MissJ Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Wow. Where do I start. So this will officially be my first message on this site, so sorry if I get carried away. Where do I begin??? I am 24 years old soon to be 25 in a few months. I have been seeing this guy for 10 years. Yeah when doing the math, we got together at fourteen and he was 17. Our relationship has obviously had its ups and downs after all these years. We have been through some pretty BAD situations as well as some AWESOME situations. We have never lived together, but I pretty much stayed at his house 24/7. We both could have probably separated back then, bt like hes said" we have stuck together for some reason." Meanwhile, I guess we had our jelouse situations or things that may have hurt the relationship, and yet we still stuck together. About 3 years ago he thought that I was cheating on him with his best friend. It wasnt so, but he was convinced that it was true. He even had a heart to heart with his best friend, which he assured him NOTHING was going on. He still wasnt convinced and ended up not being friends with a lot of our mutual friends, in fear that they "all knew that I checated on him" and he just couldnt stand it. I did everything I could to prove and let him know that the whole situaion was just that... NOTHING!!! In a way It felt like the more he accused me the more I wished something had happened so I could just say FINE YOUR RIGHT!!!! We remained together, while every now and then he would bring it up and it would cause an argument. Or lets say maybe I was expressing my concern about certain situations or tell him how I was feeling and he would say" now you know how I felt" things like that. I never had suspicions that he was cheating on me besides the thought in the back of my head that someday he might, just to get "even" I guess. So about a year ago he decided that the plans of joining the military that he was holding on too were finally something he really wanted to pursue. He did everything he could and was finally shipping out to Boot camp. It was a very sad day for the both of us. I was excited for him as well as scared..... I had NEVER been without him. He left and would be gone for 6 months. he wrote and I talked to him every once in a while. OOPS let me add that before he left things we not the greatest, so honestly In a way I was glad to get him out of my hair for a minute, an thought I FINALLY get a chance to live it up. So while he was gone I began to see what life was like on my own. I was hanging out more with friends and really enjoying life. I was meeting new people and just having an all around good time. I guess since I should be totally honest, I had an occasion where I was I guess you could say "acting single". Although as time passed I realized that I really was missing him. And that anyone I met since he had been gone.... that he didnt know about, and still doesnt know about.... really couldnt compare to the love I had for him. And that seldom phone call I would get or letter after letter, reminding me that he loved me and couldnt wait to see me, was just another reminder that I was being a fool and I needed to decide If I wanted this to work or not with him. To be honest, I though when he came home it would pretty much be the same ol same...fighting bickering and all that and That would make my decision easier, maybe we should go separate ways. I WAS WRONG. I found that he was changed for the better, we actually enjoyed spending time together and wanted to be around each other. I was begining to FALL BACK IN LOVE. I loved him more than ever before we did our seperate things and pretty much had our seperate lives and also the relationship, I felt we should have had years years ago. So six months have gone by since he has been home. I cut off al ties with any one I may have "met" while he was away and decided that this relationship was the one for me. I guess in a way my own insecurities started getting in the way. Yes I became him. I was the CLINGY, SMOTHERING, DETECTIVE. And he would say..."why do you always have to try to figure things out, cant you just let things happen?" I would ask where are you, when will you be home, why havent you called, why are you going there, then I started checking the phone log, checking receipts... yes i was becoming my own worst enemy. Then I told him, we need to be strait up if you dont want to be with me, tell me, we are both getting older and we have to start becoming adults sometime. He mentioned that he felt that sometimes he thought we werent good friends. And sometimes he felt that our relationship was kinda like a scar...could it be removed or will it always be there. The next day he said " We needed to talk" He said he knew I was the one for him, I was the one he wanted to marry and have kids with, but this friendship thing was something he felt we really needed to work on." I asked if there was someone else??? and he said no!! He didnt want to hurt me, or our relationship. He just wanted things to be like they were when he got back from his leave. And he thought that by maybe us taking a BREAK TO BECOME BETTER FRIENDS, that that would pull us closer. "I still want to talk to you everyday, I just think we need our space." He mentioned that in a way he felt like he lived in a buble and it was him, his best friend and I and I didnt get along with his BF. I cried of course and left. He called the next day to "say hello and see how I was doing, and to remind me that he loved me!" REALLY? REALLY? You love me...then why are you wanting a "BREAK"? 2 days later I called his voicemail and he didnt answer. So yes I CROSSED THE LINE and checked his voice mail. There was a message from a Lady saying Hey this is..... and I wasnt sure if you were off work yet, but I was just wanting to say Hi and so you can call back if youd like. If I dont answer leave me a message." I acted on impulse and called him, I KNEW IT it was someone else. He insisted that I was blowing everything out of proportion and that this was just a friend from work.He said.."u have friends" He said That he loved me and she was just a friend. I asked him if she knew about me and he said she did. I hung up with him and once AGAIN acted like an idiot. I called her. Nicely asking her if she knew him and what their relationship was. She said they were friends, and that from a woman to a woman, she wouldnt do that. She knew nothing about me, and when I told her I was his GF of 10 years she said, oh He didnt mention that but trust me you have nothing to worry about. SO WHOS LYING??? I called him and told him that she said she knew nothing about me and that he was lying... he said she was lying and that he told her about me. WHATEVER!!!!!! So I told him....this was like last Wednesday.... You wanted a BREAK you got it DONT CALL ME, be with her and do what you want... he kept saying that he loved me and he just didnt tell me about her because he knew I would freak out....DUH!!! So Ive been in a world of hurt. Was the whole, "we need to work on being friends" just an easy way of telling me he was done with me??? But after 10 years you would think he could just say that, He never had a problem telling me what he felt before. And Are they just friends and Im just insecure?? Or is he now with her because we arent together??? So he calls yesterday to say Hi and see how I am.. I play it off.. Doing great thanks, gotta get back to work, take care It killed me to be like that. I had 1 million questions for him and didnt want to say one word. So now I sit here with my world crumbling thinking... is he with her?? Are they just friends? Did he leave me for her that way he didnt cheat?? DId he really want to break up with me or did he just want SPACE?? Did he say that Im the one he still wants to marry just to keep me hooked or does he really feel that way??? And now that he has what he wants why does he call to see how I am... Is that just his way of seeing if Im falling to peices or does he miss me??? How can he just end it after 10 years??? Or AM I REALLY BLOWING THIS OUT OF PROPORTION??? GUYS LADIES PLEASE HELP!!!! ~Confused
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