DreadfulGravy Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 The question is what is hope and why should I have it? For those wanting some background I'm a strange guy, theres only one girl I like in this whole world. I have known her for about 10 years now, and I have had a crush on her from the first second I saw her. In those 10 years there have been other girls that have liked me, but I would tell them I'm not interested. I always had hope that she would start liking me back, or she always like me just was to scared to say so. Then a couple weeks ago I was chilling at her house just watching tv while she was using my laptop to surf the web (mostly myspace for hot guys) then another guy showed up and offered her a ride on his motorcycle she almost ran out the door and left me with her brothers. when she came back I was just about to go to the store to get something to drink, and I ask if she wanted to come she said sure. On the away to the store she told me that she had known that guy with the motorcycle longer than she had known me, and that he just asked her for a date. (I don't know how she responded to the guy my best guess is that she told him no.)(everyone says just ask her the worst she can say is no) I panicked (but I keep my cool) and told her (almost in a childish way)that I had liked her since the day I had saw her and I wanted to take her out without bring her friends along (in an attemped to taker her out she would always bring her friends) she responed with "I never thought about you in that way. Let me think about it." A week later I was back at her house she was using my laptop (on myspace looking up hot guys), but before I left I asked her if she would like to go out and do something. She responded with " I don't know let me check with my friends." Then I asked if your not doing anything could I take you out for dinner and a movie. Again she responed with "let me think about it". I'm starting to wonder if shes just using me to get to the internet (to look up hot guys on the internet), and the "let me think about it" is just a nice away of saying no. that was 2 weeks ago, and in attemped to figure out what "let me think about it" really means i have come across many posts. some with similar postings to mine, and getting replys like "keep trying", and "don't try to hard", but the ones that catch my eye are the ones that say "keep your hopes up". Which left me wondering how much is to little, how much is to much, how much hope should I have. Its kind of painful knowing I pretty much wasted 10 years of my life on a girl the might not even like me, but should I keep on hoping(risking more pain in the future). My friends are stupified in this area. So I was wonder what do complete strangers thing about this???
theman101 Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 This is a heartbreaker but if she said "let me think about it" each time you asked and you asked 3 times then she's obviously not thinking about it or she would've figured out her answer. I would go with she's trying to be polite. If you don't care about your friendship you might try one last time and if she says the same thing respond with "Are you actually going to think about it this time or is this your way of politely blowing me off?" Her response to that should be the truth. If she ends up giving you another garbled message just ask her for a straight answer, yes or no, not any more maybes.
superconductor Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Dude, you've been friendzoned. "Let me think about it" and "I never thought of you in that way" make it pretty clear, at least to me, that she's not interested in a romantic relationship with you. By all means, be her friend, but don't for a moment expect that it will develop into anything deeper, especially after 10 years. Funny thing about hope, though. The positive side of me says there's always hope for change, but the realist says that you've given it a decade and nothing's happened so there's no really much point in continuing. And those 10 years aren't wasted. You were going to be 10 years older whether you were pining for her or not, so relax about that. Date other women. You'll get nowhere with this one.
Author DreadfulGravy Posted July 25, 2006 Author Posted July 25, 2006 wow thanks for responding so quickly. I guess i implied a lot of things when I said I have known her for 10 years. The first 4 or so years we were good friends always hanging out with each other, but after that I would rarely talk to her. We went to different schools had different friends (from our respected schools), but when I would meet her outside she would always be like where have you been I haven't seen you in a long while. Which gave fuel to the hope fire. In the last couple years were the most hopeful and hopeless. When we would meet outside she would give me her number and say call me(hope), or come over(more hope). When ever I would call her someone else else would always answer the phone (male relatives I was told) and say she was in the shower(loss of hope), or when I would go to her house and ask for her again male relatives who I didn't know would say she was in the shower. I know she likes her showers but to alway be in one when I happen to call or come bye. I started to think her family didn't even want me to talk to her(I know her mom doesn't like me that much)(more hope down the drain). When I told her about it she said those jerks and not to worry about it(more hope). Resently shes been throwing rocks at my window and tell me to come over(and bring my laptop)(more hope) and as a side note everyone in the area (even people I don't know well) thought that she was my girlfriend cause I spending so much time at her house. then what happened in the first post happened.
Author DreadfulGravy Posted July 26, 2006 Author Posted July 26, 2006 I know its bad to double post, but this will be my last post here. This is just a follow up for anyone who wants to know. I just spent the last 7 hours sitting on her couch watching tv, basically being ignored. I was only talked to when she needed help putting code on her myspace account. I'm starting to think that I haven't even been "friendzoned" as superconductor put it. I'm just being used for my laptop and access to the internet. Thanks to those who replyed.
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