Darkwall Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 I have a male friend who treats me so much better than my boyfriend. My mf works with me. He pays close attention to my interests problems etc. He is much older than me. He has told me he has a small crush on me but knows it will never evolve into anything else. Because I wouldn't let it. Aside from the fact that he is married... I love my bf even though we have our problems. My mf is a great friend to me. His wife knows all about me. We've met, talked on the phone briefly and briefly through e-mails. It's him I'm fond of. Maybe because he's been around a little longer. Nevertheless, I think about him alot. He makes me feel good about myself and is an EXCELLENT listener. When I'm sick he's soo concerned and will step out to the variety store on break to get me meds or whatever necessary. I'm excited to see him when I'm away from him for awhile or even just the week-end. But not in a romantic way. I guess it's because he actually takes interest in me. How I'm doing, feeling etc. He doesn't come on to me but compliment when he thinks I look good. Am I doing anything wrong? My bf knows about him and that I wish he would show similar attention to my male friend. Is it too much?
Outcast Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 When you start comparing your guy to another man and wishing your guy was more like the other man, then yes. What's happening is you're idealizing the friend (who may do some great things but has other flaws of his own) in favour of your bf. This will continue to escalate and you will continue to find 'reasons' to compare them with your bf losing out in the end. And then you'll fall for the friend. How else does love grow except for someone to think that a person is better than all the rest?
Author Darkwall Posted July 24, 2006 Author Posted July 24, 2006 My bf has values and character traits that out weigh my mf. I just wish my bf would make it exciting for me to look forward to seeing him.
lilbabe Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Have you shared your needs with your other half? That may be the deal breaker right there. If he know what you need & still is not able to give it to you, then there is something wrong. However, it may just be a lack of communication on both parts. Give it a try if you haven't already. You may be very suprised at his willingness to share in the things you need.
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