Sadistic_Life Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 I mean, seriously? I am friends with this guy, we kiss once, and if he would have just given me some more time, I might have been ready for more than friendship, but no. Because I wasn't going to meet him after work to have sex, he isn't talking with me. Though, he keeps asking me if I am okay because he isn't talking with me? It's like, yeah, my best guy friend is not talking with me because I won't screw him...yeah, I am just great!What the hell? I mean, he is losing a damn good friend, because he is only thinking with his penis. I mean, what is it with men? Are you all out just to sleep with us? And if we don't comply, you dump us? I swear, if I have just one more encounter with a jack-ass who acts like my friend to get in my pants, I am going to be a lesbian or join a convent.
magichands Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 I swear, if I have just one more encounter with a jack-ass who acts like my friend to get in my pants, I am going to be a lesbian or join a convent. I take your point, but you did kiss him. If you want a friend, then perhaps don't get quite so friendly.
norajane Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 How is it that he's asking you if it's ok that he's not talking to you? Doesn't that require talking to you? And why is he bothering to ask you this? This whole thing sounds strange - maybe he's embarrassed because he feels rejected.
johan Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 I agree with magic. I think you should let go of the idea that the primary reason you have been interacting with this guy is because of a "friendship". There was never a friendship. It has most likely been a case of maneuvering for more on at least his part, if not both of you. You'll have a hard time convincing me this wasn't also your motivation, because you kissed him and admitted there was potential for more. You didn't give much evidence that all he wants is sex. You blasted off a stereotype that I find is rarely true. That makes me wonder if this is what you're assuming. I also would be willing to bet that you and he have not really talked about what happened, what it means, what you want, how to get there, etc... You say he's dumping you, but to me it looks like you're dumping him. He just seems confused.
Guest Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 All i know is not all men are the same, my first boyfriend only thought of sex, but the guy i'm with now didn't even try it on with me until 4months into our relationship. So all i can say is "not all men think with their dicks"!
Sally00 Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 I swear, if I have just one more encounter with a jack-ass who acts like my friend to get in my pants, I am going to be a lesbian or join a convent. Trust me, I've always thought of becoming a nun and giving up on pigs. But... I finally found the one who completes me. There are still good guys out there. Yes, my boyfriend's had sex before with someone he's been with for a couple years. I told him how I felt about sex, how I want to wait till marriage. He totally respects that. It's been almost 6 months of dating, and he hasn't forced anything upon me. He never will. I love him. My ex (who I'm still good friends with) also never thought with his penis. He's such a good guy and any girl would be lucky to have him. So there are guys who don't just think with their penis.
Author Sadistic_Life Posted July 25, 2006 Author Posted July 25, 2006 How is it that he's asking you if it's ok that he's not talking to you? Doesn't that require talking to you? And why is he bothering to ask you this? This whole thing sounds strange - maybe he's embarrassed because he feels rejected. Yeah, the whole thing is a little strange. We had talked about being FWB, and I said that I wouldn't mind it going there, but I needed a little time (I have known him for such a long time, it sounded like a good idea at the time). Anyway, I kissed him once (yes, I kissed him), and he wanted more right then. So, I was like, "Um, yeah, I need some time here..." After that he started acting strangly toward me and kept asking me what I wanted. I told him I still wanted to go through with it, but that I needed some time. Anyway, the other day, he emailed me from work, wanting me to meet him somewhere, but since I know what he wanted to do, I said, "Maybe some other time." Anyway, after that he told me he doesn't think we should talk as often. So, I said fine, even though I was a tad pissed at his reaction. Anyway, periodically he will call me and be like, "Hey, how are you? Is everything ok?" I just don't get it. And in response to johan: I am not meaning to sterotype, but I am really beginning to think it's true. I work with seventy-five men, and all but five have cheated on their wives...all...but...five. Yes, they tell me these things, and ask my advice concerning their OW. I mean, and that is assuming that the five I mentioned haven't. They said that they have been faithful, but what is a person's word worth these days, right? I am really becoming jaded toward men, and I am only 22; it's depressing. I mean, why even bother getting emotionally involved with someone who is likely to just cheat on your ass anyway? It's not worth it.
Blackfrost Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 I am really becoming jaded toward men, and I am only 22; it's depressing. I mean, why even bother getting emotionally involved with someone who is likely to just cheat on your ass anyway? It's not worth it. You are not alone on your side, some of us guys feel exactly the same way about women - and question why we get involved with any of them as well. Relationships are about taking chances, learning to trust someone else, and working towards what you hope will be an outcome that suits both your needs. And to answer to your topic header: Do men only think with their penis? Sometimes the answer is yes. Whether you like that answer or not, it's true. We have our days when hormonal and biological need can overweigh our rational thoughts, and only those with strongest moral and ethical convictions are able to stand above these urges. Luckily for most guys, this type of driving "need" tapers off as we get older - but ultimately it is still there in some capacity - and I'm assuming always will. I myself am by no means a bastion of only pure thoughts, and there are days when I really have to be strong not to jeopardize all that I have worked hard for - just for few hours of something different. I understand your frustrations with the opposite sex, I've had/have them as well: It's part of life.
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