jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Long story short. Got dumped by my first GF 2 months ago. Still dealing with the hurt. We are neighbours. She is moving out this weekend. In my "wussiness" period, I promised her that I would take her bedroom set in as she doesnt have enough place where she is moving to. I regret it now because that thing will always remind me of her. Cant back out because I dont wanna leave her hanging. What do I do? Also, even though I established NC about a month ago, I am very happy and sad that she is moving away from me. Don't know how to handle it? I am dreading seeing her tommorrow because this NC period has been great and tommorrow I will be back to square one. Boy do I regret falling in love!!!
SUMMER 1969 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 I would maybe tell her that you don't have the space anymore.. Make a story up.. Don't go back to square One again.. Why did you guys break up if I can ask?
norajane Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Salvation Army will be more than happy to take it. They pick up, so your ex wouldn't be required to do anything but call and make an appointment. I'm sure there's someone out there who would appreciate a nice bedroom set for their family, but can't afford to buy a new one.
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 I Why did you guys break up if I can ask? I don't know the exact reason for her breaking up with me. Every time I ask, its a different story(my fault of course), so I stopped asking. I think it had to do something with the rough phase we were going through in our relationship and she thought she couldn't handle it anymore.
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 I'm sure there's someone out there who would appreciate a nice bedroom set for their family, but can't afford to buy a new one. Talk about knives through the heart. That bedroom set was of special sentiment to the both of us. That was the bedroom set that we were going to spend our wedding night on. We were going to get engaged in 6 months and she knew that. Maybe not the timeframe but she knew we were going to get engaged. Also that set was a special gift from her parents and so she doesnt wanna donate it to charity. Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? Why did I have to agree to help her?
norajane Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Also that set was a special gift from her parents and so she doesnt wanna donate it to charity. Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? Why did I have to agree to help her? Then maybe her parents can take it back, or choose what to do with it. It's NOT your responsibility. If you can't stand to have it, then open your [big] mouth again and just tell her you've changed your mind. You agreed to help her because you're still hung up on her.
SUMMER 1969 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 You can not get upset with yourself.. We all have done something like this before.. Hell I once gave my apt to my ex so he would not have to go and look for a place of his own.. Yeah, big mistake, I wound up living with my mother for a few months!!! I would just tell her that you can not keep the bedroom set at your house, tell her that you don't have the room for it.. Tell her that you are sorry, but I am sure she can get a storage place for it.. You need to look after yourself, you are number One here, not her... She left you, remember... Why should you have to help her out now? I am sure she has friends that can help her as well.. How long did you date her for?
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 How long did you date her for? I dated her for 18 months. We were actually courting. For us it meant that we knew we were compatible with each other and that we were trying to work out some of the issues and build a deeper trust before we got engaged.
SUMMER 1969 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 And you don't know why you guys broke up? I am a woman and I know I would want to know the truth.. But My advise may not be the best, as I myself am having issues.. Anyways, if I were you I would really just tell her you don't have the room to move her stuff in your place.. Its going to hurt you and you will keep looking at the bedroom set thinking about her.. Its just not worth it..
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 And you don't know why you guys broke up? I am a woman and I know I would want to know the truth.. Its like a multiple choice exam. Take a pick from the list of reasons. They range all the way from , I was going to be an abusive person(because I have a slight temper) to I didnt give her any space to she didnt have that lovey-dovey feeling(my favorite). Well there were times when I didnt have any feelings for her but I didnt dump her. Love is not an emotion, its a commitment. As with the bedroom set, you are right. Its not worth the hurt. I am not taking it in and the worst that will happen is that she will hate me even more.
SUMMER 1969 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Love is not an emotion, its a commitment. I disagree with you there.. Love is a emotion.. Its something you can not control.. You are either in love or not in love... I am glad you are not going to take it, you will feel better in the long run.. Don't let her guilt you into it either.. Stay strong..
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 Love is not an emotion, its a commitment. I disagree with you there.. Love is a emotion.. Its something you can not control.. You are either in love or not in love... Let me rephrase that. Love is not only an emotion but also a commitment. You are right when you say you cant control it but you can contain it. I am deeply in love with my ex and there is nothing more in life I would like than to be cuddling with her right now. I am not and that hurts but I am not going to let love love destroy my life.
SUMMER 1969 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Rewind there for a second.. Why would love destroy your life???? When you start dating anyone a man or a woman its a gamble.. You don't know if you could love this person or not.. Once you talk to someone and you start dating you have no idea what could come of the realtionship... If you have a broken heart, then learn off it... Ask yourself tuff questions.. 1. do you really have a temper? 2. Are you a insecure person? 3. do you have trust issues? Learn off a realtionship even if it went down the drain.. Everyone always learns off of a reationship.. I have been broken hearted a few times in my life now, but I will not give up just becasue a few fools did not realize what they threw away.. I just understand better of what kind of man I really want... Don't get pissed at yourself about your situation, you did not do anything wrong.. You will get through this and you will One day find someone that loves you as much as you love her..
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 Thanks for the encouragement Summer. What i actually meant was that I wasnt going to do crazy things just because I am in love with her. Like call her every hour or try talking to her when she doesn't wanna talk to him and in her words, "Its just easier to hate me(jimmy) right now." If I do those things and I will admit I did them for about a week or two after we broke up, I may end up in jail for harassment. Also, I do have a temper but not to the point as to where I cannot control my anger. As with the commitment and trust, she was the one struggling. Suprisingly for a guy, I have absolutely no commitment issues whatsoever. I learnt a lot from this relationship and I will definitely use the experience in my future relationships. I am hard on myself because sometimes I believe all the things that she said to me. I am not a loser because I was going through some problems. And I am not a depressed individual because I am sad. She told me I was depressed and mentally unstable because I was sad. I was sad for 2 weeks but with good reason. I lost my best friend of 16 years and her baby who was only 6 hours old. According to her I should look at the positive things in life. Like I have an apartment, I am doing good in school, I have food to eat, etc. BULL**** And that is only part of what I have gone through in the past 2 months. I am sorry if used this forum to vent out.
SUMMER 1969 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 You should not be sorry to use this form to vent... You should use this form to ven and to get some good advise.. I understand what you are dealing with.. my ex from a few years ago sounds a lot like you.. He had a temper but he could control it.. It does not make you weird or anything.. We all have tempers in ONe way or another.. It sounds like she was not a good friend to you.. Yes, you should think of positive things in your life, but you should also have time to cry over things as well.. That is what makes us all human. You will get through this, you shound like you are a very strong person.. Anytime you need to talk or vent please let us know.. We are all here for you.. I am going through a ruff time right now myself.. I was told by the man I loved that he does not love me and he never will.. We dated for a year.. I am pissed off, does that make me weird? Does that me unstable? I don't think so.. Its life, and we all move on to better things... Try to stay strong and just remember you are a good person and if she did not see that.. well, its her loss..
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 Then maybe her parents can take it back, or choose what to do with it. It's NOT your responsibility. If you can't stand to have it, then open your [big] mouth again and just tell her you've changed your mind. You agreed to help her because you're still hung up on her. Nora I like your brutal honesty. You are right. In a way I am still hung up on her and believe me, I am trying to change that.
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