and might fall apart too. But you are going to have to put up with this until he changes his mind, and maybe never will Ariadne
pricillia Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 Wow the things we agree to. I was once in a MM, OW relationship as well. I ended it but still think of him. I think that these kind of relationships stop our rational thought process. Don't try to make him leave his wife for you, and don't expect anything either. How can the ow be dissapointed when he "makes an excuse" as he is after all married and he does have a family. I would back off and don't encourage him and try to let him go then be with someone that can be there for you! You deserve much more! It is ok to cry... it is a release. but don't spend too much time on this as it wiil drive you batty! Do something nice for yourself.
In Sync Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 I know it's wrong and that I'm a terrible person, but I fell in love with a married man. Yes. He said he loved me and he said he was going to leave his wife and that we are perfect for each other and would marry. But then, the deadlines and timelines we laid out kept getting extended (children issues, money issues, family issues). Over the past time, he stopped calling as much. He used to slay dragons just to take a glimps of me. Now, he's hours late when we are suppose to meet or blows me off all together. Of course, he's always sorry later and can't understand why I can't understand how much pressure he's under. I truly believed what he said and us being together. I love his kids and they love me too. We argued on Thursday because after not seeing each other for a week (we used to not be able to go a day), he failed to appear for lunch. Of course, he had an excuse, but it's always an excuse and the only time we fight is over his lack of time managment. I don't believe he's ever going to leave her and I wish he would just be honest with me. I am educated, hold a very respectful job and am very dependable. I volunteer and am committed to lots of chartible organizations. His wife is the complete opposite and rarely even showers. I don't know why he's doing this. I need some insight. Please, if anyone else is going through this, please help me. You are in a situation that is stacked against you. Even if someone were going through the same thing as yourself if they are in the same sinking boat how does that help you? My suggestion for you is the one you least likely will take but here it is. Remove yourself from this picture with your dignity in tact. By remaining in this scenario you have actually given all your power over to him. Despite your being educated, and being dependable you are not acting in your own best interest. This married man holds your happiness and destiny in his hands. You must wait till he leaves his wife and children (do you know how much is at stake for him to do that) Set up two households, alimony, child support payments...that already is too much headache for a person not involved in an affair. Uh you will always be at the bottom of his priority list. And then he has to please you on top of it all...don't you see where this is heading?? Step away from this. Your head is spinning. An affair is suppose to be light and escapism...now you are becoming something like a chain for him. Of course h is going to tell you he loves you and wants to be with you, how else would he keep you strung along? If he told you, I'm just in this for the sex would you have hung in there. Now you are hooked. Free yourself from this web of drama. Clear your mind. Breath. And Distance yourself from this man. (a.k.a. Cut him off) Otherwise you've no choice to be just the other woman. P.S. Let's say he does one day divorce his wife and marries you...are you so confident he won't end up cheating on you? Think about that.
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