miracgirl Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 I had four dates with this guy that I really like. we would see each other once a week on saturdays. The last two saturdays he couldn't see me because he had a previous engagement that he told me about, and I believe him, only thing is he didn't offer to see me on friday either. I believe he had other dates on those fridays. Anyway, he called me last week and said we would get together next weekend, meaning this past weekend, but i didn't hear from him. Mind you, this was the first saturday he would be free after his 2 busy saturdays. so i'm thinking he's dating this girl he was possibly seeing on fridays. one more thing. I met him online and i would always see him online when I would go online. but this past week he's online much less, so i'm thinking he must really like this new girl. forgive my ramblling but i'm driving myself crazy with these thoughts all day. you wouldn't want to be me!! my question is: should i call him so i know what happened? or maybe if he's seeing this other girl, should i call and try to compete? i feel like if i don't call i will always wonder what could have happened if i tried harder..what do you think?
superconductor Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 What is with this fascination with "closure"? If it's over, it's over. 'nuff said. Move on already.
nicki Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 You guys didn't have an exlusive relationship that ended and now you need to understand what happened....that's closure. What you want is to pursue the guy. I get that. I've done that, too. I was in exactly the same position you are. Went out a few times with a guy. He didn't call for a couple of weeks. He called a couple of times after that. I got the feeling he now had a girlfriend. He didn't mention the other girl until we went out and I asked him point blank if he was seeing and sleeping with someone. When he said yes, I said bye bye. Long story short, I wanted him. I knew he wanted me, but he was now in a relationship. I told him he could date me, but not while he was with anyone else. He dumped her and we started dating. Bad idea. I never trusted him again....and I felt bad for going after another woman's guy (I didn't kiss him or go out with him while he was with her -- it was just the promise of my availability and desire. I totally played it up with sexual innuendo, etc..) Anyway, take it from me. Move on. If he really wanted you, he would be with you. If you do compete with the other woman and get him, it's just a game...and you may never trust that he won't do that to you. I wish I had waited to see if my guy had come after me on his own. Let this fish swim away. You had fun. Leave it at that.
whichwayisup Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Make your own closure. If you call him or try to talk to him, and he isn't able to give you closure, it's just going to make you feel worse. Keep this in mind too, the answers he might give you may not be the ones you want to hear. You don't know him at all. After afew dates and meeting him online, sorry to say this, but he doesn't "owe" you a huge explanation, just as you don't owe him anything either.
hchris6738k Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 my advise, don't call him, he dosn't want to talk to you, he is done with you, plane and simple someone else came along, he didn't want a relationship with you, there isn't anything to talk about, besides it sounds like you hardly knew the guy, i was dumped once before too and it's hard for us women to understand how a guy can just stop calling you, i called the guy that dumped me, left a message asked him to just call me, i never heard from him again. i was really hurt, but later after i was over it i realized that he wasn't go great anyway, my hurt was just the fact that he dumped me, us women tend to analayze and think "what happened" what's wrong"? face it, forget about the guy, he is a player, stop thinking about him he isn't thinking about you, if he ever does call you again by chance that just means he is between women again, don't let yourself be treated like that, don't see him, move on, he dosn't care about you, don't be an enabler.
LikkleMissConfused Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 I agree with Nicki! If he wanted you he would have called you. I have been where you are a thousand times and I know its a horrible feeling but just forget it and move on. You deserve better right. To be treated like a princess. Thats how I always try to think of it. Give it a week or so and you will feel differently. Good luck!
AwkwardMan Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Why are people always advocating not calling if you're a girl? Just ask him out and talk to him, or even easier, talk to him online and see what's up. I know if after a few dates if the girl hasn't initiated contact with me I'll figure she's just humoring me.
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