Diver012 Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I friend of mine I used to work with told me something that his father told him when he was growing up.. If you open your car door for a woman, then go around to your door to get in, and she opens the door for you, then shes a keeper. If she doesnt, then shes only in it for her. Im not sure how true this is, but I try to be a gentleman. I always opened, or atleast I tried, to open doors for my Ex. Not once, not one single time, did she ever open a single door for me in return. I should have listened to my friend... Just wondering what everyones thoughts on this was.. seems to make sense to me
Outcast Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Why would someone make a guy open his own door after he'd done her the favour of opening hers first?
garnet Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I did this for my ex, and he told me that I "passed the test". I guess I'm a keeper...too bad he wasn't!
AriaIncognito Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I think I'm confused. Do you mean she leans over in the inside and tries to reach the handle to open his door as he walks to his side? (since the doors are already unlocked since he let you in your side and closed your door - i'd assume drivers side was unlocked/open). That sounds kinda challenging, if say, there's a stick in the middle, or whatever, if you're not referring to locks lol... Just wondering. Or did you mean some other door at another time lol. I'm not sure it can be applied solely to doors though. For example, you massage a woman, she loves it. Great. One day, she massages you, for no reason but to make you happy. Things like that, to me, are what matter. Doing things not for yourself, but to make the other person feel loved/special. In my most recent relationship, I'd constantly be scratching his head, because he absolutely loved it when I did it. I'd also do a lot of massaging/caressing/etc just because I knew he really enjoyed it, and that made me so happy. Is that the gist of your story? :-) Jennifer
BareGoddess Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I've always done that without even thinking about it..whether there was a stick in the middle or not. It's just common courtesy. I can't believe there are women who DON'T do that!
johan Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Just because a woman doesn't lean over to open the door for you doesn't mean she's not a keeper! Good grief you guys are kind of harsh. Some women just need a little training. I usually open the door for her, let her get in, close the door. Then I walk around to mine. If she doesn't open it herself then I lean down, tap the glass, smile, point down at the door lock, and say "OPEN THE ****ING DOOR!!!!" If she doesn't do it then and every time after, then she's got to go.
AriaIncognito Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I've always done that without even thinking about it..whether there was a stick in the middle or not. It's just common courtesy. I can't believe there are women who DON'T do that! I've reached across to unlock the door of the other person, but that was pre-power locks for the most part. I can't say that I have reached across the seat to try to grab the handle and push the door open from the inside, cuz well, I can't reach without laying across the car and I'd probably look like a fool. Short arms, perhaps. I don't, however, think that it's indicative of someone being loving towards another person, or not. There are obviously tons of ways to reciprocate and/or show love and appreciation, not solely through opening a car door. Opening a door to a place. Massaging them. Doing their laundry. Cooking them dinner. Buying them something just because you saw it and thought they'd love it. Etc. I dont think any one of us should judge a single other person on 1 facet of everyday life. Not sure it's that cut and dry. Just my two cents, of course. Jennifer
KittenMoon Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 There are obviously tons of ways to reciprocate and/or show love and appreciation, not solely through opening a car door. Opening a door to a place. Massaging them. Doing their laundry. Cooking them dinner. Buying them something just because you saw it and thought they'd love it. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. So I'm single now WHY?! Anyways, the reaching across the car to open th door thing sounds awkward and ridiculous to me. I'd pretty much have to sprawl to do this. And what if you're dressed in something nice, like a cocktail dress?
Outcast Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Anyways, the reaching across the car to open th door thing sounds awkward and ridiculous Well maybe if everyone you know owns a Hummer Otherwise, it's not really a huge deal. Very easily done. Unless maybe someone's morbidly obese or something.
KittenMoon Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Well maybe if everyone you know owns a Hummer Otherwise, it's not really a huge deal. Very easily done. Unless maybe someone's morbidly obese or something. Or if you're short and the car is bigger than a mid size sedan.
NightsInWhiteSatin Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I friend of mine I used to work with told me something that his father told him when he was growing up.. If you open your car door for a woman, then go around to your door to get in, and she opens the door for you, then shes a keeper. If she doesnt, then shes only in it for her. Im not sure how true this is, but I try to be a gentleman. I always opened, or atleast I tried, to open doors for my Ex. Not once, not one single time, did she ever open a single door for me in return. I should have listened to my friend... Just wondering what everyones thoughts on this was.. seems to make sense to me Can i just say...my ex...called me a keeper...then later told me he'd cheated on me with my bestfriend...and then dumped me a few months down the line after i took him back and whilst he was still apparently 'in love' with me. So what does it matter if she's a 'keeper' when half the men out there have no intention of keeping a 'keeper' anyway! - sorry venting ranting whatever....bitter and annoyed.
