toonicegirl Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 is it possible that you let your boyfriend to be friends with his ex? if you personaly hate his ex and he knows that even though he stays in touch with her? can a guy can be in love with a present girl and talk to his ex like every day...doesnt matter who starts but he responds right back? is a guy really in love with a present girl when he says to his ex that he like her new pictures?
utgirl2 Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 People can have varying degrees of intimacy with their exes. Really, it matters whether or not you trust him and what YOU are comfortable with. If it makes you nervous that he talks to this ex all the time, then you can't really be happy in a relationship that makes you anxious. Tell your boyfriend how you feel, and see what kind of reaction you get. If he acts concerned and wants to increase your comfort by changing in some way, that is a sign of someone who likely has healthy boundaries and is concerned about your relationship as much/maybe more than the relationship with the ex.
Author toonicegirl Posted July 27, 2006 Author Posted July 27, 2006 thanks...actually im the ex in this situation..haha... but she was the one who ruined my relationship... he didnt leave me for her (although they ended up together)...but i couldnt stand their friendship then...i knew that she wanted more...so i dont really wanna stay away cause i want to make her feel how i felt 3 months ago...it is so weird that he stays in touch with me (he initiated this 1.5 months ago) ...i think she told him many times that she hates me but it doesnt look like he cares
jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 thanks...actually im the ex in this situation..haha... but she was the one who ruined my relationship... he didnt leave me for her (although they ended up together)...but i couldnt stand their friendship then...i knew that she wanted more...so i dont really wanna stay away cause i want to make her feel how i felt 3 months ago...it is so weird that he stays in touch with me (he initiated this 1.5 months ago) ...i think she told him many times that she hates me but it doesnt look like he cares As hard as it sounds, if you love him then let him go. He should come back to you because he loves you and not because of past residual emotions. If he leaves her for that reason to come back to you then what is to say that he wont leave you and go back to her for the same reason. I know it sounds complicated but its possible.
Author toonicegirl Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 i know what you mean jimmy 20013 i posted this thread cause i was thinking that she cannot be that ok with me and him being freinds...and actually two days ago i received my aswer... she and her friend started sending me messages and calling me names... my ex knows that.. and he told me not to start it agan, so i told him that i didnt start it but im not gonna sit and do nothing when somebody is rude towards me...he was like "ok, cool, thanks babe"... and we still talk although probably she told him not to... i dont know if i would take him back but i dont want them to be together...she kinda riuned my relationship casue months ago she riuned my self esteem and made me fight with him because of my jealousy... at least now i know that she feels insecure and it was my point
jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 i dont know if i would take him back but i dont want them to be together...she kinda riuned my relationship casue months ago she riuned my self esteem and made me fight with him because of my jealousy... at least now i know that she feels insecure and it was my point Hear yourself sweetheart. How can she ruin your self-esteem and make you fight with him? It was your decision to do that. I am sure she said or did things that might have affected you but ultimately it was your and only your choice to get jealous and fight with him. No one can make you do things.
a4a Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Too nice what are you getting out of keeping a relationship with the X? What are your real motives to do so?
Author toonicegirl Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 i was thinking that i dont have to talk to him, cut all the contact, blocked him on myspace, etc...but then she would be happy...and it's not my goal to make her happy... she wanted me to go away cause she told me, but this is not waht i want and he wants... i'll stay in touch with him till it's needed...im not really hurt right now...out break up wasnt nasty..it was just problems with time, communication and we kinda grew apart... we talk, we joke, but notjing about us...just life in general...i wanna keep it that way
KittenMoon Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Hear yourself sweetheart. How can she ruin your self-esteem and make you fight with him? It was your decision to do that. I am sure she said or did things that might have affected you but ultimately it was your and only your choice to get jealous and fight with him. No one can make you do things. Disagree! If she voiced her feelings to her bf and he continued his actions with the ex w/o any alteration AND without showing her she was #1, then he put her in a no-win situation. Either she sucked it up and pretended not to be jealous of the attentions his ex got from him, which almost always leads to more resentment and jealousy, or she ditched him. Both ways she loses. Been there, and it sucks. Sure no one can make you feel jealous, but they can disrespect you by knowingly continuing to feed those jealousies. In a couple, jealousy/anger/fighting/anything shouldn't be YOUR problem, it should be OUR problem.
jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Still its not the girls fault. She might have disrespected her but it was the bf's decision to be in touch with the girl. He could have easily said no.
Ariadne Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Hi, is it possible that you let your boyfriend to be friends with his ex? I believe I'm nobody to let or not let someone do something. But if someone I was with wanted to be friends with his ex or the president, he'd have my blessings. If I don't trust my partner, who else am I going to trust? if you personaly hate his ex and he knows that even though he stays in touch with her? I don't hate anyone, personally. can a guy can be in love with a present girl and talk to his ex like every day...doesnt matter who starts but he responds right back? Yes, he could, if that is what he wanted. is a guy really in love with a present girl when he says to his ex that he like her new pictures? What does liking someone's pictures have to do with loving one's partner? Ariadne
KittenMoon Posted July 28, 2006 Posted July 28, 2006 Still its not the girls fault. She might have disrespected her but it was the bf's decision to be in touch with the girl. He could have easily said no. Yeah, but the situation involved HIM and HER, so it's a difficult thing not to shift part of the blame to her as well.
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