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Posted

I've been dating this guy for about 9 months. At first, things were extremly hot between us. We had practically moved in together. We both had keys to each others places until recently. Suddenly, he began pulling away from me. Stopped calling, visiting, and dating like we used to. His excuse for the sudden distance is that he's working longer hours.

 

I followed him from work one day and discovered that he was dating someone else behind my back. I was very angry and hurt. I dumped him and took my key back. I gave him his key and took all my things from his place. Two weeks later, he started calling me to apologize and saying he didn't mean for me to find out that way.

 

He wants me to continue seeing him, but he doesn't want us to be committed anymore. He thinks we should have an open relationship. He blames me for ruining our relationship because if I had never spied on him, I never would have found out the truth and we would still be together.

 

Is this my fault? I was already unhappy with the relatiohship because he stopped doing all the nice things he used to do. He stopped giving me attention. He said I was too impulsive and should have been patient for things to get back to normal. Right now, I'm very confused. I don't know who was right and who was wrong.

Posted
Two weeks later, he started calling me to apologize and saying he didn't mean for me to find out that way.

I like it!!!!

 

He's not sorry for cheating, just sorry that you found out about it. That's awful.

 

You're fault??!! I think you're absolutely right to demand more respect than you were getting.

 

On second thoughts, maybe it was your fault. You should have been more patient, and waited until he decided whether the new girl was a "better fit" than you. Now you'll never find that out.

 

And following him from work sounds pretty impulsive. Thank goodness you did.

Posted
He blames me for ruining our relationship because if I had never spied on him, I never would have found out the truth and we would still be together.

 

This is utter nonsense, and he knows it, because:

 

Stopped calling, visiting, and dating like we used to. His excuse for the sudden distance is that he's working longer hours.....I was already unhappy with the relatiohship because he stopped doing all the nice things he used to do. He stopped giving me attention. He said I was too impulsive and should have been patient for things to get back to normal.

 

Ergo, he's completely full of crap. :mad:

DTMFA.

Posted
He blames me for ruining our relationship because if I had never spied on him, I never would have found out the truth and we would still be together.

 

WHAT?! You're supposed to sit on the side-lines and watch as he dates someone else until he knows what he wants even though you two were in a committed relationship? :eek:

 

He's not worth your tears. I know it's hard to let go and hard to realise that he's selfish and never really was that "into you".... Please don't contact him. He's the fool and the one at fault, not you. Here's a ((hug)), because I think you need it. :)

Posted

Anytime someone is cheating on you behind your back, you cant be wrong. Why should you have to deal with that? Don't let this guy walk all over you.

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