Sadistic_Life Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 Okay, so more than once people have told me to "have a backbone" when concerning dealing with people. I do have a freaking backbone, it's just that I treat people how I would want to be treated (being in customer service, it is an important quality), and sometimes I guess I do take a lot of **** from people. I just like being nice to people; it is easy to treat people poorly, but it takes a lot of patience and will-power to be kind to people who are not always kind to you. Okay, so my question is this: Do people perfer "bitches"? I mean, once when I went off on someone, people were like, "Wow, you are a real bitch." It's like, what do people want? When you stand your ground, you are a bitch, and when you try to be supportive and kind to people who are bitchy to you, then you are spineless. So, which do people perfer? How can I become an assertive person without being a bitch?
Outcast Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 'Bitch' is in the eye of the beholder. To some people, any sort of failure to submit constitutes bitchiness. However, if by being 'assertive' you mean rude, loud, and unpleasant, then yes, that's bitchy. True assertiveness is dealing with people calmly, politely, but firmly. Unfortunately, a lot of people think that brash, loud, and crass constitute 'assertiveness'. They don't.
Yamaha Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 My thoughts are that you can be nice as long as that niceness is genuine but if they said or did something that you don't agree with and you still are nice then you are doing them and you a disservice. You must be yourself and express your views. People will respect you for it even if they don't agree with you.
burning 4 revenge Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 my ex-girlfriend was a total b*tch and that was part of her hold on me, a real femme fatale
Author Sadistic_Life Posted July 30, 2006 Author Posted July 30, 2006 My thoughts are that you can be nice as long as that niceness is genuine but if they said or did something that you don't agree with and you still are nice then you are doing them and you a disservice. You must be yourself and express your views. People will respect you for it even if they don't agree with you. See, that's the thing. I am very vocal about my views and beliefs, but I am talking about at work. I mean, I am in customer service, my only job is to be nice and try to help/calm down the customer; it is my boss' job to be "assertive." Anyway, twice now at work people (not my boss, but my peers) have told be to "get a backbone." Both times I have stated that I do have a backbone, but I am doing what I was trained to do: help the customer. And the ONE time that I was rude to a customer who was a real prick to me, three people (who don't work with me) came up to me and said, "You are a real bitch." I just feel as though there is no pleasing people...so, I want to know, of the two, which is better? I am starting to feel as though nice people do finish last...
Outcast Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 Never mind what the coworkers say. The best customer service people are good at soothing ruffled clients' feathers. Your coworkers sound like they envy your ability to remain calm. You weren't right to be rude to the customer because that never helps. Forget what people tell you and be who you want to be. If that means you're able to deal with angry people calmly, more power to you. As you've already figured out, you can't make everyone happy. As soon as you please some folks, you displease the rest.
Author Sadistic_Life Posted July 30, 2006 Author Posted July 30, 2006 Never mind what the coworkers say. The best customer service people are good at soothing ruffled clients' feathers. Your coworkers sound like they envy your ability to remain calm. You weren't right to be rude to the customer because that never helps. Forget what people tell you and be who you want to be. If that means you're able to deal with angry people calmly, more power to you. As you've already figured out, you can't make everyone happy. As soon as you please some folks, you displease the rest. Right. I have figured that out. However, the one time I was rude to a customer, he deserved it. He told me that he would "f my c*** (rhymes with bunt) ass up" if I didn't do what he wanted me to do, which I was planning on doing (I wasn't the one who had worked with him before, but he was a male-chovenist prick) until he said that to me. I told him where he could go, and his two friends and girlfriend came up to me and called me a bitch. By that time my boss had come in, and he kicked the guy out.
Curmudgeon Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 Only when "bitch" stands for, "Babe In Total Charge of Herself."
mariJane Posted August 2, 2006 Posted August 2, 2006 your acronym RoCkS, hope you dont mind i am gonna use that!
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