Pink Amulet Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 Do you feel uncomfortable when a woman is too intimidating in her approach? Is this a sexual turn off, or is a foward demeanour an admirable trait for a women to possess? For example- today in one of my very crowded lectures I found myself sitting next to a VERY handsome man. He had that sexy, unshaven, cowboy look (anyway I am getting distracted ). I could feel his eyes on me, but when I would turn to him he would quickly look down, and blush (so hot). Anyway, I couldn't resist anymore so I wrote him a note saying, "What are the chances of being seated next to such a handsome man. I am finding it difficult to concentrate... 0406****** if you want to distract me some more.... Amulet" Haha! I put it on his desk and he quickly grabbed it, looked at me with a red face and said "thanks"... and shoved it in his pocket!!! I am a very very open person, and am NEVER shy, or reserved in any situation. I later felt guilty for making him so uncomfortable with my seemingly sexually dominant approach. He sent me a message 15 mins ago saying "I am the guy from the lecture... wow, I don't know quite what to say". So I know I didn't scare him away completley. Is this too forward?
magichands Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 I don't think so. But then - I would be thinking, "What is it that she sees in me - exactly?" You know, beyond my looks. (I guess I would rather impress somebody with something more substantial than being a wallflower. Not that I'm a pretty boy, so take this with a pinch of salt.) That's just me, though. And obviously it depends very much on what he's looking for. (You're just a little less of a mystery now.) PS: Good going!
Author Pink Amulet Posted July 27, 2006 Author Posted July 27, 2006 Haha- well I am not looking for anything substantial in a male at the moment. But I definitely see what you mean. Having said that, it is a double standard that a man can be forward about his intentions with a female at a bar, or in a nightclub, but if a girl makes it known she is just looking for a bit of fun her morals may be questioned.
magichands Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 Haha- well I am not looking for anything substantial in a male at the moment. Yes - I guess that Norwegian dude (aka johan) was a little lacking in that department. As far as double standards go, who cares what anyone thinks?!
KittenMoon Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 Pink- if you can be forward, more power to you. But my question in this would be- how do you know these guys are available? Didn't you get really upset when you found out that other guy was married?
Author Pink Amulet Posted July 27, 2006 Author Posted July 27, 2006 I don't know they are available. I can only hope they would tell me.... May I also just make it clear than I am not jumping in to bed with every man I meet! I am just feeling desirable for the time in my life, and I am loving it!
alphamale Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 Anyway, I couldn't resist anymore so I wrote him a note saying, "What are the chances of being seated next to such a handsome man. I am finding it difficult to concentrate... 0406****** if you want to distract me some more.... Amulet" Haha! I don't know of any man this has happened to. Women generally don't do this. You would see this in a movie only.
AwkwardMan Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 Some guys might be confused, but I certainly don't think they're going to keep you away because of it. I don't know any girls this forward.
KittenMoon Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 May I also just make it clear than I am not jumping in to bed with every man I meet! I am just feeling desirable for the time in my life, and I am loving it! This is cool and fine... obviously you are very desireable! I don't know they are available. I can only hope they would tell me.... Maybe I'm not the trusting type when it comes to handsome guys (or lets face it, anything with a penis)... but I like to know the path is clear before I walk on it at all. Just saying "watch out", not for your sake (cause you seem pretty trustworthy), or theirs (cause who the hell knows about them, right) but rather for that potential innocent third party girlfriend/wife.
a4a Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 I don't know any girls this forward. oh we are out there............
Outcast Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 Never mind about whether he's married - you have no idea what kind of nutjob you're hitting on. You're pretty young as I recall and maybe haven't been on the planet long enough to have read enough about what's out there to be wise. Just because a man looks 'hot' and seems 'shy' doesn't mean he's a nice guy, a safe guy, or anything else pleasant. He could be a sex freak, a stalker, or worse. While it's all grand and fine that you're enjoying your ability to turn guys on, you might want to rethink this new policy of going for any guy that you fancy. It's a mistake to think they will tell you if they're committed, have a serious STD, or anything else. And most of all it's a mistake to think you can divine whether someone's a nice guy or not - nobody's that intuitive. If people were, they wouldn't marry serial killers yet many serial killers have been married. For your own sake, be a lot more cautious about your wild-oat sowing lest you come to grief.
magichands Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 For your own sake, be a lot more cautious about your wild-oat sowing lest you come to grief. Like harvest time?
Blackfrost Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 I don't know of any man this has happened to. Women generally don't do this. You would see this in a movie only. Really? maybe you just don't have the look that makes women feel comfortable approaching you. You're probably seen as the kind of guy women expect to approach them. My wife totally hunted me down at a resturant, and made me write my phone number down for her hahaha I loved it! she rules for being someone who knows what she wants and goes for it, regardless of perceived notions of how genders are suppose to behave. This one act started me off immediately with a very high level of respect for her, as I tend gauge my respect for people on their ability to get what they want from life vs. whine about why something hasn't just magically happened to them.
Asafan Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 Hmm, Aren't you the one who was assulted by a previous boyfriend and taken advantage of by the kind police man who lied about being married. Seems your judgment is a bit off to begin with. Be careful.
beach Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 oh we are out there............ You bet we are! I see it as asking for what you want... which is fine to me! I have been known to do this a few times in my life - and there were other times when I wish I had done it more often. If you don't express your wants and desires, how would you expect to obtain what you want?
a4a Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 I sent my H a FWB interest email...... after dealing with him on some business matters I sent something like : "We could develop a mutually satisfying relationship without any obligations....................." :bunny: It was all good ................ Then he had to go and do that love crap with me..... grrrrrrrrr!