AriaIncognito Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Agreed, KnightsinWhiteSatin. I mean hell, my most recent ex, told me I was wonderful/amazing and that "he was probably a moron" for letting me go. He said I'll make someone very happy someday, blah blah blah but for some reason, he just wasn't letting himself fall for me. All sounded ridiculous to me. I'll stop venting now too lol Jennifer
bendit Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I was taught to do this by DAD too. As well as a lot of other "nice guy" things. Now I think...WHY?!!! I mean women have hands and arms and biceps and fingers. they CAN open doors when they are out shopping for shoes but for some reason we are supposed to open their door? OPEN MY DOOR HUN!!!!! I am all for equality. ;-) regards
Author Diver012 Posted July 26, 2006 Author Posted July 26, 2006 I dont think its a requirement, there are lots of different people that have different beliefes. Its just an interesting point of view is all: Is she really interesed in me? Or is she interested in how I make HER feel? I think thats what im trying to say..
AriaIncognito Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Is she really interesed in me? Or is she interested in how I make HER feel? I think thats what im trying to say.. That's a definite good question to raise. A lot of relationships, you have to wonder, if people get attached to the PERSON or just the IDEA that person represented. I think a lot of people struggle with this, especially when breaking up. Is it really this ONE person that I really desperately want to be with? Or is it the IDEA/FEELING this person gave me, that I was loved/cared for/etc. It's a really hard thing to come to terms with, for many. Looking back at my most recently ended relationship, I'm still trying to figure out which category we'd fall into. I loved being with him, I sincerely miss him now that it's been a month since we've split, and I love the person he is. However, should I believe he's the only person that carried the things I need in a man? I shouldn't, cuz well, he left and I can't change that. I am currently in between as to believing whether or not I'll find someone I feel so compatible with/suited for ever again, but I guess I have to have hope. It's difficult, I think, to separate feelings in these cases, to figure out what exactly the person is in love with. Jennifer
GW7147 Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Hey Diver (and everyone else on this thread), I've always opened the door for anybody I ever dated. My ex opened the door for me as I walked around the car. It's a nice gesture to have somebody do that however, she played headgames and dumped me anyway. It wouldn't stop me from doing again for someone else. Anyway, has anybody seen the movie 'A Bronx Tale'. It stars Robert Diniro and Chazz Palmenteri. It's about a boy that grew up in the Bronx, N.Y. His father (Diniro) was a straightlaced bus driver that worked hard for a living and always enstilled the thought of being a hard worker in his son. Down the street was a social club where the mob gathered. Sonny (Palmentiri) took "C" under his wing and taught him the ways of the street never allowing him to get in trouble or mess up. Sonny told "C" prior to going a a first date, "Open the door for her and when you're walking around the back of the car, look through the back window. If she unlocks the door for you, she's a keeper, if not, dump her and dump her fast." The movie was actually great and I would recommend seeing if you haven't. The teenage "C" in the movie actually lived in Yonkers, N. Y. after the movie was made. A few years after the movie, he ended up having a drug addiction. He and a friend broke into an apartment in N.Y. and an off duty NYPD Officer saw them and tried to stop them. The actor who played "C" and his friend shot and killed the Officer and are now facing murder charges. Strange and ironic how things turned out for him. Regards, GW
2020vision Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I was taught to do this by DAD too. As well as a lot of other "nice guy" things. Now I think...WHY?!!! I mean women have hands and arms and biceps and fingers. they CAN open doors when they are out shopping for shoes but for some reason we are supposed to open their door? OPEN MY DOOR HUN!!!!! I am all for equality. ;-) regards LMAO... I am all for a guy opening the door for me in the beggininng. I am talking the first two dates maybe three...but no need to make a habit of it. IMO, beware of a person doing things such as opening doors that are a relationship/dating cliche', it could only be an act. I think everyone can open their own door!
Buttaflyy Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 Any woman who saw the movie "Bronx Tale" does this! IMO it's unnecessary. If you opened my door, most likely your is unlocked already, if not...THAT'S WHAT FRIGGIN KEYS ARE FOR!! (you remember how to use it right?? The SAME WAY YOU USED IT TO OPEN MINE!)
mikethmn Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 I heard the same thing about toilet seats.... If a lady puts one down she's a keeper... C'mon... you're big girls, in a world of equality it doesn't mean keeping material... it's just common sense and curtiousness. Toilet seat or car door.
In Sync Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 uh. I live in ny and the mode of transportation is mostly the subway or taxi..so I can't tell if I'm a keeper:confused:
Author Diver012 Posted July 27, 2006 Author Posted July 27, 2006 uh. I live in ny and the mode of transportation is mostly the subway or taxi..so I can't tell if I'm a keeper:confused: Point taken.... and from what ive seen on this board, most of us are keepers.... atleast I am... I would defend my love with the same ferosity as I defend myself and my heart. Heres to 2 Keepers finding and keeping eachother!!!
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