fromfaraway Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Hi girls and guys, More than two years ago, I was in a very loving relationship with a girl. Due to her commitment phobia, she broke it off with me. We tried to stay friends, but it did not work out. When she was breaking with me, she said she knows a day will come when she will regret it. Also, when I told her why she was pushing me away--at the end of our "friendship"--she said she knows that the way she is is not a nice way to be, but that how she was at the time. This year, after two years of no contact she emailed me out of the blue twice. She seemed very curious to know what I was up to, and in the second email(7 months after the first one) she even want as far as to tell me what she was up to, and she ended up wishing me "a lovely day." Will it take some one this long to have the regrets they knew they were going to have later? By the way, I am not into power games, and I will not try to use her regret feelings to twist her arm. I still care about her. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated!
Diver012 Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Hi girls and guys, More than two years ago, I was in a very loving relationship with a girl. Due to her commitment phobia, she broke it off with me. We tried to stay friends, but it did not work out. When she was breaking with me, she said she knows a day will come when she will regret it. Also, when I told her why she was pushing me away--at the end of our "friendship"--she said she knows that the way she is is not a nice way to be, but that how she was at the time. This year, after two years of no contact she emailed me out of the blue twice. She seemed very curious to know what I was up to, and in the second email(7 months after the first one) she even want as far as to tell me what she was up to, and she ended up wishing me "a lovely day." Will it take some one this long to have the regrets they knew they were going to have later? By the way, I am not into power games, and I will not try to use her regret feelings to twist her arm. I still care about her. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated! For the sake of your own feelings and well being, since you still care for her, I would keep any contact you choose to have short and direct. Typically these people dont change from my expience. Maybe shes different. I would wish her well and just keep going on with your life.
JCD Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Ask her if she wants to get back together and knowing the answer you can then sleep at night. I mean you're asking us to tell you if she's into you or not and we don't know. She knows so ask her.
norajane Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 A commitment phobe might miss you, but contacting you isn't a sign that she wants to get back together. She may have thought NC was for your own good, so that you would get over her without pain. She was testing the water - to see if you were over her - when she wrote the first time. It took her 7 whole months to get back in touch with you, and wishing someone a lovely day means absolutely nothing. I say that to the newspaper vendor. I wouldn't ask her if she wants to get back together. I would tell her I'm curious as to why she's been getting in touch with you. Then wish her a lovely day and forget about it.
Author fromfaraway Posted July 24, 2006 Author Posted July 24, 2006 Thank you guys for your replies. You are right. The only way to get over this messy situation is to forget about it. When I think about it, I realize that she is not worth the effort. Fromfaraway
daphne Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 When I think about it, I realize that she is not worth the effort. Fromfaraway No, she's really not. She would just mess with your head all over again. Wishy washy people and commitmentphobes are the worst people to be in relationships with. A friend of mine dated one for many years. She'd break up with him so she could screw someone else. he'd take her back. Once he even continued to date her while she was dating someone else. 6-7 years down the road they were on one of their myriad breaks and he met someone else. Someone who had just left her boyfriend who was cheating on her. They clicked. They are married. Neither of them is wishy washy or commitmentphobic. They deserve each other and are one of those couples you wish you could be like. What do you think his ex is doing? Crying in her beer and screwing anything that walks. She's so messed up that no one will even commit to a relationship with her. She got what she wanted after all. I'm just glad my friend doesn't have to suffer anymore.
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