MrDemon Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 i have a long distance relationship. I currently live in scotland and my gf lives in the northern parts of england. i find myself feeling very paranoid wondering what she is talking about on the phone with an ex of hers. they are now best friends but he has told her he stills loves her but not recently. i do trust my girlfriend so why am i so worried about whats being said on these phone calls?
xLOVExLIKExWINTERx Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 its ok. i know how you feel. i live in ny, and my bf lives in nj. and he has this girl living with him thats a "friend" but she says she loves him and gives him kisses all the time. for my relationship, i see it as a threat cause he has her THERE WITH HIM, and i cant physicaly be there to tell her "back off or ill light you on fire". but think about this: if your girlfriend loves you, truly. she wont do anything but be friends with her ex. and if she does become more than friends, then her true colors and emotions really show.
Ukwizard Posted July 24, 2006 Posted July 24, 2006 Sorry, but I d better clear up what Lovelikewinter means by NY, and NJ. NY for New York, and NJ for New Jersey. Come one there lol. Not everyone knows America that well. Some people are from the UK. Please stop using jargon. It makes it hard to understand. MrDemon. I know exactly where you are coming from. I live in Scotland too. My ex-girlfriened stayed in Glasgow, and I stayed in Edinburgh. Although its a 45 minute drive, I trusted her, but the trust can be broken. I ve posted my story on these boards before, but I what I need to say is that when you are away for a long periods, and there is no re-assurance you are there for them, when your girlfriend is feeling down, or that she needs security and love. The first thing they will look for is the nearest thing they can get, or attention from elsewhere. How do I know this? Well as you know Edinurgh, and Glasgow isnt that far from each other. I know my then ex girlfriend was very much in love with me when we first met, and we met on the internet. Around 7 months into our relationship she dumps me out of the blue. I got no real answers but the usual, `I m confused right now`, and the `its not you its me routine`. I wasnt getting the answers from her so after one drunken night out I managed to get into her profile on the dating site!! I found out that while I was on holiday for 7 days, she went back on the internet,and spoke to the first person that gave her attention. Basically this guy went on, and flirted with her, and asked her to dump me. Obviousily I wasn`t there to set the guy on fire. I think this was the deciding factor why my ex left me, because I wasn`t there for here when she needed me. However LDR do work, but you need a lot of trust. You need to sent texts, letters, email, phone, and occasional visits to remind them you still care. I certainly wouldnt be happy with an ex being in touch. One thing can lead to another and if alcohol comes into play, then you might get them back together. You need to keep talking to her, and re-assure your love. Don`t whatever you do, is question or anaylse her about her ex, or you will drive her away.
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