SpeedyWorm1 Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 I have never been to this site before, and I may never be again, but I needed some outside help from someone, and sometimes the best help is given to you by people you dont know. My Dilemma> I am a 14 year old teen, male, and most definitely straight. This year was my first year in school, after being homeschooled, and i went into eight grade. There was a girl I met, I had 3 classes with her, and over the year I developed a great bond with her. However, other feelings developed, and at my last count I have had stronger feelings than that of a friend, for about 10 months. I fell in love with her 3 months ago. People tell me that its not love, just hormones, but if it is I dont think it would have lasted this long. Sure, she's attractive, but its her personality that I love. My problem is, she only likes me as "a close friend". We are close, extremely, and we are completely comfortable around each other [ I can just like be myself around her, and she can to. I told her 2 months ago that I loved her, she said she had no feelings for me, however, she did still have feelings for her ex. They had gone out for a year, he dumped her flat, and hes an ******* whos just using her right now [ they got back together 5 months later. So now, My REAL problem is- I love a girl who doesnt love me back. However, she depends on me. She tells me EVERYTHING. She trusts me with EVERYTHING, she has told me that without me, she wouldnt know what do do anymore. I love her, and I could never hurt her. I treat her too nicely, and I know it. I call her beautiful all the time, I tell her I love her and she says "I love you too", but I know only as a friend. I have tried, I CANT GET OVER HER, and I dont know what to do. Her boyfriend is using her, eventually i will go to her house and she'll cry on my shoulder over him dumping her, BUT NOTHING WILL CHANGE! What I cant stand is, her boyfriend makes her day by just CALLING her at night. Thats all he has to do. I have done so many things for her, and I would treat her so much better, yet she just cant see it. Yes I may only be 14, but I do love her, and I would die for her, and if someone could tell me either how to get over her, or how to open her eyes, I would appreciate so immensely, I wouldnt know how to thank you. -Thanks in advance, Kyle
unluckylove12 Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 Hey Kyle, my names lavinia and im fourteen as well so i can understand wat ur going through , im in love with my best friend as well hes a guy but he livs in NY now so all hope is lost, but I still love him... srry im getting to caught up any ways it seems to me that you have a problem that can be easily resolved apparently this girl seems very attached to you i personally think you should give it some time before you decide to move on i mean if shes so dependent on you than obvisiouly in time she will relize that shes been dating nothing but scum bags and she will realize that the right guy for her has been in front of her eyes this whole time... YOU but if you truely think all hope is lost than i guess you should just try to focus on other girls, but it seems like you really love this one, so maybe you should ask yourself if THIS is really love i mean come on we are only 14 could this really be love or just a strong infatuation that might go away as time goes by. I mean, i kno i already told you im in love w/ someone and am sounding like a complete hypocrite right now , but if we both think about it , maybe its not really love, maybe in few years we'll meet someone that is completly well sorry to say but BETTER than who we love now, and it might seem like there is nobody else that can replace who we love now but trust me there is. I mean look at it this way, if everything we try to do to get the one we love to love us back fails than maybe its just not meant to be. And theres so much life to live right now, do u really think were gonna be spending it w/ this one person our whole lives. Sure it is a a fantasy, but if you think realisticly, fantasies aren't real, they never will be. I know im sounding like a total dream crusher but im just trying to wake you up, as well as myself. Sorry if i took up ur time and u totally hate me for saying all that. But ya, im srry I really do hope everything goes the way you want it to but hey if itdoesent than atleast its going the way you need it to go , and what you need always ends up being wat you want
--- Posted July 27, 2006 Posted July 27, 2006 i wouldn't call this love you're still way too young for that... i'll put this bluntly... you're fighting a losing battle, find another girl. You're the guy she can share anything with, just like she would with one of her female friends. you're the guy she falls back on when her boyfriend isn't around, she knows you like her and she knows you'll be there to catch her whenever she needs someone and she uses that to her advantage, even though she doesn't mean to, it just happens sometimes. do you really want to be with someone that you had to convince that they should be with you and not the other guy? if you do, then you'll be fighting for her for a long, long time before she gives in. there's no easy way to get rid of the feelings you have for her. All you can really do is distance yourself from her. I know, easier said than done, and it will be hard to do also painful for you, but it will go away eventually. but think about it this way... do you want to keep getting hurt when she gets dumped by another boyfriend? and everytime you see her you know that you can't have her no matter how hard you try? she could be the one whos using you, did you ever think of that? im sorry if that sounded harsh, but its true... stop putting yourself through this pain, you've still got your whole life ahead of you, and there will be plenty of other girls for you.
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