jimmy20013 Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Hi, I am 21. I started dating this girl 18 months ago and she was my first gf and my first love. When she came into the relationship, she had a lot of baggage from previous relationships. I stood firm by her through all her ups and downs.We had a very good relationship for 17 months. The last month of our relationship was rocky and we fought almost every week. She blamed this on me and one day before our 18 month anniversary she broke up with me without giving me a reason. She didnt talk to me for almost a week and when she came back from her friends place after a week, she made me out to be the cause of all her problems in the past 18 months. She is doing her Masters degree and because of that she didnt have time to hang out with her friends but she blamed it on me. I know its not true but still it hurts. Its been more than 2 months since she broke up with me and I still love her and think of her everyday. I know she is over me and that hurts even worse because if she can do it so easily then why cant I? I dont know what to do. Please help me and guide me. I can deal with any situation in life except hurt.
trebon Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 I can totally relate to what you are saying. I cant move on either. the only things I can do are to keep busy and keep close to your friends. Without doing this I find myself sinking into depression. the fact she is over you shows that this has lasted longer than you thought and most likely she blamed it on you to form herself a way out - that is the only way she could get over it so quickly - a head start. I know it is hard but keep on going. Life doesnt have to end even if you feel it is grinding you down. Time helps. Good
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 26, 2006 Author Posted July 26, 2006 She is blaming everything on me bcos she didnt have any reason to get out and she admitted to that. In her words ," I fought with you because I needed something firm to hold on to and if I dont believe what I believe........" and her words trailed off but she had inadvertently told me the truth. If I knew why she broke up with me, I would feel better but now I have no clue why I am being subject to this torture.
westernxer Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 If I knew why she broke up with me, I would feel better but now I have no clue why I am being subject to this torture. Forget about the why and focus on the what, what being that she's no longer into you, for whatever reason. Don't succumb to paralysis by analysis. She doesn't sound reasonable in blaming you for everything, and it may bite her in the ass someday, but she came with a lot of baggage to begin with, so you're probably better off without her. First one is always the hardest. My first serious girl had a lot of baggage, too. But that was eons ago, and I'm wiser now. I hope.
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 26, 2006 Author Posted July 26, 2006 I agree with you West. As hard as it is, I need to move on. The NC deal is kinda hard because we live in an apartment complex and we are neighbours. I told her a couple of weeks ago not to talk to me but when we see each other on the stairs or at church, she still says hi but I just ignore her. I feel very bad for doing that but if she doesnt care abt me then why should I care about her. The good news is that she is moving out this weekend but the bad news is that I am taking some of her furniture in as she doesnt have enough place for it at where she is moving. Also I am going to let this hurt as long as it hurts. I am not going to block the hurt because from experience I can say that blocked hurt turns into baggage and I dont the next person that comes into my life to deal with my baggage.
Author jimmy20013 Posted July 28, 2006 Author Posted July 28, 2006 Thanks to everybody who helped. I am in NC. I feel great. The hurt is there but its going away.I have regained my self-esteem and hope in love. Believe me, when I got dumped I was in a very very bad shape. I lost 20 pounds, had a cardiac arrest, took 8 sleeping pills everyday because I didnt have any friends to go to and I didnt know how to handle the pain. All I did was thought about my ex and killed myself on the inside. I can proudly say I am over it and one more battle won in life. God Bless All of you for being such a wonderful bunch. I am gonna stick around and try and help other people. Thanks again. WOW!!!! I feel great and rejuvinated. Wish I had found this forum 2 months ago.
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