ALLALONEAT35 Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 What should I do? I am missing my husband like crazy. I want to call but I stop myself, to remind myself he doesnt call me. I want to see him so bad, but he doesnt come see me. A lot of people are telling me that it might be pushing him further away. But i am afraid if I dont stay in contact another women would enter his life. I would just die if that happened, I kinda feel like I am dying now. What do you think?
trevty Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 My God, I know what you mean!!!! I am going thru the same thing with my wife and am so lost right now. It is hard, moreso when there is no one to talk to. You must get it too, the people that just listen but dont help other then being a sounding board. I dont have much in the way of advise other then to say, FIGHT BACK CALLING! It is the hardest thing to do, but you and I both have got to be gone from there lives for them to see what they are missing. It may be that on the other side of this we are moving on, but be strong and I will talk to you. I am sorry for your loss, losing love is unbearable at times, just keep your head up, ask questions here, and I promise to answer anything you ask as best as I can. Hopefully your husband and my wife find there ways soon! God Bless, Trevty
Author ALLALONEAT35 Posted July 23, 2006 Author Posted July 23, 2006 Why is it easier said then done. Life is too short for all this soap opera. Either they love us and want it too work or they dont. I feel like a puppet on a string, and he is in control of me. Thats one thing I hate about it I feel like I dont have control of myself, the way I feel, what to do and how to do things. Its only been two weeks since me and my husband split, and to be honest I really dont see him coming back. He move into his mothers with his kids, and she is making life way to easy. He has no and I mean no responsibilities. So know that, why would he want to come back. I think i starting to get angry with him. He just doesnt realize what he had. He probably well never know. Men cant live with them cant live without them. This is nice to be able to let it all out and feel like someone cares and understand, because all my friends and family just dont understand me. I think I am crazy for wanting him to come home. They think I am better without him. I always hear there is someone better for me out there. But how can you look for that other person when you want the one you had. Love sucks..
trevty Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 I hear everything you are saying! I feel the same way, she has all the control in this until I am able to realize something else is out there. I know things will get better, but I want them better with her! It sucks to talk with anyone right now. No one really wants to talk about it and if they do, it is never what you want to hear. We have not spoken in 44 hours, almost 2 full days and it is brutal to have nothing to do to replace the time that I would normally be with my family.
amaysngrace Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Separation does make you miss the conversations you once had. But you need to consider if it's them you're missing, or just having someone to talk to. You are separated for a reason, and it probably means a problematic marriage. What you need to do is focus on yourself right now. Journal if you have thoughts you wish to be heard. Enjoy your free time by doing what you were unable to fit into your life before. Fill the void on your own. Take extra good care of yourself right now. Just because someone is making you feel like you're not worth it doesn't make it so. You are worth it. Take a walk, take a bath, read a book. Whatever you'd like to ensure you are pampering you. The more whole you become, the smaller the emotional void gets.
tonyp56 Posted July 23, 2006 Posted July 23, 2006 Read my other post in your other thread. You don't want him to have power over you? Cut him off; don't let him pull your strings anymore. You are the only one that can, he likely wouldn't anyways, your family can't, your friends can't, your kids can't, your therapist can't, and anyone else around you can't either. Now that is difficult I know, but if you set your mind to it, you can do it. Why not go ahead with it? You can't make him come home to you, and face it if he was going to he would have already done it. So why hurt yourself by letting him--or the thought of him--control your life. Isn't there something you've always wanted to do? A place you've always wanted to see? There has to be something, figure one out that you can do, maybe something that only requires two or three days instead of weeks, and go do it. You said before in your other thread that you went out with a friend, but couldn't stop talking about him. I know that it is hard--I went through same thing, couldn't shut up talking about my ex-wife--but go out with a friend and talk about something else, perhaps, don't even talk at all, just enjoy the movie, show, play, etc. without any words. Let yourself enjoy something, if you start thinking of him, turn it around and think "He don't know what he is missing, hahhahahaha" and then try your best to think of something else. I know it is a bore, but I found trying to analyze the movie or whatever helped me. When I used my brain to concentrate on something there wasn't much room for my ex.
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