Noos Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Australian dating culture is quite conservative. You got away with this approach because you look like you should be on the cover of Ralph. If a less attractive girl tried this manoeuvre, he'd think she was a psycho!
jerbear Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Do you feel uncomfortable when a woman is too intimidating in her approach? Is this a sexual turn off, or is a foward demeanour an admirable trait for a women to possess?[/Quote] I think it keeps it more fun. Sexual turn on for me, granted I'll still put her in her place once in awhile. For example- today in one of my very crowded lectures I found myself sitting next to a VERY handsome man. He had that sexy, unshaven, cowboy look (anyway I am getting distracted ). I could feel his eyes on me, but when I would turn to him he would quickly look down, and blush (so hot). Anyway, I couldn't resist anymore so I wrote him a note saying, "What are the chances of being seated next to such a handsome man. I am finding it difficult to concentrate... 0406****** if you want to distract me some more.... Amulet" Haha! I put it on his desk and he quickly grabbed it, looked at me with a red face and said "thanks"... and shoved it in his pocket!!! I am a very very open person, and am NEVER shy, or reserved in any situation. I later felt guilty for making him so uncomfortable with my seemingly sexually dominant approach. He sent me a message 15 mins ago saying "I am the guy from the lecture... wow, I don't know quite what to say". So I know I didn't scare him away completley. Is this too forward? Yes. Granted you did scare him and if he is scared or shocked you might be wearing the pants. He'll be your arm candy. :lmao: Not many guys, especially alphas, or any self respecting males would like this situation for extended periods of time. as in they don't want to turn to wusses in other's eyes.
allina Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 I say more power to ya Pink, it doesn't seem like he was turned off just shocked and maybe in a bit of disbelief. If you're interested in getting to know him message him back with something sweet, yet not over the top to let him know that you are for real. Be careful and good luck
johan Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Do you feel uncomfortable when a woman is too intimidating in her approach? Is this a sexual turn off, or is a foward demeanour an admirable trait for a women to possess? It depends on the approach, I suppose. If the signals are serious and adult and not desperate, it might work. But I've been approached by women, and I often think they are psycho. It doesn't matter how hot they are, I just wonder what the hell is wrong with them. I'm only intimidated in the sense that I dread seeing them ever again. Approaching is my job. You go sit down and wait. Maybe send a signal or two my way. You can be forward after you've first made sure you have my respect. Haha- well I am not looking for anything substantial in a male at the moment. That's fine. But don't give the impression that you don't have any substance yourself. Someday you're going to want to be honest with a guy about your past, and the higher the number you report, the more awkward it's going to be for you. Having said that, it is a double standard that a man can be forward about his intentions with a female at a bar, or in a nightclub, but if a girl makes it known she is just looking for a bit of fun her morals may be questioned. Yes, it's a double standard. Depending how you commence your idealistic quest to eliminate it, you'll appear more or less like someone who has high personal standards and self-respect. An easy party-girl typically doesn't give me that impression. Maybe I sound old or stuffy, but this is the advice I'd give to my ex's daughter or to my sister or to any girl I care a lot about. You should be very selective about your men. You can sell your beauty and intellect for very little if you want, or even give it away. Not to mention your time. But no one will value it any more highly than you do.
burning 4 revenge Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 i don't get this. i'm actually a pretty shy guy at first and most of the relationships i've been in have been initiated by the girl. how is that psycho?
Author Pink Amulet Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 Never mind about whether he's married - you have no idea what kind of nutjob you're hitting on. You're pretty young as I recall and maybe haven't been on the planet long enough to have read enough about what's out there to be wise. Just because a man looks 'hot' and seems 'shy' doesn't mean he's a nice guy, a safe guy, or anything else pleasant. He could be a sex freak, a stalker, or worse. While it's all grand and fine that you're enjoying your ability to turn guys on, you might want to rethink this new policy of going for any guy that you fancy. It's a mistake to think they will tell you if they're committed, have a serious STD, or anything else. And most of all it's a mistake to think you can divine whether someone's a nice guy or not - nobody's that intuitive. If people were, they wouldn't marry serial killers yet many serial killers have been married. For your own sake, be a lot more cautious about your wild-oat sowing lest you come to grief. Calm down. I don't see how giving my number to a seemingly studious guy in one of my uni lectures is classed as dangerous behaviour. He is taking me out to dinner this weekend in a restuarant I frequent often. It isn't like I am meeting him in a dark alley somewhere. If I were too adopt your paranoid feelings about dating- I would never date again. You could argue that I should be meeting 'trustworthy' people within my circle, but upon ending my last relationship, I have lost my friendship circle as it was a shared one. The only way I can garauntee my next potential date is if I go looking myself!
Author Pink Amulet Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 i don't get this. i'm actually a pretty shy guy at first and most of the relationships i've been in have been initiated by the girl. how is that psycho? THANK YOU! If I guy had slipped me his number, would you consider him psycho? Or even forward for that matter? NO! I have many friends who have initiated male contact in a much more forward way than this, and I, nor the males involved considered them 'psycho'. We know what we want. We are not going to sit on chivalry as the way to better our lives. If we want a boyfriend, we will damn well get out there, meet some men, and sort through the criteria
Author Pink Amulet Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 Australian dating culture is quite conservative. You got away with this approach because you look like you should be on the cover of Ralph. If a less attractive girl tried this manoeuvre, he'd think she was a psycho! I don't see how the way I look plays a part in defining me as a psycho. I use to model.... and I am yet to meet so many unstable women rounded up in one spot!!!
Outcast Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 I don't see how giving my number to a seemingly studious guy in one of my uni lectures Sorry. Read it fast and missed that it was a class rather than just a public lecture. Since it came along right after the Norwegian-in-a-plane's-snake, it sounded as though it was another stranger encounter. Dating is cool. Random hookups with strangers not so much.
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