fireflywy Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 I saw her tonight. And we said nothing to eachother. She walked by me like I didn't even exist and I did the same. I discovered that she really wasn't with a singular man because I saw her making the rounds with several. Of course I didn't make any move either because she had been the one to push NC. I was soo hurt. And after I had wanted to gracefully wish her well today. My friends say I should get angry which I still haven't really done. I guess it's finally over. She doesn't give a care about me and probably doesn't even think I'm hurt and/or thinks I'm angry at her because I had a very glum look on my face. (I know, I couldn't help it). So now I realize that there is no hope. That she really does think the worst of me and as such sees me as nothing she should be concerned about. She's really moved on. I'm going to believe that she is so cold and heartless to remember that I care. (and yes, I AM going to call her cold and heartless.) I'm tired of making excuses for her because making excuses for her is only prolonging my pain and giving me a hope that maybe she has the ability to someday recognize some of the pain I feel. I know that she's doing what she thinks she has to do but it hurts and its come at the cost of my heart and soul. Its almost like she forgot that I'm a human being. I refuse to hate her, I can give my forgiveness to her, but I will do that and remain indifferent to her. I know now that the relationship wouldn't have worked. If she can shut down that fast on me and not even make any attempt to make it work, then it wouldn't have worked down the road when other problems arised. There is no hope anymore..... Now there is just me. I hurt so much right now.
Teacher's Pet Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 Hey Firefly.. I am in the exact same situation. After being in what I THOUGHT was a loving relationship, she dumped me for someone she never met. From what I know, the "new guy" didn't work out either, and she's already moved on to someone else! Because we have some friends in common, she KNOWS I'm hurt (we've had NC for over a month), and from what I gather, she DOESN'T care. It's as if I never existed, or even worse, it's as if I was "just something to do" for 6 months of her life, and then thrown away when she felt like she was finished. But to me, she was EVERYTHING. I truly loved her with all my heart and wanted a LIFE with her, and when she ended things, I was devastated. I'm STILL extremely hurt, but I'm also doing what you are doing. I'm TRYING to get mad at her. I'm TRYING to see things as they are, to MAKE MYSELF REALIZE SHE'S NOT WORTH CRYING OVER! It's been so hard for me, but I feel like I've made at least a LITTLE progress. I've started dating again, but it's going to be a long time until I truly clear her from my memory. Hang in there, buddy. You aren't the only one going through this. Love can be so cruel at times. -tp
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