ALLALONEAT35 Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Here I am even more confused about life. The other day my husband stopped over to get more of his things, and visited for awhile. He seemed at a distant, but so did I. We talked a little and laugh a little. Then the time came for him to leave, and what does he do, hug and kiss me. I am getting so many mixed signals of what he is trying to say. I told him maybe we can meet somewhere have a drink, his reply, he stopped going to the bar. hmmmm.. Its kinda of strange because one of our biggest arguments is about him hanging at the bar. But now that he lives with mommy, and has his precious kids he comes straight home. I guess I wasnt worth that. It makes my wonder how long I have been living with a man that had emotionally unattached himself to me. I think it hurts even more now then it did before. One thing that stands out, is he is really trying to be the best father ever to his kids, but through the years he never cared. I know he feels guility for what their mother put them through. But when it comes to be the best step father, it doesnt exist. It is making me angry just thinking about it, not at him, but at me. How could I be married to man the just didnt care about me or my children. I know I deserve so much more. But I havent felt worthy of it. I guess you can say that I wrapped my whole life around a man that just was here in body only not in mind. I still miss him and love him, dont I sound so stupid. This man has been my life for 10 years... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Ignore his ass. Play a little game of hard to get. Be attractive and forbidden. Flirt a little even but don't let him sponge off of you for his emotional needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Lor Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I still miss him and love him, dont I sound so stupid. This man has been my life for 10 years... No, you don't sound stupid, you sound human. You are starting to get into the "anger stage" which is a good thing. Don't let him kiss you, as much as you may like it. Not even a hug. Put some distance between you when he goes to leave so the temptation won't be there. You are making yourself more miserable by letting him be affectionate--all it does is confuse you more, right? How can he want you physically but not want to be with you? Its hell--my H has done the same things. I finally had to turn around and tell him not to cuz it felt like the only time he'd pay me any attention was when he was in the mood and so I didn't know if he was interested in me as I am or me because I was convenient. He's selfish and you are completely right to get angry that he treats his own kids better than yours, although he's been in their life longer. Does he bother to visit them now since he's left? You didn't miss the signs of what kind of father he'd be, its not your fault. Give your kids the time and attention they deserve and you can make all the difference to them--they won't need him around. Just because you're female doesn't mean you can't be the "man of the house". He's making an effort with his own kids, which is commendable. How are you're kids adjusting? Are they happier without him there? Is life easier now? Link to post Share on other sites
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