2.5 years of what?

[Veryalone]

I've been in a relationship for 2.5 years, suddenly my girlfriend tells me she does not want a relationship at all. She would not even be friends, she blocked my aim name, she cut total contact. We were so happy when we were together. I'm 19, she's 17. I'm in my second year of college, but my college is close to here, so I am always home. We never had any major problems. I know that now, she goes out with her friends, and that is all she does. I know she is not with another guy, I am positive about that. I just feel so alone now. She was everything to me, I did everything I could for her. I fear she will never even think my name anymore. Why do girls do this? I've talked to someone about this, a girl, and she said she did the same thing, because she just wanted to go out and not be "tied down". I will never understand this. I was looking for a long term relationship. She even tried to get me to engage her many times, I was even going to in about 6 months! Now it has all ended, she wrote an email, saying that she's sorry that she has led me on for the past 2 months. She hadn't seen me for 2 months, saying she just needed time. In this message she stated that is is truely over and that she wishes me the best. I know, I truely know, that the best would have been her. She doesn't come from a family that makes a lot of money. I thought I was making her life better, but she just leaves me. I showed her nothing but love. One time she even got mad at me, because "I never got mad at her". She said I was being to forgiving of her. She came from an abusive relationship before, where she was raped. Her old boyfriend hit her and abused her. I remember everytime I went to play, such as tickle her, she thought I was going to hit her, and yelled "don't hit me!". I immediately hugged her and told her that I would never hit her. I don't really know what is wrong, I just want her back. I know this will probably never happen. I don't want to see her get hurt again, I sometimes felt as if I was protecting her. She always told me that she loves me so much, and I loved her so much too, and I told her this. I always commented on how beautiful and smart she was. Her face, used to get all red, and she was embarrased when I commented on how pretty she was. I will never love another so much, she meant so much to me. What makes something like this happen?

[yes]

AWWWW! I SO hear you...

 

I dont really know why it happened...

 

But if she says it's over, let it be over. STart healing NOW. I KNOW how much it hurts, but please believe me - it DOES get better ... after a few months, u'll feel much better... in half a year, u'll start looking for new dates.

 

the bottom line is - ##### HAPPENS. CANT HELP IT. but you WILL heal, move on, and be happy! You're so young!!! The first major break-up is always TOUGH... but it will teach u lots about yourself...

 

Be kind to yourself... Best of luck to you.

I've been in a relationship for 2.5 years, suddenly my girlfriend tells me she does not want a relationship at all. She would not even be friends, she blocked my aim name, she cut total contact. We were so happy when we were together. I'm 19, she's 17. I'm in my second year of college, but my college is close to here, so I am always home. We never had any major problems. I know that now, she goes out with her friends, and that is all she does. I know she is not with another guy, I am positive about that. I just feel so alone now. She was everything to me, I did everything I could for her. I fear she will never even think my name anymore. Why do girls do this? I've talked to someone about this, a girl, and she said she did the same thing, because she just wanted to go out and not be "tied down". I will never understand this. I was looking for a long term relationship. She even tried to get me to engage her many times, I was even going to in about 6 months! Now it has all ended, she wrote an email, saying that she's sorry that she has led me on for the past 2 months. She hadn't seen me for 2 months, saying she just needed time. In this message she stated that is is truely over and that she wishes me the best. I know, I truely know, that the best would have been her. She doesn't come from a family that makes a lot of money. I thought I was making her life better, but she just leaves me. I showed her nothing but love. One time she even got mad at me, because "I never got mad at her". She said I was being to forgiving of her. She came from an abusive relationship before, where she was raped. Her old boyfriend hit her and abused her. I remember everytime I went to play, such as tickle her, she thought I was going to hit her, and yelled "don't hit me!". I immediately hugged her and told her that I would never hit her. I don't really know what is wrong, I just want her back. I know this will probably never happen. I don't want to see her get hurt again, I sometimes felt as if I was protecting her. She always told me that she loves me so much, and I loved her so much too, and I told her this. I always commented on how beautiful and smart she was. Her face, used to get all red, and she was embarrased when I commented on how pretty she was. I will never love another so much, she meant so much to me. What makes something like this happen?

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "What makes something like this happen?"

 

DUH...this girl is 17 years old, a child...S-E-V-E-N T-E-E-N. She's got a lot of men to go through before she settles down. She's in a major growing stage now, emotionally and intellectually. While you were great when she was 14, she has moved on and wants to continue on her growth path.

 

If you want to find somebody who'll be around a while, find someone a little bit older, even though your chances are only slightly better. Understand young women are on the move, growing, and constantly changing. The fact that you lasted as long as you did is great. Celebrate that.

[Lilly]

I highly recommend you go read Kiz's post titled "Opposites..." down below, followed by Crystal and Laurynn's responses. Will definately give you insight into the 'now' effects on someone following an abusive relationship. Sounds like your girl, for sure.

[Kiz]

I've been given so much support on this site, that I want to give something back.

 

Not let the circle be unbroken so to speak.

 

Please know that all you can do for one who's been abused is give them time and space to heal. It sounds as if you did a wonderful job of doing that for your GF.

 

But understand that she has to help herself as well and at her age, she may not now how (I'm 34 and still not getting it right!).

 

You didn't do anything wrong (from what I can tell by your post).

 

Don't start blaming yourself. Give yourself some time to mourn and try to accept that your GF needs time to do the same.

 

Someone who appears to have the depth of consideration and kindness that you have will find happiness.

 

Stay hopeful.

[Veryalone]

You don't have to make everyone feel bad on this forum Tony. That is all you do, with telling people they are wrong. Do not respond to my posts ever again, you are so insensitive. Just because she is 17 doesn't mean she is not ready to find someone to stay with. When I was 17, I found her, and I was ready. I don't need responses like "duh" or things like that to make me feel like I did something wrong. Things changed very very suddenly and I've been very sad. A 17 year old can make decisions like this, maybe she was not the one that could make these decisions.

YOU ASK: "What makes something like this happen?" DUH...this girl is 17 years old, a child...S-E-V-E-N T-E-E-N. She's got a lot of men to go through before she settles down. She's in a major growing stage now, emotionally and intellectually. While you were great when she was 14, she has moved on and wants to continue on her growth path. If you want to find somebody who'll be around a while, find someone a little bit older, even though your chances are only slightly better. Understand young women are on the move, growing, and constantly changing. The fact that you lasted as long as you did is great. Celebrate that.

[Tony T]

I answer posts like I feel they should be answered and will continue to do so. That is my right. You should work on controlling your responses to external stimuli. You have total control over the way you feel and you don't need to choose to feel bad. What I right does not upset you...it's your decision to get upset that upsets you.

 

If you think my posts are rude, you obviously haven't been reading this board very long because my responses are fairly tame compared to others.

 

If you were looking for sugar coating, you should have asked for that. I am certainly capable...I have lots of education. However, you don't have enough money to buy the straight to the point responses you'll get from me.

 

99.99999999999999 percent of 17 year olds are not ready for marriage, no matter how much they may think they are. And even if they absolutely were, their minds could quickly change as those of many adults do. A girl who has a background of sexual abuse has problems compounded.

 

I will respect your wishes and not respond to your posts if you will kindly put a reminder in your post for me not to respond. I do not usually read the name of the poster but if this note is in the text of the message, I will gladly pass over it. I'm not in the business of disrespecting people's wishes. If I answer one of your posts inadvertantly, just ignore it...or make the choice not to become upset.

 

The vast majority of people thank me and are happy with the advice I give them and laugh, rather than become offended, when I write DUH!!!