greenc51 Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 well...to put it simply, my g/f wants the same thing. but i do not understand b/c she dropped the ball on me out of the blue with no fore-warning or anything. we have been together for 5 years; longer than most ppl stay married. she tells me she wants a break, but her reasons are too ambiguous...one day its one excuse, another day its a different excuse. she wants a break b/c she wants space...she is tired of this....she doesnt want to do this anymore...she just needs a break b/c she is going thru a lot(she just graduated from college and landed a job with GM that i found for her)...she wants to be alone....she feels like we turned into brother and sister....i treated her bad.........keep in mind all of these are seperate excuses she told me over the course of 3 months. i've started to just give up and start goin about my life like she was never a part of it, but again it is hard b/c we live together...however our lease ends the 31st and we heading our seperate ways. she officially told me in the beginning of may...the hard part is that we live together...we are college students so we moved in together to save money... i just dont know anymore....5 ****in years man...she acts like all that time doesnt even matter to her anymore. but over that course of 3 months i have begun to move on and i have met someone else that i am really interested in and i'm trying to hide it a bit since we do still live together, but i know she knows something is goin on and i can tell she gets jealous...so i dunno...what do u guys think
MacGyver Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 5 years is a long time, but its better that it ends now than when your married, and have kids. Sometime tells me that shes just had enough, and wants something new. I think you've done the right thing by trying to move on, and i hope this new girl isnt a rebound or something! Its hard to say really but it looks like you guys have just grown apart!
Author greenc51 Posted July 25, 2006 Author Posted July 25, 2006 thats what a couple people have been tellin me...that i'm on the rebound. i really dont think so. i didnt start talking to this new girl until about 2 weeks ago...and my ex dropped the ball on me in the beginning of may. i've already cried enough, been through enough pain, and thought about her enough, and now i'm ready to move on. i'm just really interested in this new girl b/c she and i have more in common over the course of 2 weeks than i did with my ex over the course of most of our relationship. and to be completely honest...my relationship with my ex was my first real relationship with anyone, she was my first love, my first sexual partner, my first everything....but looking back on it now, it started in highschool and the lusting love, then gradually turned into simple companionship. i also suspect her of being with someone else b/c all the signs are there even tho she denies it completely (she has passwords on everything now..her computer, cell phone and everything else that requires a password...i noticed she was on myspace quite a bit more and i was able to get into that and found some messages i didnt want to see...we have a balcony and now she goes out there to talk on the phone and closes the balcony door...the friday before she dumped me, she was not home the ENTIRE week)...i have accused her and been thru quite a bit of drama, but i am through with all that. i guess it wasnt meant to be, b/c i can see we are 2 different ppl that started a relationship based on teenage horomones... now the girl i am talking to currently, i am more focused on what we have in common than simply lustful attraction...we have fun together...sit outside and talk all night...we've already started making up words together... i dunno...
MacGyver Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Thats great and good to hear, but why is it a problem still? Why have you posted here? You say you've moved on, almost have a new girl, have realised why it didnt work, etc... and yet you say "i dunno" What dont you know?
Author greenc51 Posted July 25, 2006 Author Posted July 25, 2006 hmm i guess ur right...thanks for that bit of self-realization
Author greenc51 Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 is it wrong of me to tell her that i dont want to be her friend anymore? we've already moved out of our old apt and each have our own now...supposedly she says shes sad and depressed...and a couple weeks ago i found out that she was lyng to me for 3 months. all the times she said she didnt want to be in a relationship, or was turned off to guys for a while, and all the excuses i wrote before, turns out she was seein another guy. she digusts me...but should i still be her friend? is it childish if i dont want to be?
Guest Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Are you seriously asking this questions? Don't ever talk to this pathetic lying woman again. She was still living with you and seeing someone else. That says enough about her that you don't need to be involved with her again, ever. Why be available as a friend to her? You think she deserves your companionship, compassion, sense of humor, and support? I don't. YOu don't owe her anything. Live a good life of your own and I'm sure you'll find someone better for you.
johnnytable Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Don't be her friend. Period. This needs to be over and this person is no good for you. Understand?
Chinook Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 hey hold on, 1. If you're not at all bothered...you wouldn't be here talking about it. 2. She didn't cheat. She asked to end the relationship exactly so that she didn't have to cheat. It irritates me that people get villified for cheating on LS and yet when someone does try to do the right thing, they still get villified. What it comes down to is that you guys grew apart and she wanted something different. My guess is that you would catch her up with where she is in a few weeks time... you're just pissed because she was the one who took the responsibility and ended things. 3. There is no reason not to be friends if you're both seeing new people. The only reason to not do it is if either of you are hoping for reconciliation. If you can honestly and truly say you don't want that and you're over it... then I don't see what the issue is. Like you say, 5 years is a long time to throw everything down the toilet. Alot of the time NC is the way to go but if you guys are being adult and stepping away from each other's lives anyways... then there shouldn't be an issue. If not.. then as Johnny says it needs to be over.
johnnytable Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Don't be her friend. Period. This needs to be over and this person is no good for you. Understand? P.S. I say that the person is no good for you, not because of anything about the actual person. I say it because it is bothering you (clearly) and that you are "disgusted" by her. This is not a good thing to have in your life. It is important to move past this stuff. If you had, then you wouldn't be posting here.
Chinook Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 P.S. I say that the person is no good for you, not because of anything about the actual person. I say it because it is bothering you (clearly) and that you are "disgusted" by her. This is not a good thing to have in your life. It is important to move past this stuff. If you had, then you wouldn't be posting here. Agreed!
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