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Thank you, Miss Mojo


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Miss Mojo, your posting made me feel better. I've been thinking too about the fact that there is a partner out there who honestly would probably love you more when you are vulnerable, fighting through a really tough time in your life. They might even be more attracted to you because they see you not give up the fight, they see you get through each day, and despite alot of things going wrong, they still see you smile and remain optimistic atleast solution-oriented. They would understand that you might become a little overly dependent, and gently try to help you avoid this scenario, but not lose you. I remember I dated a guy once who was just going through hell in his life -- trying to find a job, ending up moving to Florida for a job, was applying to law schools and getting rejected, etc. I never would have given up on him! I loved him, and while I didn't like some of the effects the situation had on our relationship (ie, his temper flared up more often, was more sensitive , etc); I was there for him 100%. I didn't give up because he had to move away. I wanted to see him get through this tough time -- I knew he would.


I imagine my friends see me the same way -- they see a woman with 2 Ivy League degrees, a successful career, a love of life, who just quite simply got in a rut. Got in a situation where job prospects weren't good, tried her best for 6 months, and then decided to go back to the US...because she was in love, she decided not to go back immediately and stay with her man for the summer. I guess he just did not like that he became one of the most important things in my life, so much so that I put off my move and job search to be with him...but the right partner would actually want that. Wouldn't be scared of that...sure it's all a little scary, but you deal with it.


And bottom line I am the same person. I haven't really changed just because I haven't worked for nearly a year. I've struggled, I've been down, but I am a survivor. I hate thinking that he didn't see this. Did he know how hard it was to pick up and leave a city you love, a man you love, your comfort zone so to speak? But I was able to do it. Ugh. I can't wait until these feelings of low self-esteem go away. Fortunately, the job search is going well, and I've found some part-time work to keep me busy. I imagine (and have to believe) that it will all fall into place after the job comes through.


Miss Mojo, I know how you feel about missing the UK. funny how a place just gets under your skin. I also love Sydney -- I spent 3 months in Australia ten years ago. Absolutely love the Australians. Hope you are enjoying your summer and thanks for the support.

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