Guest Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years. She's a great girl and everything but my feelings for her have faded away. Why? Im not really sure. Maybe all the fights and arguments we've had finally caught up to me. Or maybe she's just not what im looking for. To be honest, I've been thinking about breaking up for awhile but I kept trying to work things out and stay w/ her. I mean, I love her, but not IN love with her. And I've just reached a point where I can't see a future with her anymore. So when I told her my feelings she took it REALLY badly. I told her that it wasnt her fault and that it was just my feelings that slowly faded. I had no intention of hurting her watsoever but its unavoidable if the feelings arent mutual. She says i hurt her soo badly and that she never thought i could do that to her. She then proceeds to cuss me out and say any bad things she can think of. I just wanted to know if i did the right thing. I think it would be unfair for us both if i just kept lying to myself and continued our relationship. But yet i still feel as if I'm the "bad guy" in all of this. I just feel horrible and i need some help. I dont know if im wrong or right in this matter.
rina_r Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 It is hard to say bc I do not know what was going on between you too. Of course, it does not make sense to go further with person you do not love. But have you tried to analyze why your feelings faded to prevent it in the future? In any case, break ups are tough and people get hurt. But it is life.
AwkwardMan Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years. She's a great girl and everything but my feelings for her have faded away. Why? Im not really sure. Maybe all the fights and arguments we've had finally caught up to me. Or maybe she's just not what im looking for. To be honest, I've been thinking about breaking up for awhile but I kept trying to work things out and stay w/ her. I mean, I love her, but not IN love with her. And I've just reached a point where I can't see a future with her anymore. So when I told her my feelings she took it REALLY badly. I told her that it wasnt her fault and that it was just my feelings that slowly faded. I had no intention of hurting her watsoever but its unavoidable if the feelings arent mutual. She says i hurt her soo badly and that she never thought i could do that to her. She then proceeds to tell me how great I am and how she would've stayed with me forever. I just wanted to know if i did the right thing. I think it would be unfair for us both if i just kept lying to myself and continued our relationship. But yet i still feel as if I'm the "bad guy" in all of this. I just feel horrible and i need some help. I dont know if im wrong or right in this matter. That's my story from a couple months ago. It's tough, you did nothing wrong. There's nothing much you can do for her; move on.
Walk Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 You would've hurt her far worse, and for a longer period of time if you hadn't broken up with her. You did the right thing. She didn't handle herself well at all by cussing you out. And I think that goes to show that you did make the correct decision. Instead of respecting your feelings in the situation, she attacked you for them. Which leads me to believe that she's handled the rest of your relationship in some what the same manner. Probably not quite so blatantly though. Anyway, you didn't do anything wrong. You made a decision that was best for both of you in the long run, and you dealt with it in a responsible and adult manner. (sounds like she threw a tantrum though.)
l2hvn Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Her cussing you out was just a normal reaction to have to be on the receiving end of the breakup. Do you know how painful it is to be told by the one that you love that they're not in love with you, and don't see a future with you? She probably didn't even expect to hear that. She might've felt used, led on, etc. because this whole time, she was probably thinking your relationship would go to the next level of commitment. After all, you had never mentioned about your feelings/concerns/doubts/problems to her at all (when the issues were still smaller), and instead waited until it was all too late. It wasn't fair to her, IMO. However, you did the right thing by being honest now, as opposed to dragging it on forever. At least she knew you were being honest. Don't feel like you're the "bad guy." She will move on and eventually get over it. But at the same time, realize that communication is of utmost important in relationships. You just can't ignore the little stuff and sweep it under the rug hoping it will go away, because they won't, and the little stuff eventually turns into this one giant mess.
Walk Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Good points L2hvn. I hadn't looked at it that way. If he did just pop this on her out of the blue, it would result in a severe reaction on her part. And he possibly could have avoided the "falling out of love" if he'd kept open communication from the start. Allowed her to attempt to help him with it, instead of walling her off from the problem.
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